I Believe
by ShastenRothe
Summary: Basically a fic starting where the season finale left off. Peter has just come out to tell the family. LAST CHAPTER UP! READ AND REVIEW
1. Breathless

He wasn't sure how to feel. Just minutes ago he had been elated over the birth of  
  
his son, now he felt like someone had punched him in the gut with a set of brass  
  
knuckles. It was difficult to breathe; a feeling was lodged in his chest. He wasn't sure  
  
how to feel. Just minutes ago he had been elated over the birth of his son, now he felt like  
  
someone had punched him in the gut with a set of brass knuckles. A smothering feeling  
  
made it difficult to breath. His mind was barely functioning as he headed for the waiting  
  
room, unsure of what to tell his family. As he pushed open the door, they turned, eager  
  
eyed and excited. If they only knew.  
  
" What's going on? Is the baby okay?" questioned his mother.  
  
" The baby's fine," he managed to squeeze out before he began to cry.  
  
" Peter, son, are you okay?"  
  
" I walked back in and she was dying."  
  
" Gillian?"  
  
" I walked back into the operating room and her heart had stopped. They just kept  
  
shocking her."  
  
" Well I'm sure she's fine," Maxine replied in her mothering voice.  
  
" Yeah Uncle Peter, she's going to be fine," quipped Lauren from a corner.  
  
" Then how come they won't let me see her?" 


	2. In A Few

" They won't let you see her?" questioned Amy.  
  
" They 'escorted' me out of the room and told me that I didn't need to be  
  
'viewing' what was going on."  
  
" That's not right," said a clueless Lauren.  
  
" I just want to see my wife. I want her to hold our child."  
  
" She'll hold your son," reassured Maxine as she embraced her son.  
  
" I'll be right back. I've got to make a quick call," Amy said as she stood up and  
  
started to exit.  
  
" Don't go. Stay incase we hear some news?"  
  
" I promise the call is only going to take a minute."  
  
*****  
  
He was standing frozen in a dazed stupor. He couldn't believe she was leaving.  
  
The shock was consuming his body slowly. He was oblivious to the outside world.  
  
Through a long, endless seeming tunnel he heard his cell phone ringing. He had to  
  
answer it.  
  
" Hello?"  
  
" Kyle, it's Amy."  
  
" Oh."  
  
" Were you expecting someone else?"  
  
" It's a long story."  
  
" Well I'd love to hear it, but I don't have time."  
  
" So what's up?"  
  
" Gillian had her baby."  
  
" She did? How is it?"  
  
" According to Peter, perfect."  
  
" Well that's about the only good news I've had all day."  
  
" I wish it were all good."  
  
" Why? Did something happen?"  
  
" We don't know. They won't tell us?"  
  
" What do you mean they won't tell you?"  
  
" Peter went back in after he came out to tell us about the baby and her heart had  
  
stopped. They took him out and told him he 'didn't need to be witnessing the events that  
  
were taking place.'"  
  
" And no one has been out to update you?"  
  
" No. Peter's a basket case and Mom's not much better."  
  
" I'll be over."  
  
" Thanks. I think it would mean a lot to them. I'll meet you on the third floor."  
  
" See you in a few." 


	3. Help

**SORRY THESE CHAPTERS ARE SO SHORT.. THEY'LL GET LONGER SOON**  
  
Stu found himself instantly drawn out from the corner to Amy's multiple  
  
assembled family members. It seemed awkward. He had only met them a few times.  
  
Maxine broke the silence as she saw him standing there.  
  
" Stu. What are you doing here? I didn't even see you until now."  
  
" I was asking Amy something."  
  
" What were you asking her?" quipped Lauren.  
  
" I asked her to marry me."  
  
" Kyle! You're finally here," Amy said as he stepped off the elevators.  
  
" Yeah. Traffic was god awful," he replied as they hugged.  
  
" I bet. Let's go see everyone."  
  
" Hang on a second. Is that a ring on your finger?"  
  
" Yeah. Stu proposed. Now let's go. I want to see if anyone has heard any news  
  
yet," stated Amy as they walked off.  
  
" You asked my mom to marry you?" asked an excited Lauren.  
  
" Yeah I did," Stu said as Amy and Kyle entered.  
  
" Kyle what are you doing here?" wondered Maxine as she stood.  
  
" Amy called me and told me about what was going on. I came to see if I could  
  
offer any help."  
  
" Help?" Peter asked. "Please go find what's wrong with my wife."  
  
" I'll try," he replied as he walked across the room and flashed a nurse his ID.  
  
Seconds later he disappeared behind the same swinging doors Peter had entered from. 


	4. Questions

She wasn't sure how to feel as she sat motionless behind the wheel of her car.  
  
Had he confirmed her earlier suspicions? Did he have feelings for her? More importantly,  
  
did she have feelings for him? That's what worried her. The aching in her heart. The  
  
twisting feeling in her stomach. Was it love?  
  
" After delivering her child, Gillian began losing an alarming amount of blood.  
  
We managed to stop the bleeding and replace most of the lost blood. However, while this  
  
was occurring, she went into shock and her heart stopped. We tried for twenty minutes to  
  
get her back. After twenty-five minutes we were successful. However she is on a  
  
respirator and all signs of brain activity are negative."  
  
" Is she officially brain dead?"  
  
" We won't know until the latest brain scan comes back."  
  
" How long will that be?"  
  
" Possibly five minutes. Would you like to wait for it?"  
  
" If it's at all possible could I see her while we wait?"  
  
" Sure. Down the hall to the right is her room. ICU 3."  
  
" Thanks."  
  
Peter found himself pacing back and forth across the waiting room floor. What  
  
was taking so long? Why hadn't he come back? Was his wife okay? Was something  
  
wrong? Why was this happening? Why them?  
  
" Peter, the sitter is here with Ned. Do you want her to leave him here or take him  
  
home?" asked Amy. He stopped pacing and turned to face his son struggling to climb into  
  
the arms of his father.  
  
" He can stay here," Peter replied as he took Ned in his arms.  
  
" Are you sure?"  
  
" Yes I'm sure!" he snapped unexpectedly.  
  
Look, I'm sorry," stated Peter as his son glanced into his eyes and simply asked,  
  
" Mommy?" 


	5. Fate

His stomach felt as if it were made of solid lead as he headed towards the waiting  
  
room. How was he going to face his family? This was hands down one of the hardest, if  
  
not the hardest thing he had done in life. How was he going to tell them that she was  
  
never going to wake up? How was he going to tell Peter that his wife would not live to  
  
see their sons grow up? How was he going to find the words? He was going to have to  
  
find them extremely fast he realized as his palms connected with the doors, forcing them  
  
open.  
  
Every single person's head jerked up in response as the doors clanked open. Peter  
  
turned from the window, anticipation in his eyes. For a while, Kyle stood motionless as if  
  
he were a statue. After a few minutes, he stepped towards Peter, a grim look in his eyes.  
  
" How is she? How is my wife? And my son? How is he?"  
  
" Your son is doing great. The doctors say he's as perfect as perfect can be." All  
  
in the room let out a huge sigh of relief. All that is, but Peter.  
  
" How is my wife?" Kyle remained tight faced, his lips still.  
  
" Please. Tell me. How is she? I just want to know how she is."  
  
The silence remained as Peter's face began to redden.  
  
" GOD DAMMIT KYLE. TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH  
  
MY WIFE! Please! If it's bad I want to know."  
  
" Gillian lost a lot of blood. The doctors replaced most of it by transfusions, but  
  
during all of this, her heart stopped."  
  
" Oh God. Is she?"  
  
" They spent twenty minutes shocking her. After twenty-five minutes they got her  
  
back. Peter, during those twenty-five minutes, Gillian's brain was deprived of oxygen.  
  
The doctors saw no visible brain activity and placed her on a respirator. Just five minutes  
  
ago they performed a conclusive test that confirmed she is in fact brain dead."  
  
" What are you trying to tell me? Is she dead?"  
  
" She's in a permanent chronic vegetative state. Peter, Gillian is never going to  
  
wake up."  
  
" What are the options?"  
  
" You can either keep her connected to all the machines or pull the plug."  
  
" If I keep her connected?"  
  
" She'll never regain consciousness. She'll lie in a bed with nothing keeping her  
  
alive but the machines. She won't be able to function at all. Like I said, she's in a  
  
chronic vegetative state. You'll have to keep her in a nursing home until the inevitable  
  
happens and her body can no longer be supported by the machines."  
  
" And there's nothing you can do for her? I mean, you majored in Neurosurgery,  
  
didn't you? There's nothing you can do that can reverse this?"  
  
" No. There's nothing I can do. There's nothing anyone can do."  
  
" There's no possible way fate could reverse this?"  
  
" No."  
  
" Then I know what I have to do." 


	6. Never Forget

" Peter, are you sure you want to let her go?" Maxine asked.  
  
" Mom, if she were in my shoes, she'd do the same. I don't want her suffer. I want  
  
her to be in peace."  
  
" Then we as a family respect your wishes," spoke up Amy.  
  
" I'd like to you all to come and see our son first. There's something I'd like to  
  
do."  
  
The entire family plus Stu crowded around the nursery window. The nurse gave  
  
Peter a stern look as he picked up his son, but smiled as he exited.  
  
" He's beautiful," Maxine crooned.  
  
" What's his name?" Lauren asked.  
  
" Well. That's the thing. He doesn't have a name. Yet. Gillian and I had one in  
  
mind, but we wanted to make sure it was okay with you Mom."  
  
" I'm sure whatever it is, I'll like it."  
  
" Gillian and I were wondering if you'd allow us to name our son Jared."  
  
Maxine stood speechless, not sure what to make of her son's request.  
  
" Well of course. I'd be honored to have my grandson's name be Jared. I think  
  
Jared would be honored as well."  
  
" So his name is Jared?" Lauren wondered.  
  
" Yes. Jared Lucas Gray."  
  
" Gillian, it's me. I've got our beautiful son with me. His name is Jared Lucas,  
  
just like you wanted. Ten fingers, ten toes, and a head full of red hair. God Gill. I wish  
  
you could see him. The good news is he's perfect, no signs of disease. He's going to be  
  
fine," he said as he turned to the nurse who had just entered.  
" Would it be all right if she held him? I know it sounds silly, but." Peter  
  
hesitated.  
  
" Of course. Would you like for me to help you?"  
  
" Yes," he replied. Carefully the nurse helped him nestle Jared in his wife's arms.  
  
Peter stepped back to look at the two of them together. Tears began gathering in his eyes.  
  
This was going to be the first and last time she got to hold her son. Peter savored the  
  
moment before him, picturing it distinctly in his mind, knowing that he'd never forget. 


	7. Support

" You know Gillian, the day I married you was the best day of my life. You made  
  
me so complete. I'm never going to forget a single day that we had together. Our boys are  
  
a living reminder of our love. I won't let them grow up not knowing their mother. It's sad  
  
that they'll never know the woman I did, but I know you'll be watching over us. I love  
  
you," Peter whispered as he kissed his wife. Taking one last longing look at her, he  
  
turned and exited her room in tears.  
  
Maxine was waiting at the doors when her son entered, tears running down his  
  
face. She wrapped immediately wrapped him in her arms.  
  
" Shh. It's going to be okay."  
  
" Would you all come with me when they.." Peter couldn't find the words to  
  
end the sentence.  
  
" Of course we will. We want to be there for you," Amy answered for everybody,  
  
who nodded unanimously.  
  
" I've also made another important decision that I hope you all support. I've  
  
signed the papers to donate Gillian's organs."  
  
" That's wonderful," quipped a supportive Maxine as everyone stood and began  
  
the walk to her room.  
  
For Peter, the short, simple walk seemed like it was miles long, while it was only  
  
a mere two minutes. He looked at his family around him, wondering if he had made the  
  
correct decision. They would surely help him with the boys, but it was going to be  
  
difficult to raise them on his own when the family wasn't there. His heart pounded in his  
  
chest with every step he took closer to Gillian. This was the end.  
  
Amy glanced over at her brother. He had always appeared strong and brave to her  
  
before, but now he appeared weak and afraid. She knew he was going through hell inside,  
  
losing her. Truthfully, Amy wasn't feeling that strong either. How were they going to  
  
function as a family without Gillian there? How was Peter going to manage? Turning to  
  
her brother, she grasped onto his hand. Gently Amy squeezed it, letting Peter know she  
  
was there for him. As he squeezed back, she could see the tears brimming in his eyes. He  
  
broke away and took his wife's frail hand in his. Everyone then locked hands with him  
  
and the person to their left, forming a circle around her bed.  
  
" I'm ready," he spoke, barely a whisper. A group of waiting doctors stepped in  
  
between them and pushed the bed out. Peter watched it until it turned the corner, no  
  
longer visible. At that precise moment he fell to his knees, crying hysterically. 


	8. Exploding Coffee Pots and Raging Tempers

They all stayed there that night in the family room. No one wanted to be alone.  
  
Stu and Amy snuggled close together. Amy held onto to him for dear life, not wanting to  
  
let go. Lauren allowed Maxine to hold her in her arms as they slept side by side on the  
  
floor. Kyle found himself in the middle of it all, wide awake, thinking about how he  
  
would love for her to be there, wrapped in his arms.  
  
Early the next morning Maxine awoke and found her way into the kitchen. She  
  
needed coffee in the worst way and she was sure everyone else would appreciate it too.  
  
While the water warmed up, she picked up the phone and dialed DCFS, stopping long  
  
enough to tap in Sean's extension number.  
  
" Hello. Sean Potter speaking."  
  
" Sean, it's Maxine."  
  
" Maxine. Where the hell are you? It's eight o'clock."  
  
" Sean. I won't be coming in for a few days. There's been a death in our family."  
  
" Who?"  
  
" Peter's wife Gillian died after giving birth to their son."  
  
" Oh god Maxine. I'm so sorry. How's Peter?"  
  
" Not so well."  
  
" Maxine, you listen to me. I want you to take as much time as you want off with  
  
your family. Don't come back until you want to."  
  
" Thank you Sean. I must go now. The coffee pot is about to explode all over my  
  
new kitchen," Maxine concluded as she hung up the phone.  
  
His eye sockets felt as if they were filled with cotton, dry and itchy as he opened  
  
them. The rawness of the skin stung. After a few blinks he sat up and was unsure of his surroundings. This wasn't his room, at least it wasn't the one he had slept in since he had  
  
moved out of the house at eighteen. Why was he sleeping in his old room? Why was he  
  
alone? Slowly bits and pieces of the previous crept into his foggy mind. She was dead.  
  
His wife was gone. Voices downstairs brought him back to reality. Who was there?  
  
Getting out of his bed, Peter stumbled downstairs and into the kitchen where the whole  
  
family plus Stu was crowded around the island, drinking coffee. His heart dropped as he  
  
glanced upon an empty stool, her stool.  
  
" Peter, it's great to see you awake. Would you like a cup of coffee?" asked  
  
Maxine. Peter starred at his mother with the look of death in his eyes.  
  
" My wife died last night and the first words out of your mother are, would you  
  
like a cup of coffee? You know what I'd like Mom? I'd like for my wife to be alive, but  
  
that's not going to happen now is it?" he snapped before he stormed out the front door. 


	9. Call Me Stu

" I should go after him," Maxine said in a rush.  
  
" Mom, let him go. He needs to blow off steam."  
  
" But Amy, he's emotionally distressed. Do you really think he should be alone?"  
  
" Mom, he's a grown man. He can fend for himself."  
  
" Maxine, if I see him on my way into town, I'll pick him up," offered Kyle as he  
  
downed the last remaining bits of coffee in his cup.  
  
" Thanks," Maxine said as she managed a smile.  
  
" I'll look for him too. I'm going into the courthouse to cancel my docket few  
  
days," commented Amy.  
  
" Mom, what about school?" questioned Lauren, who was polishing off a bowl of  
  
Cheerios.  
  
" Sweetie, you don't have to go if you don't want to. It's up to you."  
  
" I want to go at least for the morning, it's Sundae Math Day. Can you pick me up  
  
at lunch so I can come home?"  
  
" Of course sweetie, but if you want to go this morning and have me drop you off  
  
on my way to work, you need to be ready in five minutes!"  
  
" Five minutes?!" Lauren asked, spewing a mouthful of milk onto the counter.  
  
I can't be ready in five minutes!! I've gotta get dressed and do my hair and brush  
  
my teeth and get my homework together and find my library book and get Riley's N  
  
SYNC CD she lent me and do everything else."  
  
" Well if you didn't spend forever in your closet picking out your clothes and  
  
doing your hair, you could be ready in five minutes!"  
  
" No way!"  
  
" Yes way!"  
  
" Mom!"  
  
" Look, Lauren. I'm leaving in five minutes, with or without you."  
  
" Amy, if you need to get to work, I can take her. I don't have to go to work  
  
today."  
  
" Stu, you don't need to do that. She can get ready in time."  
  
" Really, Amy it's no trouble. I'd love to take Lauren to school if she's okay with  
  
it."  
  
" Can Mr. Collins take me to school please Mom, please?! I don't mind."  
  
" Call me Stu, Lauren. Mr. Collins makes me sound like an old man."  
  
" Okay. Can Stu take me to school?"  
  
" I guess. Hurry up though. It's seven thirty and school starts at eight. You know  
  
where her school is, don't you Stu?"  
  
" Yeah."  
  
" Lauren, I'll see you at eleven o'clock, okay?" Amy asked as she grabbed her  
  
purse and headed for the door.  
  
" Okay."  
  
" See you guys later," Kyle shouted as he followed his cousin out the door.  
  
Lauren bounded quickly upstairs where she got ready in record time. Grabbing  
  
her backpack from her bedroom floor she ran back downstairs where Maxine and Stu  
  
were sitting at the counter, talking amongst themselves.  
  
" Okay. I'm ready. See you later Grandma," she said, running over to Maxine,  
  
planting a big kiss on her cheek.  
" Have fun at school. I'll be here when you get home," Maxine replied as Lauren  
  
and Stu exited.  
  
After a few minutes into their car ride, Stu spoke up.  
  
" So I guess your Aunt Gillian was a big part of your family. Did you like her?"  
  
" Aunt Gillian was great. Everyone loved her, including me, but Uncle Peter did  
  
the most. We're all going to miss her like crazy."  
  
" I guess it's going to be cool though having a new baby in the family, kind of  
  
like having a little brother to annoy you."  
  
" Yeah. I wish my mom had more kids. Being an only child is okay, but I want to  
  
have a sister or brother to boss around, you know what I mean?"  
  
" Yeah. I'm an only child too. It gets lonely sometimes."  
  
" So, you're going to marry my mom?"  
  
" That's what I plan on doing if she lets me!"  
  
" Do you love her?"  
  
" Very much."  
  
" Are you going to live with us?  
  
" If you'll let me."  
  
" Are you guys gonna have kids?"  
  
" I'm not sure yet Lauren. We'll leave that for later after the wedding."  
  
" Well if you do, it's okay with me."  
  
" Thanks for your permission Lauren."  
  
" You know what Stu?" Lauren asked as they pulled up to the curb of her school.  
  
" What?"  
  
" I think I'm going to like having you as a second dad."  
" I think you're going to be a great daughter," Stu said with a smile as Lauren got  
  
out.  
  
" See you later Stu."  
  
" Have fun with your sundaes!" he shouted as she ran off to a group of friends. 


	10. Come Down

He felt awkward as he headed into the hospital searching for her. After their  
  
'confrontation' last night, he had mixed emotions. Part of him wanted to chase her to  
  
Detroit. Another part of him wanted to demand she stayed while yet another part of him  
  
wanted Lily completely out of his life. On top of all the confusion there was the  
  
numbness of Gillian's death. Of all the times for his "love-life" problems to hit, it had to  
  
be at the same time his cousin-in-law died. He was so pissed at himself for not seeing the  
  
risks involved with her pregnancy. He.  
  
" Kyle, we need to talk." Kyle whirled around only to come face to face with Lily.  
  
" Yes we do. Look, Lily, I need."  
  
" About last night. What we said."  
  
" Lily this isn't the best time to talk about it."  
  
" We need to talk about it though. What time would be good for you?" she replied  
  
in a bitterly sarcastic tone.  
  
" Lily, I don't need this now."  
  
" Well you know what? I don't need this now either," Lily stated as she stormed  
  
off.  
  
" Lily! Wait. I need to talk to you."  
  
" Oh. So now you want to talk?" she asked, as she spun around and stopped  
  
abruptly.  
  
" Yes. Look. I need some time off."  
  
" Don't we all?"  
  
" No, I really need some time."  
  
" How long? Are we talking a few hours? A day?"  
  
" I'm not sure. It could be a few days, a few weeks. I'm not sure."  
  
" What's this for?"  
  
" I doubt that you will, but do you remember my cousin whose wife was going to  
  
have a baby?"  
  
" The one with the possible pre-natal birth defect?"  
  
" She died last night after giving birth to a perfect son. I wound up being the one  
  
that had to tell my cousin that his wife was brain dead. I wound up being the one to pull  
  
the Life Support. I had to watch a grown man cry in his mother's arms. Do you know  
  
what it feels like to watch someone cry like that? It's a feeling you'd like to forget. And  
  
then I came here, to ask for time off to attend her funeral, with no intention of bringing up  
  
last night and that was the first thing out of your mouth. Not, you look like crap Kyle.  
  
Not, good morning Kyle. 'About last night.' That's what I hate about you Lily. You have  
  
what appears to be little common courtesy. You're so self-centered. I'm sorry to be the  
  
one to tell you Lily, but it's time for you to come down to the real world and climb off  
  
that high horse you've been on for god knows how long." The whole entire area was dead  
  
silent as Lily's facial expression shifted to a cross between just being slapped and deep  
  
shock. Slowly, every possible person on the floor dropped what he or she was doing and  
  
began to clap. The applause was quiet at first, but then erupted into a thunderous roar.  
  
Kyle found himself grinning from ear to ear as he exited, Lily still in shock. 


	11. Ten Shades of Red

She felt her cheeks turn ten shades of red, each much darker than the last. Around  
  
her people stood, still clapping. This was not happening. He had not just verbally insulted  
  
her in front of the majority of their co-workers. The scary thing was every single world  
  
he had uttered was true. The scariest thing of it all though was the fact her heart felt like it  
  
was lodging in her throat as her thoughts drifted to him. There was no possible way she  
  
could be falling for him. No possible way.  
  
" Am I the only one around here that actually works?" she barked with a deep  
  
tone of severity in her voice. The once applauded staff sheepishly turned away, busying  
  
themselves with different tasks.  
  
" I thought so."  
  
Amy pulled her wind blown hair into a messy bun as she entered the courthouse.  
  
Her mind was obviously focused on other matters than her appearance. The usual dress  
  
wear was abandoned for a favorite pair of jeans and a long sleeve shirt topped off by her  
  
favorite tennis shoes. Amy received several hesitant glances as she jogged up the flights  
  
of stairs leading to her office. She had exactly an hour to cancel all of her cases for the  
  
next few days and hand them all over to another judge. It was a good thing Jack Emerson  
  
owed her a few favors. Her fellow juvenile court judge would probably be willing to help  
  
her out considering the circumstances.  
  
" Judge Gray. Did I miss the e-mail announcing casual dress day?" joked Bruce as  
  
he entered her chambers.  
  
" No. That's next Friday."  
  
" Then why are you so dressed up?"  
  
" I came in to cancel my docket for the rest of this week and next."  
  
" Why? Is Stu Collins taking you to the Bahamas or something?"  
  
" Gillian died last night Bruce after giving birth to hers and Peter's son."  
  
" That's awful Amy. Are you all right? And Peter."  
  
" Peter's not doing to well."  
  
" And you?"  
  
" It's not fair Bruce. Why did she have to die?" demanded Amy as tears brimmed  
  
in her dark eyes.  
  
" I don't know Amy. I don't know. Sometimes God does things that we don't  
  
understand."  
  
" What did he have against her Bruce?"  
  
" I don't know Amy. Why don't you go home and be with your family? I'll take  
  
care of canceling your docket."  
  
" Thanks Bruce," she replied exiting her office rather quickly. She really didn't  
  
desire explaining her engagement at the moment. 


	12. No Looking Back

" Hey bartender."  
  
" Kyle, what's going on? You look way too happy this early in the morning,"  
  
commented Heather as Kyle took a seat at the bar.  
  
" You missed what may be the best ever lashing that took place at St. Mike's."  
  
" Between?"  
  
" Lily and I."  
  
" You're kidding?! What happened?"  
  
" It's a long story I'll tell you some other time. All you have to know is that I  
  
basically told her to remove her head from her ass and come down to the real world."  
  
" You didn't."  
  
" I did. Just ask the hundred witnesses I had. All of which I might add, applauded  
  
me."  
  
" What did Lily do?"  
  
" She turned the shade of your vest and stood in shock."  
  
" You mean she didn't kill you? You'll go down in history my friend. No one has  
  
ever bitched at Lily and lived to tell the tale."  
  
" Who was the last?"  
  
" Remember Max Ellington?"  
  
" The one with the 'hair?'"  
  
" Yes."  
  
" He's dead?!"  
  
" Nah, but he moved down to Arkansas two weeks after he let Lily have it when  
  
she told him if he didn't stop wearing so much gel in his hair she'd light a match to it. He  
  
retaliated with the whole, 'Well at least I like coming to work looking half decent,'  
  
comment. That then launched the war!"  
  
" And to think that I thought he just disappeared last month because of the flu!"  
  
" So, Kyle. Why are you here? Because if it's to talk, my boss will literally kick  
  
your ass then throw you out. Want your usual?"  
  
" No. In fact Heather, I came to say good-bye."  
  
" Good-bye? Where are you going?"  
  
" I'm not going anywhere Heather. I just can't see you anymore."  
  
" Why?"  
  
" Because before I met you I was sober."  
  
" You can still be sober and see me."  
  
" No I can't. It's too tempting to drink when I'm with you."  
  
" You're seeing someone else aren't you?"  
  
" That has nothing to do with it."  
  
" Then what does?"  
  
" I don't want to talk about it. I'm sorry it had to end this way Heather. See you  
  
later," Kyle replied as he exited the bar without looking back. 


	13. Heavy Combat

***This is a much, much lighter chapter as far as seriousness goes. I figured with all the "darkness" everyone needed to have a bit of fun. Here's the result**  
  
" Hey guys, I'm home," shouted Amy as she re-entered the kitchen to find Stu  
  
and her mother up to their elbows in cookie dough.  
  
" Amy! Back so soon? Care to join in? We were just making some chocolate chip  
  
cookies."  
  
" And why are you making cookies?" asked Amy as she put her bag down.  
  
" Because I had a sudden urge to start baking that's why," replied Maxine.  
  
" And how did you manage to get my fiancé in on this?"  
  
" Maxine had a sudden urge to cook and I had a sudden urge to eat cookies."  
  
" A sudden urge, you say? What would you two do if I had the sudden urge to do  
  
this?" Amy asked as she took a dollop of dough and smeared it down Maxine's cheek.  
  
" Well then I'd have to do this," Maxine said, tossing a bit of dough at Amy, who  
  
ducked in time to be missed. The piece of dough flew over her head and hit Stu smack  
  
dab in the middle of the face.  
  
" Stu! I'm so sorry!" she stammered, trying her best not to laugh.  
  
" I'm sorry too Maxine," Stu stated.  
  
" Sorry for what?" she asked, totally clueless.  
  
" Sorry for this!" he replied, flinging a mixture of batter and flour at her in the  
  
face.  
  
" Do you know what this means?" said Maxine.  
  
" WAR!" shouted Amy.  
  
No sooner than he ducked behind the kitchen table was Stu pelted with repeated  
  
balls of dough. Scraping off as much as he could, he retaliated with force, aiming for  
  
nothing in particular. He heard a screech and looked up as Amy appeared from behind the  
  
island, her curly auburn hair now covered with a fine dusting of flour.  
  
" You're going to pay for that Mom!" Amy replied, tossing a large makeshift  
  
"bomb" her mother's way. Maxine quickly ducked, bypassing the blob, which landed  
  
with a hearty smack on the window over the sink.  
  
" TRUCE!" screamed Maxine.  
  
" You can't surrender that easily!" stated Stu from behind the kitchen table.  
  
" It's not over till the fat lady sings," quipped Amy.  
  
" If that's what I have to do to spare my kitchen drapes," stated Maxine.  
  
" All right Mom. For one thing, you are NOT singing in front of Stu. It'll drive  
  
him away. Two. These are my kitchen drapes!" With that, the war regained itself,  
  
ammunition firing every direction. In the midst of their "heated" battle, Kyle walked in,  
  
oblivious to the "heavy" combat that was taking place.  
  
" Is anyone here?" he asked, stepping into the battlefield that had become the  
  
kitchen. Maxine's head popped up briefly from behind the island.  
  
" Hello Kyle. Nice to see you back."  
  
" Might I ask what you're doing?"  
  
" Ask again when I've won the war."  
  
" What war is that?" he wondered as Maxine ducked back down.  
  
" The one I started," answered a flour covered Amy as she hurled something  
  
across the room at a half concealed Stu, who was crouched down behind the table  
  
" Why?"  
  
" Look, unless you want to get hit, I'd suggest moving out of the way."  
  
" Why would I want?" he said, suddenly trailing off as a large mass of dough hit  
  
him on the side of his face. Licking a bit off his finger, he replied,  
  
" Mmm. Chocolate chip. Look I hate to be the general here, but it's 11:50 Amy.  
  
Aren't you supposed to be picking up Lauren?"  
  
" Shit!" screamed Amy as she popped up along with Maxine and Stu.  
  
" Should we consider that as your surrender?" asked Stu.  
  
" YES!" she said, trying her best to shake the flour out of her hair. Maxine,  
  
meanwhile, was surveying the "damage" done to the kitchen. Not only was there dough  
  
splattered on the window, but the floor had a fine dusting of flour upon it. Bits of dough  
  
lingered through out the room and a few were stuck to the ceiling.  
  
" There's no way I can pick her up like this!" screeched Amy. "I'm covered head  
  
to toe in flour!"  
  
" I'll go. I'm the cleanest for once," volunteered Kyle.  
  
" Don't you have to work?"  
  
" It's a long story. I'll tell it when I get back."  
  
Lauren was waiting at the sidewalk with a teacher when he pulled up. She jumped  
  
in quickly, smiling to the teacher before they pulled away.  
  
" Kyle why are you picking me up? Did Mom have to work?"  
  
" Let's just say she, Stu, and Maxine got caught up in something that I just  
  
happened to walk in on and I was the cleanest one so I came."  
  
" What were they doing?" questioned Lauren.  
  
" I'm not quite sure," he replied as he turned left at a traffic light.  
  
" So do you have to work today or are you going to stay at home with us?" she  
  
asked.  
  
" I thought I'd take a few days off since things are going to be a little crazy."  
  
" And the devil woman let you?"  
  
" The devil woman? Where'd you hear that?"  
  
" That's what Mom calls her."  
  
" Her name is Lily, but the devil woman does suit her!"  
  
" Can I ask you something?" wondered Lauren as they pulled into the driveway.  
  
" Sure."  
  
" What's that on your ear? It looks like cookie dough."  
  
" And cookie dough it is," he replied, putting it in his mouth 


	14. Falling

After settling Lauren down with her laptop in the dining room, Amy joined the  
  
others in the kitchen.  
  
" I'm getting worried about Peter, Amy. Perhaps we should call the police,"  
  
suggested Maxine as she finished cleaning the last bit of dough off the window.  
  
" Ma, we don't need to call the police. He can make it home on his own. Just give  
  
him some time to himself. His wife just died."  
  
" Time to himself? Amy, he's been gone for almost six hours."  
  
" Did anyone ever think to check if he's been at the hospital? Maybe he's visiting  
  
his son," commented Stu.  
  
" You're a genius Stu. I don't know why we never thought of that!" remarked  
  
Maxine.  
  
" Why don't you try calling his cell phone first? It may be easier to reach him. I  
  
mean, you don't even know if he's there," remarked Amy. Maxine picked up the cordless  
  
phone and punched in her son's cell phone number, praying that he would pick up on the  
  
other end.  
  
He heard the ringing of his cell phone as he cradled his newborn son in his arms.  
  
He had to resist the temptation to turn it off and spend the rest of the day in silence, but  
  
he knew it was his mother and he knew that she'd keep calling. Pulling the small phone  
  
out of his pocket, he flipped it on.  
  
" Hello Mom."  
  
" Peter, where are you? We're all worried sick about you."  
  
" I'm fine Mom."  
  
" Where are you?"  
  
" Sitting on our.. my front porch with Jared."  
  
" They let you take him home so soon?"  
  
" All of his doctors gave him a clean bill of health. He's just fine."  
  
" And where is Ned?"  
  
" With the sitter. I just needed some time alone with Jared."  
  
" Why don't the two of you come over here? We'd all love to see the baby and  
  
help out in any way possible."  
  
" Mom, I need to do this on my own. Okay? I need to get used to this by myself.  
  
I'll call you later." With that, he hung up.  
  
" So? Where is he?" inquired Amy.  
  
" At home. With Jared," an unhappy Maxine stated.  
  
" They let him take him home this soon?" questioned Kyle.  
  
" According to Peter they gave him a clean bill of heath."  
  
" Are they coming over later for dinner?"  
  
" No. According to Peter he needs to do this on his own. Being the understanding  
  
person that I am, I respect his decision." With that, Maxine walked upstairs.  
  
" Hey Amy, can we talk?" asked Kyle.  
  
" Sure."  
  
" No offense Stu, but I need to talk to her alone."  
  
" None taken. Amy, I'll be in the living room when you're done," Stu said as he  
  
exited through the dining room into the living room.  
  
" So what's up Kyle?"  
  
" I'm sober again."  
  
" I've heard this story before Kyle. Do you expect me to believe it again?"  
  
" I'm telling the truth Amy. Why else would I break it off with Heather if I  
  
weren't serious about this?"  
  
" You and Heather are through? That was a quick one."  
  
" Amy, I had to end it. Every time I was with Heather, I wanted to drink. I had no  
  
will power when I was with her. It didn't help that she was a bartender either."  
  
" So you really are serious about this?"  
  
" That's what I've been trying to tell you."  
  
" So what else is there? I know there's something you aren't telling me."  
  
" What makes you think that?"  
  
" Because you've never been good at hiding things. So spill."  
  
" I think I'm falling for Lily." 


	15. Time Frame

Amy found herself laughing despite the seriousness of the conversation.  
  
" What?" questioned a slightly perturbed Kyle.  
  
" It's just that I can't picture you with the devil woman. Nothing against you, but  
  
she just doesn't seem like your type."  
  
" What would you say if I thought Stu Collins wasn't your type?" he challenged.  
  
" You're kidding me right? I thought you liked Stu."  
  
" It's just the situation Amy. It seems like every girlfriend I have you disapprove  
  
of."  
  
" Heather was nice."  
  
" Heather was also a drug addict and she drinks. How was I supposed to resist  
  
those temptations? I'd basically be putting the final nail in the coffin if I stayed with her."  
  
" Well then, if you're so in love with Lily, what are you going to do about it?"  
  
" I'm not quite sure seeing that she's leaving to take a job in a different state.  
  
Gives me a bit of a time frame Amy."  
  
" Then you know what you have to do, don't you?"  
  
" No, what's that?"  
  
" Convince her to stay here."  
  
" That may be a bit hard considering that I'm probably most of the reason she's  
  
leaving."  
  
" Then make her see that she needs you."  
  
" Thanks Amy," he replied with a smile.  
  
" What are you doing standing here? Go and talk to her."  
  
" Good idea. I'll try and make it back for dinner. Call me if there's anything you  
  
need," Kyle replied as he rushed out of the house.  
  
" So, how was it taking Lauren to school this morning? I never got to ask you  
  
about that," Amy said as she walked into the living room where Stu was waiting.  
  
" It went great. Lauren's a great kid. She said that she's love to have me as a  
  
second father and even gave us permission to have more kids!"  
  
" She said that?! My daughter gave us permission to have sex?"  
  
" Not in those words exactly, but she told me it was okay if we wanted to have  
  
more kids."  
  
" She's a trip."  
  
" Just like her mother," Stu whispered as he moved closer, gently kissing Amy on  
  
the lips.  
  
" Stu, we can't do this right now with Lauren right next door."  
  
" Then when can we?"  
  
" Sometime, but just not right now."  
  
" I'm going to hold you to that," remarked Stu as he removed himself from Amy's  
  
embrace and headed for the kitchen. 


	16. Running Away

His clammy hands gripped the steering wheel of his car as he pulled into a  
  
parking space in front of her apartment. He couldn't believe he was here, he couldn't  
  
believe it had come down to this. Pulling the keys out of the ignition, he opened the car  
  
door and jogged up to the front doors of the apartment. Glancing at a list of names he  
  
discovered she lived in apartment 5B. Now all he had to do was wait for someone to let  
  
him in. The wait wasn't very long however. A small petit woman with a large Golden  
  
Retriever attached to a leash bounded out of the doors. Kyle laughed to himself as he  
  
watched the dog drag its owner down the sidewalk. After they disappeared around a  
  
corner he walked over to the elevator and stepped in. Pressing the large 5, he held his  
  
breath and waited.  
  
She had just begun wrapping up her plates in wads of newspapers when she heard  
  
the loud knocking on the door. Her pizza was finally here.  
  
" I hope it's warm this time or you're.." she stopped as she opened the door.  
  
You're not the pizza man."  
  
" Indeed I'm not. I did deliver pizzas in college though."  
  
" Look, why are you here Kyle? I thought we settled this earlier."  
  
" I don't believe we settled anything. All I told you was to re."  
  
" I know what you told me and so do the other hundred people that heard you."  
  
" How long did they keep clapping?"  
  
" Too long," answered a frustrated Lily.  
  
" You had it coming to you Lily."  
  
" I did? Look, do us both a favor and go home. I don't want to have to deal with  
  
you right now."  
  
" I'll leave. On one condition."  
  
" Fine. Anything to get you out of here faster."  
  
" Tell me why you're running away from me cause we both know we have  
  
feelings for each other."  
  
" What makes you think I have feelings for you?"  
  
" Don't be so bull headed. Now answer my question. Why are you running  
  
away?"  
  
" Because I can't love anybody without them leaving me! That's why! Are you  
  
satisfied?"  
  
" Do you really think I'd leave you? Is that why you refuse to get close?"  
  
" You need to go. Now," she insisted, her voice on the verge of crying.  
  
" Stop running Lily."  
  
" Go or I'll call security. Please!"  
  
" Fine. Just realize that you can't keep doing this for the rest of your life," Kyle  
  
pointed out as he walked down the hall.  
  
She felt her heart welling up in her chest as she sank to the ground. Tears fell and  
  
stained the rug-covered floor. This was not happening again. She just couldn't get close  
  
to another guy and be abandoned. First it was her father, then her best friend Dave. Then  
  
there was Wade. God, she didn't need to be thinking about Wade. That was a whole  
  
different road she didn't need to go down again. Drying the tears from her eyes, Lily  
  
stood and turned on the radio. She needed to finishing packing. The sooner she was done  
  
packing, the sooner she could get out of town and forget about him. A song ended and  
  
another began. Listening to the words as she packed up the linens, Lily cursed. Why did  
  
everything have to go back to him?  
  
I I don't want you  
  
To give it all up  
  
And leave your own life  
  
Collecting dust  
  
And I don't want you  
  
To feel sorry for me  
  
You never gave us  
  
A chance to be  
  
And I don't need you  
  
To be by my side  
  
To tell me that  
  
Everything's all right  
  
I just wanted you to  
  
Tell me the truth  
  
You know I'd do that for you  
  
Why are you running away?  
  
Why are you running away?  
  
'Cause I did enough  
  
To show you that I  
  
Was willing to give and sacrifice  
  
And I was the one  
  
Who was lifting you up  
  
When you thought  
  
Your life had had enough  
  
And when I get close  
  
You turn away  
  
There's nothing that  
  
I can do or say  
  
So now I need you to  
  
Tell me the truth  
  
You know I'd do that for you  
  
So why are you running away?  
  
Why are you running away?  
  
Is it me, is it you  
  
Nothing that I can do  
  
To make you  
  
Change your mind  
  
Is it me, is it you  
  
Nothing that I can do  
  
Is it a waste of time?  
  
Is it me, is it you  
  
Nothing that I can do  
  
To make you  
  
Change your mind  
  
So why are you running away?  
  
Why are you running away?  
  
What is it I've got to say  
  
So why are you running away?  
  
To make you admit you're afraid  
  
Why are you running away? I  
  
Running Away by Hoobastank 


	17. Scream Bloody Murder

" Where did Kyle run off to this close to dinner?" asked Maxine as she carried a  
  
plate of fried chicken to the table.  
  
" He went to settle his 'lover's spat' with Devil Woman," replied Amy as she sat  
  
down a heaping bowl of mashed potatoes.  
  
" Kyle and the devil woman? When did you become such a good liar Amy?"  
  
wondered Maxine as she traveled back into the kitchen.  
  
" It's true. He even broke up with Heather for her."  
  
" If I recall didn't he say he'd rather slit his wrists then be in the same room with  
  
that woman for more than a minute?" she asked as she pulled a boat full of gravy from  
  
the microwave.  
  
" Something along those lines," Amy said as she filled water glasses.  
  
Mom, I learned a long time ago to stop asking questions about Kyle. He's one  
  
person I can't read."  
  
" I'll give you that!" Maxine replied from the dining room.  
  
They had just sat down to dinner when the kitchen door slammed open and shut.  
  
" Kyle, is that you?" inquired Maxine as she passed Lauren the mashed potatoes.  
  
" Yes," he said as he entered the room with a look of deep anger upon his face.  
  
" Did it go well with the devil woman?" asked Lauren.  
  
" About the opposite of what I hoped."  
  
" Dare I ask?" wondered Amy.  
  
" I just have a strong sudden urge to scream bloody murder, you know? That's  
  
how much she's frustrating me right now," remarked Kyle.  
  
" You're free to borrow the front yard," Maxine said as she took a chicken leg.  
" That's ok. I'll scream later. Right now I'm ready to dig into that chicken. I  
  
haven't eaten since the cookie fight."  
  
Peter found himself unable to sleep. He had gathered a set of sheets and took them  
  
to the downstairs guest room. He hadn't been upstairs at all and he didn't desire doing so  
  
either. Stepping into their bedroom would be too painful. Seeing their bed they shared  
  
together. The nursery that she had worked so hard on was idle at the top of the stairs, the  
  
door pulled tightly shut. Jared was fast asleep in his car seat on the floor while Ned was  
  
curled up into a small ball on the other side of the bed. Glancing at the small wall clock,  
  
Peter saw that it was only 10:00 P.M. He needed to sleep. He could feel the fatigue and  
  
grief eating away at him, pushing him into further exhaustion. Yet every time he  
  
attempted to sleep, she was there, haunting his visions. He imagined her lying beside him,  
  
imagined her talking to him, telling him it was all a joke. Then he opened his eyes and  
  
realized it wasn't true, but a dream. He had put Ned to bed nearly two hours ago when the  
  
sitter had dropped him off, but Jared still remained at his side, asleep in his car seat. He  
  
thought about placing his son in the nursery Gillian had feverishly worked on, but  
  
quickly decided against it. There were too many memories there. The whole house was a  
  
memory. They ate breakfast every morning as a family in the kitchen. They read their son  
  
stories in his bedroom. They decorated the nursery together. They shared their bed  
  
together. On late summer nights they would sit together on the porch swing and star gaze.  
  
Now they wouldn't be able to do any of those things together. It was just him. 


	18. Pajamas

The hours stretched on and on, each feeling days longer than the last. Peter  
  
vaguely remembered partially watching Mission: Impossible II, Punch Drunk Love, and  
  
Sleepless in Seattle on various movie channels. Armageddon had just started at seven  
  
when the phone rang. He warily answered it.  
  
" Hello?"  
  
" Is this Mr. Gray?"  
  
" Yes."  
  
" This is Dr. Peterson's office. We were just wondering if Gillian would be  
  
coming in today." Peter took a deep breath as his heart began climbing up his chest.  
  
" No. In fact she won't be coming back."  
  
" May I ask why?"  
  
" Gillian..Gillian passed on last night."  
  
" We're so sorry. Our condolences Mr. Gray," replied the voice as they hung up.  
  
Peter gently put the phone down and began to cry. How was he going to get through this?  
  
" I've got to go home," Kyle said with a yawn as he made his way into the  
  
kitchen.  
  
" Why is that?" Maxine asked as she flipped a stack of pancakes.  
  
" Because I'm going to get too used to having my breakfast made like this. It's  
  
usually a drive thru stop at Tim Horton's before work."  
  
" Well you know you're invited to breakfast everyday, but you've never gotten up  
  
early enough to come over," commented Maxine as she slid a tall plate of pancakes in  
  
front of him.  
  
" That's usually because I'm still asleep in bed at seven A.M. everyday. I haven't  
  
gone to bed at midnight since my residency started," he pointed out, pouring a lethal  
  
amount of syrup on his plate. In the middle of chewing his first mouthful of pancakes, his  
  
pager, which was sitting on the counter, went off.  
  
" Damnbit!" cursed Kyle, his mouth still full of pancakes. Swallowing very  
  
quickly, he said, "Toss it to me." Stu lobed the pager across the island to the kitchen table  
  
where Kyle caught it with both hands.  
  
" Damn her, damn her, damn her! I swear to God I'm going to kill her."  
  
" Who? Lily?" mimicked Amy in a sing songy voice.  
  
" Who else would page me knowing that I was off for the whole week on personal  
  
leave?" he asked, glancing at the page number. 911. 5 CAR PILE. L  
  
" Can you just ignore her?" wondered Maxine.  
  
" I wish. Despite the fact she's moving out of state, she is still my current boss,  
  
which means she can both fire me and 'pass' me onto my 2nd year residency."  
  
" Would you like some coffee to take with you?" offered Maxine as Kyle stood,  
  
still in his "pajamas," a pair of workout pants and a long sleeve shirt.  
  
" I'll take a rain check. If I don't show in ten minutes she'll seriously call the cops  
  
and have them escort me in," he said with a serious look on his face.  
  
" Are you coming back later?"  
  
" I'll see," he replied as he grabbed his car keys and left. 


	19. Nothing At All

Peter yawned as he heard a tiny little voice. Looking beside the couch on which  
  
he was now seated, was Ned, dressed in a pair of dinosaur pajamas.  
  
" Daddy?"  
  
" Hey there," he said, pulling his eldest son onto his lap.  
  
" Jared awake?"  
  
" No, he's sleeping Ned. Babies need a lot of sleep."  
  
" I'm hungry."  
  
" How about Cheerios and bananas?" asked Peter.  
  
" With juice?"  
  
" With juice," he replied. Convincing his lethargic to move, Peter stood with his  
  
son and walked to the kitchen. Placing him in his high chair, he went and fixed his son's  
  
favorite breakfast. After placing it upon his tray with a spoon, Peter poured himself a cup  
  
of coffee and sat down at the table. As he sipped his coffee, he looked up across from  
  
him, expecting to see Gillian, but all he saw was an empty chair. Ned, bright in his young  
  
age, looked up from his cereal and asked,  
  
" Is Mommy coming back? Where is she? When is she coming home to take care  
  
of Jared?" Taking a deep breath, Peter turned to his son.  
  
" Ned, you know how Mommy went to the hospital to have Jared, right? Well  
  
when she was having Jared, her heart got very sick. The doctor's tried to fix her, but  
  
Mommy was too sick to be fixed. The doctor's told Daddy that Mommy was sleeping and  
  
would probably never get better. So Daddy said it was okay to let her go. Ned, sweetie,  
  
Mommy's gone now. She's with the angels in heaven."  
  
" With Grandpa Jared?"  
" Yes, she's with Grandpa Jared." With that, Peter looked away from his son,  
  
knowing that if he continued to have eye contact with him, he'd cry.  
  
Kyle was created with utter chaos as he entered the ER of St. Mike's. Patients  
  
overflowed the lobby, all in various states. Walking up to the nurse's station, he flagged  
  
down one of the nurses.  
  
" Hey Darlene. Lily paged me. Do you know where she is?"  
  
" Trauma Two. She told me to send you in A.S.A.P."  
  
" Thanks," Kyle said as he ran off to the designated trauma room. There was Lily,  
  
looking quite angry as she tried to resuscitate a man.  
  
" Where the hell have you been Kyle? I paged you."  
  
" Ten minutes ago. Considering I had to drive cross-town in morning traffic I  
  
think I made it here in record time," Kyle shot back, avoiding eye contact with her.  
  
" Get gloved up then get back over here."  
  
" Ai, Ai Captain," he muttered underneath his breath.  
  
" What was that Dr. McCarty?"  
  
" Nothing," he replied with a smile on his face. " Nothing at all." 


	20. Fight The Temptation

A few hours later, Kyle had seen the last of the accident victims. After flicking his  
  
rubber gloves into a trashcan, he made his way upstairs to the lounge where he found Lily  
  
pouring herself some coffee. If she sensed his presence, she didn't acknowledge it. She  
  
reached into the cupboard and retrieved a coffee stirrer and a pack of sugar.  
  
" Am I free to go?" Still she said nothing as she walked to a table and poured in a  
  
bit of creamer.  
  
" Hello? Lily? Are you there? Oh god. Don't tell me we're playing the 'Let's  
  
Ignore Each Other Game.' I did that in like third grade."  
  
" I suggest you remain silent and remove yourself from my premises. You have  
  
yet to "pass" your final residency review, which if I need remind you, I complete."  
  
" You wouldn't," Kyle said in dismay.  
  
" Don't put it past me," Lily replied, picking up a newspaper.  
  
" Newsflash! I believe it's illegal to falsify a review."  
  
" Look, like I said. Get out of my sight and I'll fight the temptation."  
  
" Will do. I just want you to know what you're missing," he said quickly, leaning  
  
into to kiss Lily. As soon as he was finished, he left abruptly, not giving her a chance to  
  
call him back.  
  
She felt her heart thumping rapidly in her chest. Slowly she moved her right hand  
  
to her lips, touching them as if she were checking to make sure they were real and still  
  
there. It was unbelievable, the feeling that was rising through her. She found herself  
  
longing for more, which came as a great surprise to her. She was falling for Kyle, like it  
  
or not. Despite trying so hard not to, she was failing.  
  
" Damn it Lily. What have you gotten yourself into?"  
  
It was later that night, around eight p.m. when Peter's phone rang yet again. He  
  
left Ned and a sleeping Jared watching Shrek while he got up to answer it.  
  
" Hello?"  
  
" Is Peter Gray in?"  
  
" This is he."  
  
" Mr. Gray. This is Doctor Whalen at the local pathology department."  
  
" Yes, how may I help you?" he asked, knowing full well what the man was  
  
calling for.  
  
" Your wife's autopsy has been completed. Aside from the lack of oxygen to the  
  
brain and the amount of blood loss, there were no other apparent signs of illness. Her  
  
body may be picked up for burial at your convenience. If you've decided upon a funeral  
  
home, I can contact them for you."  
  
" No, I haven't decided upon a funeral home yet. My wife just died two days ago.  
  
I've had other things on my mind."  
  
" Quite understandable. I'll leave you my number so when you do decided, I can  
  
phone the home and arrange means of transportation."  
  
" All right. I'll, I'll do that," Peter managed to get out before he hung up. Going  
  
back to his boys, he knew he couldn't spend another night in the house.  
  
" Ned, do you want to go to Grandma's house?" The two year old looked up.  
  
" Yes!"  
  
" Can you watch Jared while Daddy gets some things together?"  
  
" Uh huh." With that, Peter hurriedly began packing three bags.  
  
" Lauren, could you help me with the dishes?" asked Amy as they cleared dishes  
  
from the dining room table.  
  
" Can we make popcorn later?" she asked as she carried in the empty salad bowl.  
  
" We'll see," she replied as Kyle came bursting in through the kitchen.  
  
" Wow! That was a long time gone," commented Amy as she began snickering.  
  
"Were you and 'Lily' getting hot and heavy."  
  
" No. I was done at the hospital around noon. I've spent the remainder of my day  
  
at the Rapids contemplating whether or not to jump."  
  
" Did you and Lily get into an argument?"  
  
" No. I kissed her."  
  
" You what?" exclaimed Amy.  
  
" She told me to get out of her sight or she'd "fail" me. I called her on it. We  
  
argued. She told me if I left she'd 'resist the temptation.' I told her I would, but I wanted  
  
her to see what she was missing. Then I kissed her and left."  
  
" Well we never said you weren't bold," commented Maxine as she brought in the  
  
last of the dirty dishes.  
  
" That's true," Amy said as the doorbell rang.  
  
" Kyle, could you get that while we start the dishes?" asked Maxine.  
  
" Sure might as well," he replied as he headed for the front door. After a third  
  
ring, he opened it up, surprised to see Peter and the boys standing on the front porch.  
  
" Peter."  
  
" The morgue called. Her body. They're finished with Gillian."  
  
" That's good," he remarked in surprise.  
  
" Can you take something? I haven't gotten used to juggling two children yet,"  
  
Peter said with a laugh.  
  
" Sure," Kyle said taking Jared's car seat and diaper bag.  
  
" Thanks. Is everyone here?"  
  
" Minus Stu. Dinner just finished."  
  
" That's good," he said, following Kyle towards the kitchen.  
  
" Maxine, we have visitors," Kyle announced as he stepped into the kitchen and  
  
placed Jared's seat on the counter.  
  
" Peter? What are the three of you doing here so late at night?" questioned  
  
Maxine as she removed Ned from Peter's arms and took off his coat.  
  
" Do you mind if we stay here for awhile?" 


	21. Into The Darkness

As the next few days progressed, the funeral plans were made. The viewing  
  
would take place on Tuesday, the funeral the next Wednesday morning. Her clothes had  
  
been picked out, the songs to be played in church selected.  
  
It was the Sunday before the viewing. The whole family including Stu had  
  
gathered at the house for an extravagant turkey dinner that Maxine and Amy had created.  
  
It was strange, having the whole family gathered at once. The impact of Gillian's absence  
  
seemed to hit hard as they all sat down.  
  
" To whom do I owe the honor of cutting our turkey?" asked Maxine as she  
  
produced a rather large and sharp cutting knife.  
  
" I resign for the moment as the family turkey cutter," remarked Peter as he  
  
bottle-fed Jared.  
  
" Kyle?"  
  
" Why not?" he replied, accepting the knife from Maxine as the doorbell rang.  
  
Amy, who was closest, stood up and walked into the foyer. Opening the door, she was  
  
displeased at who she saw.  
  
" It's you. What do you want?"  
  
" I see politeness doesn't run in the family," Lily muttered.  
  
" What was that?" questioned Amy.  
  
" Nothing. Is Kyle here? I need to see him."  
  
" Why would he want to see you?" she challenged.  
  
" Because I need to leave him his residency review. Donna told me I could find  
  
him here."  
  
" You can leave it here with me. We're in the middle of dinner."  
" I'd rather," Lily started as she was interrupted by shouts in the dining room. She  
  
could detect Kyle's voice screaming something along the lines of damn it. Lauren came  
  
running into the room very quickly.  
  
" Mom! Cousin Kyle cut off his hand with the turkey knife and he's bleeding all  
  
over!!" she said in an excited rush. Amy and Lily looked at each then ran into the dining  
  
room. There sat Kyle in front of a bloodied bird, pale, with a drenched bunch of cloth  
  
wrapped around his hand.  
  
" What the hell is she doing here?" he asked, taking a deep breath.  
  
" Looks like I'm saving your life now."  
  
" Oh gag me. Amy. Do me a favor."  
  
" Yes?"  
  
" Call 911. I don't want her near me."  
  
" Look. You've got two choices. You can either let me look at your hand or bleed  
  
to death in your family's dining room. Which will it be?" challenged Lily.  
  
" The latter," replied Kyle as he started to shiver.  
  
" Kyle, you're going into shock. We need to stop the bleeding. Now are you going  
  
to cooperate or not?" Reluctantly Kyle shook his head yes.  
  
" All right. I need a huge stack of towels. Kyle, do you have your bag in your  
  
car?" questioned Lily. He nodded.  
  
" We need to get you to St. Mike's," she replied as she piled on a stack of towels,  
  
pressing down hard.  
  
" No."  
  
" Why not? You need your hand sutured, possibly by a surgeon."  
  
" Do it here."  
  
" If I do it here, I can't give you anything stronger than the Morphine in your  
  
bag."  
  
" I don't want any pain medication. You should know better."  
  
" Not even a sip of alcohol?" Lily asked as she slapped herself on the forehead.  
  
Never mind. So we're basically going to be doing this cold turkey?"  
  
" Except for a bit of topical, correct."  
  
" You're crazy," Lily said as she unpacked a suture kit.  
  
" Not to be rude," Kyle said, "but could you all leave? I have a feeling I'm going  
  
to be screaming a large string of profanities, none of which I want any of you to hear."  
  
With that, everyone filed outside onto the porch.  
  
" You sure know how to empty a room," joked Lily as she pulled on a pair of  
  
gloves.  
  
" Likewise."  
  
" So tell me. How the hell does a doctor manage to gash open his hand?"  
  
" Your guess is as good as mine."  
  
" Turn your head."  
  
" Why?"  
  
" Just turn your head," she instructed. The next thing he knew, a stabbing pain  
  
was sent through his hand. Looking down, he saw a large needle protruding out of his  
  
hand.  
  
" I told you to turn your head!" she said, removing the needle.  
  
" I'm not squeamish."  
" Then why are you green?" Changing the subject, Kyle said,  
  
" Hey, now that I've got you 'cornered' I want you to answer a question for me  
  
. Why are you so afraid of love?" Lily was silent for a few minutes as she began sewing  
  
his hand. Finally she answered.  
  
" So you want to know about the tainted love life of Lily Reddicker? Here you go.  
  
When I was ten my dad up and left one night. Five years Dave, my best friend since  
  
junior high, committed suicide. Wade, my fiancé, broke things off two years ago."  
  
" Wait! Hold up. You were engaged?"  
  
" Wade and I were in a relationship for four years. He got cold feet a month  
  
before our wedding and made off. I haven't heard from him since."  
  
" So the reason you won't get in a relationship with me is because you're afraid  
  
I'll leave you? Lily, that's stupid."  
  
" Does it hurt?" she asked, obviously changing the question.  
  
" Like hell," he replied.  
  
" You're lucky, another millimeter and there would have been definite nerve  
  
damage. I still don't know if there's minimal damage. We'll have to wait for a few days  
  
for the swelling and such. You need to get a wound check in a day or two," Lily  
  
instructed as she wrapped his hand in a thick layer of gauze.  
  
" So what was the real reason you came over here?"  
  
" To drop off your residency review," she lied, gathering up the garbage. Kyle  
  
stood, still extremely light headed and walked her to the door.  
  
" When are you leaving?" he asked.  
  
" Tomorrow morning."  
  
" So I guess this is it?"  
  
" Yeah. Nice knowing you Kyle."  
  
" You too."  
  
" Oh and by the way. Lay down. You look like you're going to pass out."  
  
" Will do," Kyle said as he watched her disappear into the darkness.  
  
" Good-bye Lily. I love you," he whispered. 


	22. Little Bo Peep

He felt all the blood suddenly rushing to his head. Immediately he found his way to the  
  
couch and sat down. It was all over. In just a few hours, she'd be in a different state.  
  
She'd be in New York; he in Connecticut and it would all be over. She had run away  
  
from him and he had yet another bit of failure in front of him. It seemed that his whole  
  
life was a failure now a days. Why was everything so messed up? Why him? Why?  
  
" DAMN YOU LILY!" he screamed aloud. After a bit, the pain consumed him  
  
and he fell into a deep sleep.  
  
Maxine wandered into the living room shortly after she saw Lily's car pull out of  
  
the driveway. There, upon the couch, was an incredibly pale and sleeping Kyle. Picking  
  
up a quilt, she walked over to him and draped it over his body. In his passed out state of  
  
sleep, he began mumbling nonsense. She began laughing to herself as she walked back  
  
out of the room and into the kitchen.  
  
Lily gripped her steering wheel tightly, her knuckles almost white. After leaving  
  
the Gray's she rushed back to her apartment where she quickly packed her car and U-  
  
Haul up. The sooner she got out of town, the better. She needed a new start. She needed  
  
to be away from him. Without the constant physical daily reminders in front of her,  
  
perhaps she could forget about Kyle. Put him in the past. A figment of her imagination.  
  
That was it. Kyle wasn't real, nor was he ever. Lily ignored the sinking feeling in her  
  
chest as she turned onto the highway. This was the perfect idea. She had to forget him.  
  
She sure as hell couldn't love him.  
  
Kyle awoke to a stabbing pain in his eyes. Prying them apart he saw bright rays of  
  
sun spilling themselves upon him. Looking down, he saw someone had covered him with  
  
a quilt sometime during the night. Lifting off the quilt, he saw his hand, which was  
  
aching with a most vicious pain. Sitting up, he made his way to the kitchen where  
  
Maxine, Peter, and Amy were sitting.  
  
" Oh good. You're up Kyle. How are you feeling?" asked Maxine.  
  
" Like I gouged my hand open with a turkey cutter," he replied, getting a glass of  
  
orange juice.  
  
" Maybe that's because you did," remarked Amy.  
  
" What did you guys eat for dinner last night? I pretty much bled over the whole  
  
entire dinner."  
  
" Kentucky Fried Chicken," quipped Peter.  
  
" That stuff clogs your arteries," remarked Kyle.  
  
" Speaking of clogging arteries, the devil woman dropped this off for you last  
  
night. I was going to give it to you then, but you had all ready passed out on the couch,"  
  
replied Maxine as she handed Kyle a plain white envelope. He took it and ripped it open.  
  
" She passed me."  
  
" Was there any doubt?" asked Amy.  
  
" It's Lily. When isn't there doubt?"  
  
" Good point."  
  
" Damn," he said suddenly, scanning to the bottom of the page.  
  
" What?"  
  
" I get to 'herd' the interns this year."  
  
" You sound as if you're going to be traveling the hallways dressed up as Little  
  
Bo Peep with a shepard's hook leading the lost 'lambs' around," joked Maxine with a  
  
laugh.  
" Okay. One. Never call me Little Bo Peep again. Two. Interns are like lost  
  
lambs."  
  
" Oh be nice Kyle. You used to be an intern."  
  
" That's a time I never want to revisit." 


	23. Manhatten

The atmosphere of Manhattan absorbed Lily as she pulled into her friend Alex's  
  
apartment building. She parked her SUV and U-Haul then jumped out of the car.  
  
Climbing up a flight of stairs, Lily found the number of Alex's apartment on a directory  
  
then got into an elevator, A few minutes later the elevator stopped on the seventh floor  
  
and Lily stepped out. Apartment 7C. She knocked on the door then waited. Seconds later  
  
she heard Alex's voice scream,  
  
" Who is it?" she asked as the door opened.  
  
" Surprise!" Lily said as she hugged Alex.  
  
" Lill, what are you doing here so soon? You weren't supposed to show until the  
  
end of the week."  
  
" Plans change," she pointed out, stepping in Alex's apartment.  
  
" Care to share?" asked Alex as she opened the fridge and produced two bottles of  
  
water.  
  
" Not exactly Ally. I just needed to get away from Connecticut as fast as  
  
possible."  
  
" You're lying Lily. I can tell. Your ears are turning beat red."  
  
" So did his," she muttered quietly.  
  
" So it's about a guy then? Tell me all about him."  
  
" There's nothing to tell."  
  
" Again you're lying."  
  
" I couldn't stay. The longer I was around him, the more I fell for him. Ally I just  
  
can't do it again. I can't fall in love."  
  
" Lily, you've got to stop being so stubborn and stop living in the past. Just  
  
because your dad, Dave, and Wade left you doesn't mean you have to miserable and  
  
single the rest of your life. Do you think Dave and Wade would want you to be like this?"  
  
" No."  
  
" Hey, do you want to head over to Sloan then get a bite to eat afterwards? Dr.  
  
Marshall is very eager to meet you."  
  
" Sounds good. Do you mind if I borrow a change of clothes? My are all locked  
  
up in the U-Haul."  
  
" You brought a U-Haul?" exclaimed Alex.  
  
" I'm not going to be living with you forever!"  
  
He felt the eyes upon him as he entered St. Mike's. He knew they knew about he  
  
and Lily and the kiss. He wanted to tell them to stop staring, but something inside him  
  
held him back. He wanted their minds to wander. He wanted the romance there.  
  
" Hey Dar. Who's on triage today?"  
  
" Mike Ambrose."  
  
" Do you know if he's available?"  
  
" He should be finishing up in Exam Three if you'd like to go and find him."  
  
" Thanks Dar," Kyle said as he walked down the hallway. He found his fellow  
  
colleague and "work-friend" Mike Ambrose cleaning up in Exam Three.  
  
" Hey Mike."  
  
" Kyle, what are you doing here? I thought you took a personal leave."  
  
" I did. I'm not here for professional business, but medical."  
  
" What's up?"  
  
" I gouged my hand open with a turkey cutter last night," he said as he unwrapped  
  
the thick layer of bandages and gauze.  
  
" Damn! That's wicked," he said, motioning for Kyle to sit down.  
  
" You're telling me. The damn thing bled all over the turkey."  
  
" Who sutured it? They did a pretty good job."  
  
" Lily."  
  
" She wasn't working last night, was she?"  
  
" No. She stopped by at my cousin's."  
  
" Yeah right. Did you get any action?"  
  
" Other than her telling me it was nice to know me, no."  
  
" Sounds like the same old Lily," joked Mike.  
  
" So is she there?"  
  
" Yeah. She called Darlene about an hour ago to tell her she was in Manhattan."  
  
" Oh."  
  
" Admit it to me. You're falling for Lily. Why don't you go after her?"  
  
" Because every time I try, she runs away."  
  
Lily was amazed at the size of Sloan Kettering. It made St. Mike's look like a  
  
broom closet.  
  
" Big, isn't it?" asked Alex.  
  
" How do you manage to not get lost?"  
  
" I've worked here for five years Lill and I still get lost."  
  
" Oh thanks. You're making me feel a lot better!" joked Lily as Alex led her  
  
inside a side door.  
  
" There are fifteen floors. Level one is the ER and ER X-Ray. Level Two is the  
  
ICU and Cardiac ICU. Level Three is the Pediatric Ward complete with the Pediatric  
  
ICU. Level Four is the OB/GYN/Maternal Ward, complete with birthing centers,  
  
nurseries, and PICU. Level Five is the cancer ward. Level Six is the Cardiac Specialty  
  
floor. Levels Seven and Eight are operating floors. Level Nine is the Orthopedics floor.  
  
Level Ten is the X-RAY/Rehab Gym/Therapy level. There are also offices on Level Ten.  
  
Level Eleven contains the Psychology floor, complete with suicide ward. Level Twelve is  
  
the internal medicine floor. Thirteen is combined with the Lab and Advanced Research.  
  
Fourteen is composed of offices and such. The basement contains the morgue/path lab.  
  
The cafeteria is on the first floor as well."  
  
" You're kidding me."  
  
" No."  
  
" St. Mike's had five floors and a combined ICU."  
  
" That's crazy," Alex said, as she and Lily stepped into an elevator leading to the  
  
West Wing of Floor Fourteen. Upon landing, Lily stepped out into a newly painted,  
  
newly tiled floor. Opened doors lined the curving hallway. Lily glanced inside them,  
  
shocked at the lavishness of the offices. Hell her office at St. Mike's was the size of a  
  
broom closet, just big enough for a small table and chair.  
  
" Cara, I need to find Dr. Marshall. Is he in his office?"  
  
" Yes, Dr. Keeling. He is."  
  
" Thanks Cara," Alex said, turning to Lily.  
  
" Ready for this?"  
  
" As I'll ever be," answered Lily, assuming Dr. Marshall would be an intimidating  
  
older man with balding hair. Alex stopped in front of a door with the name, "Dr. Kenny  
  
Marshall.  
  
" Who is it?"  
  
" Alex Keeling."  
  
" Dr. Keeling, enter," said a deep male voice. Alex opened the door.  
  
" Dr. Marshall, I'd like for you to meet Lily Reddicker, the new attending you  
  
hired." Dr. Marshall turned around, revealing a man in his late thirties.  
  
" Lily, nice to meet you."  
  
" You too Dr. Marshall."  
  
" So are you up for the challenge?"  
  
" Challenge? Of working in a hospital like this? Dr., where I came from I  
  
managed a five floor inner-city hospital that had more gang bangers daily than downtown  
  
NYC. Challenges are few and far between for me. You give it to me, I can guarantee I've  
  
seen it one time or another at St. Mike's."  
  
" Well then. How about we start your orientation tomorrow then?" 


	24. White Lisianthuses

He twirled the cigarette between his fingers, stopping to light it. The way his  
  
nerves were going, he'd have to stop at the drugstore to pick up another pack of  
  
cigarettes. He needed to find a solution soon, or he'd be using his paycheck to feed his  
  
habit. It would all just be much more simpler if she would just move back. If she moved  
  
back, they could work through it together. He needed her. But how was he going to  
  
convince her? Throwing his cigarette butt to the curb and stomping on in, Kyle decided  
  
there was only one thing to do.  
  
" You don't have to do this Ma," Peter insisted as they drove to the local Target.  
  
" Peter, I want to spoil my grandsons if that's all right with you. Since they'll need  
  
living with us for a bit, I think they need some things to get settled in."  
  
" Spoiling doesn't include a crib and 'layette'," he pointed out.  
  
" I can define spoiling however the hell I want to Peter. Now be quiet and get  
  
your son out of the car seat," she instructed as they pulled into the parking lot.  
  
Kyle found himself knocking on his apartment door, having left his key in his  
  
jeans back at Maxine's.  
  
" Hold your pants on!" screamed Donna as he kept knocking. She finally yanked  
  
open the door, her daughter sitting in her arms.  
  
" Kyle, why are you knocking?" she asked as he stepped inside.  
  
" Because I left my keys in my pants at Maxine's."  
  
" You do know that I replaced the key in the pot?"  
  
" It's not there," he replied sheepishly.  
  
" Where did it go?"  
  
" I'd rather not disclose that information at the moment."  
" Men! So what are you doing home?"  
  
" I need relationship advice."  
  
" Oh no. Which one now?"  
  
" Lily."  
  
" Lily. The Lily you said you'd rather kill yourself over than spend time with  
  
Lily?"  
  
" Yes. I like her Donna. I like her a lot. I know for a fact she shares the same  
  
feelings, but she has this thing."  
  
" What kind of thing?"  
  
" Every man she's loved in her life has basically up and left. So naturally she  
  
says she doesn't want to get into a relationship with me because she's scared I'll leave  
  
her. I don't know how to show her that I'm not lying."  
  
" Let her know you care and you know what she wants."  
  
" How do I do that?"  
  
" Show her you know things about her that are important."  
  
" Such as?"  
  
" Send her flowers. What's her favorite?"  
  
" White Lisianthus."  
  
" White what?"  
  
" Lisianthus. I heard her mention them in passing awhile back," he said.  
  
" Then send her a dozen White Lisianthuses."  
  
" Donna, you're the best!" Kyle replied as he picked up the phone and dialed.  
  
" Hi. I'd like to send some flowers. Where? Manhattan, New York. Do you have a  
  
listing for an Alex Keeling? You do? Please send a dozen White Lisianthuses to her  
  
address for a Lily Reddicker. The card? Leave it blank. $25.00? I'll be paying with a Visa  
  
card.." 


	25. Worn Carpenter's Jeans and A Buttoned Do...

The feeling of grief and silence swept over the Gray house as Monday came about.  
  
Everyone sat silently around the island, drinking coffee. It seemed as if the funeral was  
  
taking place in their kitchen. Kyle had come from his apartment baring Starbucks, which  
  
was Donna's contribution. Peter had just awakened when no sooner did the doorbell ring.  
  
" Could somebody get that?" shouted Maxine from upstairs as Jared began crying.  
  
Amy was trying her best to feed Ned while Stu was discussing a heated case on his cell  
  
phone.  
  
" Can I answer it Mom?" asked Lauren.  
  
" Finish your breakfast," she ordered as the bell rang again.  
  
" WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE GET THE DOOR?" screamed an annoyed  
  
Maxine. Putting down his cup of coffee, Kyle stood and walked into the foyer. He nearly  
  
fell over from shock when he saw who was on the other side. Standing in worn  
  
carpenter's jeans and a button down shirt was Vincent. The same Vincent he hadn't seen  
  
for fifteen years.  
  
" Holy shit! Is that you Vince?" asked Kyle as Vincent stood, looking equally  
  
shocked.  
  
" Who the hell are you?"  
  
" You've got to be kidding me. Come on. Think back to when you were  
  
sixteen."  
  
" Ohmigod. Kyle? Never thought that I'd live to see the day where you showed  
  
up."  
  
" I've been back for almost two years."  
  
" Where were you?"  
  
" Nowhere that you need to know about now. So what are you doing here?"  
  
" Amy called me. I was passing through on my way to New York and thought I'd  
  
stop. Where is everyone?"  
  
" In the kitchen. Maxine's upstairs doing who knows what," Kyle said as he led  
  
Vincent to the kitchen.  
  
" Guess who I found on the front porch?"  
  
" Lily?" chorused the whole family.  
  
" Whose Lily?" asked Vincent as he stepped out.  
  
" VINCENT!" squealed Amy as she dropped Ned's spoon to the counter. Lauren  
  
stopped in mid bite, while Peter sat with Jared, shocked.  
  
" Shh. I don't want Mom to know I'm here."  
  
" How long are you here?" whispered Amy.  
  
" A few hours at the most. I'm on my way to NYC to talk with my publisher."  
  
" That's great. Mom will be so excited," Peter said as Jared began squirming.  
  
" So is this my new nephew?"  
  
" Yes."  
  
" He's beautiful Peter. Looks just like."  
  
" Like Gillian," whispered Peter. The room was silent.  
  
" I think I'm going to go find Mom," announced Vincent as he headed up the  
  
back stairs. A few moments later, the group heard Maxine's happy, shrill scream.  
  
" Think he caught her in the shower?" asked Peter.  
  
" Probably in the middle of doing her facial," muttered Amy. 


	26. Slower Than The Last

After talking with the family for a few hours, Vincent made his way to the back  
  
porch where Kyle was sitting.  
  
" So what's eating you man? You're so uptight."  
  
" That's good of you to analyze me."  
  
" You're welcome. So what's your problem? Does it have to do with that Lily  
  
person Mom and Amy kept talking about?"  
  
" It doesn't matter anymore. She's gone. I loved her. She loved me. She ran away.  
  
End of story."  
  
" So you're just giving up? The Kyle I knew never gave up."  
  
" Vince, the Kyle you knew doesn't exist."  
  
" And why is that?"  
  
" I've been through what most can only imagine."  
  
" Such as?"  
  
" None of your damn business."  
  
" So. What are you going to do about this Lily woman?"  
  
" Nothing. She moved to Manhattan."  
  
" Manhattan you say? Well what a coincidence. I happen to be heading to New  
  
York City."  
  
" I can hear the wheels turning. What exactly are you cooking up?"  
  
" Well.. here's my plan."  
  
" Bye Vincent. See you soon," shouted Amy.  
  
" Bye sis. Stu, take care of my sister for me."  
  
" Will do."  
  
" Bye Uncle Vincent," Lauren said with a smile.  
  
" Bye Lauren."  
  
" Bye baby brother," said Peter.  
  
" Bye yourself," replied Vincent.  
  
" Let me know how the you know what goes," said Kyle as he laughed.  
  
" You two boys aren't scheming together like you used to?" questioned Maxine.  
  
" It's a long story that we wish not divulge," explained Vincent as he hugged his  
  
mother good-bye and got into the car.  
  
Lily felt extremely overwhelmed as she stepped into Sloan Kettering by herself.  
  
Alex had left at eight for her morning shift, promising to be waiting when her noon shift  
  
started. Taking the elevator Alex had instructed her to, Lily rode up to Dr. Marshall's  
  
office. Knocking upon his door, the same smooth and authority-ridden voice he had  
  
spoken with yesterday rang out,  
  
" Come in." Lily opened the door. There sat Kenny dressed in a dark blue dress  
  
shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a pair of khakis. She was taken aback  
  
of how handsome he was.  
  
" Ah. Dr. Reddicker. See I didn't scare you off."  
  
" Call me Lily."  
  
" All right then. Lily. Are you ready to dive into the craziness?"  
  
" Sounds good. Just let me change into something a little more natural for me,"  
  
she said with a laugh, looking down at her slacks and dress shirt.  
  
" Go ahead. Alex has all ready thrown a few pairs of 'greens' back for you in your  
  
office. You'll find your lab coat hanging in your closet."  
  
" Thanks," Lily replied as she walked down the hall to her office. She stood in the  
  
doorway looking shocked. Sitting there upon her desk was a vase filled with beautiful  
  
White Lisianthuses. Who sent her flowers? Who knew? Who cared enough to know her  
  
favorite kind? Picking up the card, she saw that it was blank.  
  
'That's just great. Somebody takes the time to send me my favorite flowers, but  
  
they have to be mysterious. Just great,' she thought as she slipped into a set of scrubs and  
  
her lab coat. As she slung her stethoscope around her neck, memories of St. Mike's came  
  
flooding back. Her first day. Her first lost. Seeing Kyle for the first time. The feeling that  
  
came over her when she knew that she had feelings for him. Kissing him. Him telling her  
  
good-bye. The kiss in the lounge. The incredible surge of energy she felt between the two  
  
of them that night before she left. Could he have been the one to send her flowers?  
  
*********  
  
The day crept by slowly, each minute moving slower than the last. After what  
  
seemed like ages, the Gray family slowly began getting ready for the somber occasion  
  
that night. By five o'clock, they were all dressed and sitting in the limo provided by the  
  
funeral home. Peter, frail, unshaven, and pale, sat beside Maxine, his eyes closed, holding  
  
her hand. Ned and Jared sat sandwiched between Kyle and Lauren, while Amy and Stu  
  
sat facing all. The humming of the tires provided the only sound as they drove down the  
  
road.  
  
Peter felt his heart pounding repeatedly as the limo pulled into the funeral home.  
  
He hadn't seen his wife for a week. He hadn't seen her since before. Could he do it?  
  
Could he look at his dead wife? Could he stand in front of her casket for hours on end  
  
listening to all the false people tell him how sorry they are and that they know how he  
  
felt? The truth was that the majority of them DID NOT know what it felt like exactly to  
  
have their wife ripped out of their hands suddenly, leaving him a widower with two infant  
  
sons.  
  
" Son, it's time," whispered Maxine as the rest of the family filed out into the  
  
empty parking lot. He knew that within half an hour it would be crowded. Taking a deep  
  
breath, Peter stepped out and looked up at the sky.  
  
" Gill, give me strength. Give me strength to get through this." 


	27. Rapidly Falling

She felt a sense of sheer exhaustion come over her as she sat down for a brief  
  
minute in the Sloan Kettering ER. The size of the complex overwhelmed her. While the  
  
chaos of St. Mike's consumed her, the chaos she was greeted with at Sloan was  
  
unbelievable. Patient after patient filed through the ER, mostly un-severe. It was strange,  
  
not having a slew of gang bangers and other obscene traumas flowing. Instead she was  
  
faced with the snooty New York upper class, including the three women that had come in  
  
with Botox infections. St. Mike's made Sloan look like child's play. Feeling her pager  
  
vibrating, Lily pulled it off her belt loop. 'L GT O. K.' Lily laughed at the abbreviations  
  
she had grown used to since she was a doctor. Wondering why Kenny wanted her in her  
  
office puzzled her as she took the elevator upstairs. When she reached her office, a  
  
flabbergasted Kenny stood outside laughing.  
  
" What is it?" she asked.  
  
" Go inside and find out!" he said, prompting Lily to walk into her office, which  
  
was filled with White Lisianthuses. A man looking vaguely familiar stood in the middle  
  
of them holding a clipboard.  
  
" WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHY IS MY OFFICE STUFFED FULL  
  
OF FLOWERS?"  
  
" Whoah whoah. A feisty one. He warned me."  
  
" Who warned you?"  
  
" My customer, the man who ordered me to deliver all of these flowers and this,"  
  
he answered, producing an envelope. With that he began walking out.  
  
" Wait! Hello? Answer my question. Who's your customer that keeps sending me  
  
flowers?"  
  
" That's for me to know and you to find out." Lily screamed in frustration as she  
  
tore open the letter. Written in a man's scrawl was the following,  
  
Rapidly  
  
Falling  
  
Towards love  
Tempted by you  
  
Unexplainable  
This force  
Pulling on my heart  
Is it love?  
  
Overwhelming  
My feelings  
Wondering if  
You share them too  
  
Unsure  
of the future  
But certain  
Right here  
As long as I'm breathing, I'll think of you  
  
Lily clutched the poem to her heart as the aroma of flowers met her nostrils. It  
  
couldn't be. Kyle. Would he? Did he? It wasn't exactly his style, sappy poetry, but then  
  
again. Her heart beat rapidly as he came into her mind for the upteenth time. She was  
  
starting to feel like a teenager all over again. Lusting over a man she was in love with. 


	28. GoodBye To You

Surrounded by his family and sons, Peter stepped into Gillian's room. At the far  
  
end her casket sat, a rich mahogany color. He already knew what she was wearing; he  
  
had picked it out earlier in the week. A tan print pheasant top with a pair of black slacks  
  
It had been her favorite outfit. Breaking away from his family, Peter stepped forward and  
  
got his first look at his wife. Her body was unnaturally still, her hands folded in a fake  
  
pose. He felt a deep pain as he glanced upon her once exuberant face, now plain and  
  
plastered in fake looking, caked make-up; none of which Gillian would wear. Turning to  
  
his family, tears in his eyes, Peter asked,  
  
" Would you all mind if I spent some time with my wife?"  
  
" Of course not. Take all the time you need," replied Maxine, "We'll take care of  
  
the boys." With that, everyone left, the room now empty minus him and his wife's body.  
  
" So this is it Gill. This is good-bye for real."  
  
Kyle paced back and forth nervously, awaiting Vincent's call, signaling that  
  
everything went as planned. It had to. He was oblivious to the others as he paced pack  
  
and forth repeatedly across the carpet.  
  
" You're going to wear a hole in that," commented Maxine who was feeding  
  
Jared. Kyle stopped pacing long enough to turn around.  
  
" Why are you pacing?" asked Lauren.  
  
" I'm waiting for an important phone call."  
  
" From a certain son of mine named Vincent? I knew you two were scheming. So  
  
what is this scheme all about?"  
  
" It's not a scheme," stated Kyle in an over defensive tone.  
  
" So you are scheming! What about?" Maxine asked.  
  
" NOTHING!" he said, half screaming.  
  
" Ma, leave off of it," spoke Amy as Kyle's phone rang.  
  
" Hello? You did? What was the reaction? That's good. Is everything taken care  
  
of? Thanks. I've got to go. I'll call back later," he said, hanging up his cell-phone.  
  
Hours later, after the last visitor had left, the entire family gathered one last time  
  
to see Gillian.  
  
" I wanted to have everyone put something special in with Gillian so she knows  
  
how much we love her." Lauren stepped forward and pulled a piece of paper out of a  
  
pocket in her skirt. It was a poem she had written. After reading it, she placed it in the  
  
casket and filed back to where Amy was sitting. Kyle stood and walked to the front, a  
  
manila envelope clutched in his injured hand.  
  
" Peter, I remember the day I told Gillian that she was pregnant. I've never seen  
  
her smile so big. She hugged me so hard I thought she was going to break my ribcage. A  
  
few days ago, right after she died, I contacted your doctor to get what I have in this  
  
envelope. I thought it would be extremely fitting to place a picture of her first sonogram  
  
with her." Kyle slipped the envelope in with her then turned to Peter who gave him a hug  
  
similar to the one Gillian had once given him  
  
" Thank you for giving my wife happiness."  
  
Finally it was time for Peter to share what he was going to place in the casket.  
  
" I have a few things. Ned colored a picture earlier of the four of us. I told him I'd  
  
give it to Mommy for him," he said as he put the picture beside Gillian.  
  
" I wanted her to know that Jared loved her too, so I made a hand print poster of  
  
the two of them. It was always Gillian's dream to have two perfect boys and she does."  
  
Peter felt the tears welling up in his eyes as he prepared for what he was about to do.  
" The day Gillian and I were married we made a promise to each other as does  
  
every couple. We promised to honor each other, through sick and health, till death do us  
  
part. Unfortunately, I envisioned us as the stereo typical 'old married couple,' sitting on  
  
the front porch in rocking chairs, talking about our great grandkids. I feel that I have  
  
honored my promise to my beautiful wife. It's a shame we never got to do all the things  
  
we counted on doing together. I wish I could go back and do it all over again. Instead of  
  
working late, I could have spent more time with her decorating the nursery. We could  
  
have done lots of things, but we can't dwell on the past. Gillian and I exchanged rings  
  
with each other so we could express our marriage. Gillian and I never took off our rings  
  
For those keenly observing you would have noticed that Gillian doesn't have her  
  
wedding ring on. Gill, I want you to know that I'll go on loving you. I want you to watch  
  
over us every step of the way and keep you in my heart, which is why I'm removing  
  
this," Peter said as he slid the gold band off his ring finger. He placed it carefully on her  
  
cold, lifeless finger. As the tears began to steadily pour over, Peter extracted another ring  
  
from his pocket. This one, however, hung on a chain.  
  
" I will wear Gillian's wedding ring around my neck to remind me of all of the  
  
memories we shared and those we won't get to share."  
  
It feels like  
  
I'm starting all over again  
  
The last three years  
  
Were just pretend  
  
And I said  
  
"Goodbye to you  
  
Goodbye to everything  
  
I thought I knew  
  
You were the one I loved  
  
The one thing that  
  
I tried to hold on to" -Michelle Branch, Good-bye To You 


	29. Before It's Too Late

The next day passed in a rush. He vaguely remembered the words the minister  
  
had spoken about Gillian. The eulogy Amy and his mother had delivered seemed like a  
  
figment of his imagination. Watching Kyle, Bruce, Stu and all of the other pallbearers  
  
carry her casket from the church. Now he was sitting in the limousine, frozen. They had  
  
arrived at the cemetery a few minutes ago. He could see the waiting hole where they  
  
would place his wife. Her tombstone was gleaming so brightly it was as if it was shouting  
  
at him. White chairs were lined up in rows, filled with black clad mourners. The minister  
  
was waiting.  
  
" Son, you have to do this. You can't stay in this limo for ever," pointed out  
  
Maxine.  
  
" If I get out, then they have to carry her casket to her grave. Then after the  
  
minister utters those false words, they'll lower her into the ground. If I don't get out,  
  
none of that will happen. She won't be buried. I won't have to watch her disappear."  
  
" Peter, I know you don't want this to happen. I was the exact same way with  
  
your father and Jared. I thought if I stayed in the limo that I'd never have to say good-  
  
bye. I thought I could freeze time and keep the burial from happening, but it didn't work.  
  
Son, it's okay that you don't want to say good-bye, but burying her is something you  
  
have to do. You may not like it, but you have to do it. You have to let her go on."  
  
" But if I bury her, then she's gone forever."  
  
" Goodness gracious no she isn't. Just because she's being laid to rest doesn't  
  
mean she'll be gone forever."  
  
" Mom, I'm afraid."  
  
" Afraid of what?"  
  
" That I'll forget everything about her."  
  
Kyle watched as Gillian's casket was lowered into the ground. He felt sadness fall  
  
upon him as he glanced over at Peter who was sobbing in Maxine's arms. He could only  
  
imagine how his cousin felt, losing the one he loved forever. If he was in that situation,  
  
he didn't know what he'd do. It was proof that life didn't last forever and neither did  
  
love. As they always did, Kyle felt his thoughts shift to Lily. He put himself into Peter's  
  
shoes, imagining what he'd feel like if he never got to tell her how he truly felt about her.  
  
There was no guarantee that he'd ever see her again. He'd never be able to forgive  
  
himself if he never got to admit to her what he was feeling. He had to let her know. It was  
  
time to give up the act. He had to let her know.  
  
Everyone was gathered underneath a large oak tree, waiting for the limo to pull  
  
around when Kyle ran up to them.  
  
" Where's the fire?" asked Maxine.  
  
" Look, I'm sorry, but there's someplace I have to be."  
  
" Where?" asked Amy.  
  
" I have to go to Manhattan and let her know how I feel. This is a sign. I need to  
  
let her know before it's too late. I don't want something like this to happen and for me to  
  
not be able to tell her how I truly feel," he said in a rush.  
  
" Well then, what are you waiting for?" asked Peter as he stuck his arm out and  
  
hailed a passing cab. Kyle hopped in and proceeded to give the driver the address for his  
  
apartment.  
  
" Peter, son, that was a very nice thing to do," pointed out Maxine.  
  
" I didn't want him to be in my shoes. He should admit his feelings to Lily before  
  
it's too late and he can't. I don't want him to regret it."  
  
" Peter, you make me more proud to be your mother day by day." 


	30. Down The Road

He jumped out of the taxi, shoving a twenty at the man, telling him to keep the  
  
change. Taking the steps two at a time, he hurried to his apartment and threw the door  
  
open. He tore off his tie, throwing it on the couch along with his dress shirt and jacket.  
  
Taking his black suitcase out of the hall closet, he made his way to his room. Quickly he  
  
pulled on pants and a shirt then began tossing things into the suitcase. Pants, shirts,  
  
sweatshirts, coat, socks, shoes. His car keys weighed heavy in his pocket as he headed to  
  
the kitchen in search of a pad of paper. Upon finding one, he scrawled on it,  
  
" GOING TO MANHATTAN." Picking up his cell phone and the suitcase, he  
  
went out the door and hurried to the parking lot where he got into his SUV. The quicker  
  
he got there, the quicker he could get the whole thing over with. Turning out onto the  
  
street, Kyle flicked on the radio, ready to make the long trip.  
  
Peter felt like a child as he sat at his mother's counter. A plate of casserole sat in  
  
front of him, one of the many types that random strangers had brought. She had fixed it  
  
up for him, salting it and such. He had even caught her trying to cut it up in tiny little  
  
pieces, but he put a stop to that. Now he sat alone. His sons were with Amy, Stu, and  
  
Lauren in the backyard. Maxine was playing hostess to all those "mourning" Gillian.  
  
Peter found himself laughing. Mourning was such a screwed up word. Everything was  
  
screwed up. Life. His emotions. His thoughts. Everything.  
  
" What the hell do you think you're doing?" were the first words he heard when  
  
he picked up his cell phone.  
  
" Going to Manhattan."  
  
" Well thanks genius. Like I didn't read that in the note you left. What are you  
  
doing?"  
  
" I just answered that Donna."  
  
" I mean, what possessed you to drive to Manhattan?"  
  
" Look, I really don't feel like this right now. I'm driving down the interstate in  
  
butt to butt traffic. I'll call you back later." With that, Kyle hung up. Picking up the bottle  
  
of Pepsi he had just bought at the gas station, he took a long swig and continued on down  
  
the road. 


	31. Assault With An Iron

Four hours later he was in the heart of NYC. He drove until he found the street  
  
address Vincent had phoned him with. Parking in a nearby parking garage, Kyle walked  
  
to Vincent's hotel and went inside.  
  
" May I have a room listening for a Vincent Gray?"  
  
" Room 305 sir. You can take the elevators over there."  
  
" Thanks," Kyle muttered as he headed for the elevators where he punched the  
  
number 3 upon getting inside. After a short stop on the second floor for a tall woman  
  
dressed in a bathing suit, he was at the third floor. Going five doors to the right, he found  
  
Vincent's room and knocked.  
  
" Vince, you in there?" Giving the door a little push, Kyle was surprised to find it  
  
was opened. Carefully he stepped in, grabbing the large iron from a shelf in the closet.  
  
Creeping along ever so quietly, Kyle became still when he heard footsteps. Whirling  
  
around he launched the iron at the person's head. Immediately the person fell to the  
  
ground, moaning.  
  
" Kyle! YOU DUMBASS! It's me."  
  
" Oh my god. Vincent. Don't move. You're bleeding."  
  
" What would you expect if someone hit you in the head with an iron?" he  
  
challenged as Kyle stood and retrieved a stack of towels. With a considerable amount of  
  
pressure he pressed them to Vincent's forehead.  
  
" This is pretty deep. You're going to need stitches."  
  
" Great."  
  
" You may have a concussion too. We need to get you to a hospital."  
  
" You're not to like where we have to go."  
  
" Why? Is it worse than St. Mike's?"  
  
" No. Nothing like that."  
  
" Then what's the problem?"  
  
" The closest hospital is Sloan Kettering."  
  
" Sir, can I help you?" asked a nurse as Kyle ushered Vincent to the front nurse's  
  
station of Sloan Kettering's ER.  
  
" My cousin got hit in the head with an iron. We couldn't stop the bleeding."  
  
" No problem. What's your name sir?"  
  
" His or mine?"  
  
" The patient."  
  
" Vince Grey."  
  
" Mr. Grey, you can come with me. Sir, you can take a seat in the waiting room."  
  
" Dr. Reddicker. You have a patient in Curtain 3. Head wound and possible  
  
concussion."  
  
" Thanks Corinne," Lily said as she walked to Curtain 3 and pulled it back.  
  
" I'm Dr." she trailed off as she looked at her patient.  
  
" YOU!" both Vincent and Lily exclaimed in unison.  
  
" Who the hell keeps sending me flowers?" she demanded as she pulled on a set  
  
of gloves.  
  
" Customer salesmen confidentiality."  
  
" So what happened to your head?"  
  
" I had a little run in with an iron."  
  
" One of your customers hit you in the head?" she questioned.  
" Something like that."  
  
" You're going to need stitches," Lily declared after mopping the blood off of  
  
Vincent's forehead."  
  
" Do I have a concussion?"  
  
" Probably, but I want to get a head CT just in case. You going anywhere anytime  
  
soon?"  
  
" Not that I know of."  
  
Forty-five minutes later, Vincent found himself back in the ER with Lily.  
  
" You most definitely have a concussion. It's mild, but I want to make sure of it.  
  
Did someone bring you in?"  
  
" My cousin. Why?"  
  
" You'll need to be under close watch in case there are any complications. I need  
  
to explain to your cousin what signs to watch for. Corrine could you get Mr. Grey's  
  
cousin from the waiting room?"  
  
" Yes Dr."  
  
" Don't say I didn't warn you," muttered Vincent as Corrine walked out.  
  
" What was that?" asked Lily.  
  
" You'll see." Vincent replied as Corrine popped her head back in. Lily had her  
  
back to the curtain as she filled out a prescription.  
  
" Mr. Grey's cousin is here Dr."  
  
" Thank you Corrine."  
  
Kyle felt chills send down his spine. That voice. HER voice. It was her. Lily. The  
  
reason he was in Manhattan.  
  
" Dr. Reddicker, meet my cousin." Lily slowly turned around and nearly fainted.  
  
There, standing within a hand's reach was Kyle.  
  
" You're. he's.. he's your cousin?" she stammered as her heart began  
  
pounding faster.  
  
" Lily," he simply said, attempting to step closer. As her heart practically leapt out  
  
of her chest, Lily backed up, hurriedly gathering up her papers.  
  
" Corrine, discharge this patient immediately. I. I need to catch some air." With  
  
that, Lily rushed out of the exam room and to the nearest exit with Kyle close behind. 


	32. Something Constant

" Lily, wait up!" Kyle shouted as he chased her down a hallway. Stopping  
  
suddenly she said,  
  
" Kyle don't do this. Not here. Please."  
  
" Why not here Lily?"  
  
" Because."  
  
" Because why? Because you don't want your new little "rich" friends to know  
  
that you actually have feelings and you're not the Ice Bitch you come off as?"  
  
" Look. Kyle. This isn't the place or the time," she declared as a small crowd  
  
started to gather, including Alex and Kenny.  
  
" When would be a good place or time? Cause as far as I'm concerned, this isn't  
  
over."  
  
" What do you want me to tell you?!"  
  
" The truth would be nice Lily."  
  
" You want to know the truth Kyle? I'm in love with you," she screamed as she  
  
ran for the elevators.  
  
Kyle stood in disbelief as he watched Lily storm off towards the elevators.  
  
Vincent walked up behind him, looking dumbfounded.  
  
" What just happened?" he asked, a quizzical look on his face.  
  
" She just told me she loved me."  
  
" Lily! Wait up!" screamed Alex as Lily headed down the hallway into her office.  
  
" Ally. Please. Leave me alone," she said as she held back the tears.  
  
" Lil, no way am I leaving you alone right now, so you might as well tell me what  
  
the hell is going on."  
" That was him."  
  
" Him? The him?"  
  
" Yes. Him."  
  
" Then why are you so upset? You just told him what you said you've been  
  
wanting to tell him."  
  
" Because Ally. I'm so confused right now. I know I have feelings for him, but  
  
I'm still apprehensive. How do I give my heart to a guy that might break it?"  
  
" You just have to commit to it Lily. You never know until you try."  
  
" Ally, he's a recovering alcoholic and addict. I can't risk it."  
  
" Yes you can Lil. He's recovering, meaning that he's not using. He needs  
  
something constant in his life, and that could be you."  
  
" What do I do now Vince?" Kyle asked as they roamed down the streets of  
  
Manhattan.  
  
" I don't know what to tell you."  
  
" You're a lot of good."  
  
" I think the best thing to do is give her some time and space. Go back home and  
  
let things lay low for a few weeks."  
  
" That's great advice Vince," said Kyle as they turned a corner.  
  
" Thanks."  
  
" I was being sarcastic."  
  
" She needs time to sort things out man. Believe me," Vincent said with a laugh. 


	33. Smoking

It was five thirty the next morning when he pulled onto the road. The city was  
  
quiet as he drove out of it. His heart felt broken in a million pieces as he passed Sloan  
  
Kettering, knowing she was inside. Over and over he told himself it was the right thing to  
  
do. It was the best thing for the both of them.  
  
About twenty miles outside of Hartford he picked up his cell phone and dialed the  
  
hospital. He needed to keep busy and work to him was the only suggestion. He couldn't  
  
wait around for her to come begging on his doormat.  
  
" Darlene, it's Kyle."  
  
" Kyle, where the hell are you? We've been paging you since last night."  
  
" Did something happen?" Kyle asked, his thoughts shifting to Amy and the rest  
  
of the family.  
  
" Tony Rosario wants to speak with you. He says it's extremely important." Tony  
  
Rosario. The Chief of Staff?  
  
" Can you patch me through to his office Darlene?"  
  
" Sure can."  
  
A few seconds later Tony Rosario's voice answered the phone.  
  
" Hello?"  
  
" Dr. Rosario, Kyle McCarty."  
  
" Kyle. Where have you been? Why haven't you been answering your pages?"  
  
" Long story. So what's going on?"  
  
" I need to speak with you as soon as possible. Can you be here by 9:00?" Kyle  
  
looked down at the clock on his dashboard. It read 8:45.  
  
" Sure," he said warily.  
  
" Great. See you in a bit."  
  
Kyle felt his heart pounding in his chest as his caught his breath in the elevator.  
  
After parking in the parking lot at 8:58 he had dead sprinted to the elevators, which left  
  
him gasping for air.  
  
" I gotta quit smoking," he told himself as the doors opened up and his watch  
  
chimed at nine. He jogged down the hallway and was met by Tony.  
  
" Kyle. Great to see you."  
  
" You too sir."  
  
" I bet you're wondering why you're here."  
  
" Yes, in fact I am."  
  
"You passed your residency review, correct?"  
  
" Yes."  
  
" I'm going to make this plain and simple. We're giving you the Chief Residency.  
  
All of the outside options didn't have what you have."  
  
" Did I just hear you right?"  
  
" Yes you did Dr. Any questions?"  
  
" When do I start?"  
  
Vincent had just woken up at 9:30 when an insistent knock sounded on his door.  
  
" HOLD ON!" he shouted as he pulled on a shirt and a pair of lounge pants. As he  
  
rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, he opened the door to find Lily standing on the other  
  
side.  
  
" What do you want?" he asked, irritated at the fact that he got out of bed for her.  
  
" Where is he?"  
  
" Who?"  
  
" Your cousin!"  
  
" Kyle?"  
  
" Yes Kyle."  
  
" You're too late."  
  
" What do you mean I'm too late?"  
  
" He left for Hartford this morning."  
  
Amy and Maxine sat at the kitchen table sipping cups of coffee by themselves.  
  
The quietness was great. Stu had been called into the office and Lauren, Peter, Ned, and  
  
Jared had head off to the park to feed the ducks a few minutes ago.  
  
" So when are you returning to work?" questioned Maxine.  
  
" The beginning of next week I think. I need to go in to get some paperwork done  
  
so I guess I'll find out then. How about you?"  
  
" Probably next Wednesday. I don't want to leave Peter by himself so soon,"  
  
Maxine said as the kitchen door opened and Kyle stepped in.  
  
" Kyle, what are you doing here? I thought you were going to Manhattan,"  
  
exclaimed Amy.  
  
" I did," he replied as he took a cup of coffee.  
  
" Then why are you back here? What happened?"  
  
" She told me she loved me."  
  
" That's great Kyle," stated Maxine.  
  
" Then she ran off in tears. I thought it would be best to give her some space so I  
  
came back. It was a lucky thing I did too."  
  
" Why?" questioned Amy.  
  
" Turns out that the chief of staff has been trying to get a hold of me."  
  
" The chief of staff? What for?"  
  
" To offer me a promotion!"  
  
" A promotion? Kyle. That's great. Did you take it?"  
  
" Of course. You're looking at St. Mike's new Chief Resident!"  
  
" Oh my god! Kyle!" shouted an excited Maxine, "when do you start?"  
  
" Midnight tonight." 


	34. Walk on Water

She sat down by the river, her long blonde hair blowing in the breeze. Tears fell  
  
down her all ready tear stained cheeks. It wasn't fair. She had finally stopped being so  
  
stubborn and let the truth slip out. This wasn't the way things were supposed to be  
  
happening. Kyle was supposed to be at the hotel. She was supposed to run into his arms,  
  
kissing him, telling him how much she really loved him. How sorry she was. They were  
  
supposed to be together. Not like this. Not cities apart. Footsteps behind her caused Lily  
  
to turn around.  
  
" Ally. What's going on?"  
  
" Kenny called and wanted to know if you were coming into work. I told him you  
  
were sick."  
  
" Thanks Al. I owe you one."  
  
" Lily, you can't wait around for him. Just because he's back in Hartford doesn't  
  
mean that you two can't talk. Sort things out over the phone. Let him know why you ran.  
  
Let him know that you were looking for him. Tell him how you feel."  
  
" Do you think I should?"  
  
" It's worth a try. You never know."  
  
" You will never guess who showed up at my hotel room this morning," Vincent  
  
said as Kyle answered his cell phone.  
  
" That girl we met last night? What was her name?"  
  
" No it wasn't Cassy."  
  
" A playboy model?"  
  
" NO! Come on. This is hands down the easiest question you've ever been asked.  
  
LILY!"  
  
" She came to your hotel? For what?"  
  
" I swear dude. She wanted you. She was looking for YOU."  
  
" Seriously? This isn't another one of those pranks, is it?"  
  
" No. She showed up and wanted to know where you were. I told her you had left  
  
for Hartford earlier in the morning. You should have seen her after I told her. She walked  
  
off like a depressed puppy with its tail in between its legs."  
  
" Vincent, I've got a question?"  
  
" Yeah. Shoot."  
  
" Why is love so complicated?"  
  
" You can do this Lily. You can do this," she muttered to herself, moving her cell  
  
phone from hand to hand, trying to work up the nerve to call him. With her shaking  
  
finger she quickly typed in his number, but stopped as her finger moved towards the send  
  
button.  
  
" On the count of three you'll hit the send button. 1.2..3." Her heart leapt as  
  
the phone rang. Ring. Ring. Ring.  
  
" Hello?"  
  
" Hello?" Kyle asked as he answered his cell phone. He was greeted by silence.  
  
" Hello?" he asked again.  
  
" Kyle? It's me."  
  
" Lily?"  
  
" You don't know how good it is to hear your voice. I was afraid you'd hang up  
  
as soon as you found out it was me."  
  
" Why would I do that?"  
  
" Because."  
  
" Look. Lily. I understand why you ran."  
  
" You do?"  
  
" I'm a recovering druggie alcoholic. I know it's hard to trust me. I know you've  
  
had guys that were close to you hurt you. I know you're apprehensive, but you don't  
  
know until you try."  
  
" I want to try. I want you in my life. I've wanted you in my life ever since that  
  
first day. I've just never wanted to admit it until now."  
  
" Did anyone everyone tell you that you're stubborn?"  
  
" Once or twice."  
  
" I'll call you tonight," Lily said half an hour later.  
  
" Sounds great," replied Kyle.  
  
" Bye," she whispered, reluctant to hang up the phone.  
  
" Bye." The line was dead. Lily felt weightless as her heart longed to be there  
  
with him. She glanced across the calm river, feeling as if she could walk across it. A faint  
  
smile crept across her lips as she stood. She was finally happy. 


	35. Life Story

He felt his heart beating in his chest. It was too good to be true. This wasn't  
  
happening. There was some hitch. Some catch. Someone would be jumping out soon,  
  
screaming, "GOTCHA!" He pinched himself hard on the arm and realized at that point  
  
when a large bluish bruise appeared that it was real. Rubbing his arm, he pulled into  
  
Maxine's driveway and parked. He was in such a dazed stupor that he nearly walked  
  
straight into the pine tree, but stopped as the needles touched his face. Turning towards  
  
the house, he made his way to the back door without any more incidents and walked  
  
inside.  
  
" Grandma, you should have you with us," Lauren exclaimed as she sat down on  
  
the kitchen floor beside Ned who was playing with blocks.  
  
" I should have, should I?"  
  
" Jared fed the ducks," replied Peter who was sitting at the counter, feeding his  
  
son yet another bottle.  
  
" He did? I bet it was cute," replied Maxine as Kyle walked in the door.  
  
" Kyle, why are there pine needles in your hair?" asked Amy. He didn't answer.  
  
" Hello? Did you go deaf?"  
  
" No."  
  
" Then why are there pine needles in your hair?"  
  
" I walked into the pine tree."  
  
" You walked into the. Kyle, are you drunk?" Amy demanded.  
  
" Jesus Amy! Just because I walked into a pine tree automatically means I'm  
  
drunk? You're a good one to jump to conclusions," Kyle screamed suddenly, his face  
  
turning a vicious red.  
  
" What's that supposed to mean?" she challenged.  
  
" You know what it means Amy."  
  
" Enlighten me."  
  
" Remember a few years ago when you called the cops?"  
  
" You wouldn't."  
  
" I would! Look, I don't know what your problem is. This morning you were so  
  
happy that I got a new job. Now suddenly you've turned into my mother. I can't believe  
  
it," Kyle said angrily as he stormed out of the door, slamming it as hard as possible  
  
behind him. Maxine cringed as the walls shook and Amy stood, looking speechless.  
  
His foot pressed down the accelerator as he peeled away from Amy's. He couldn't  
  
believe it. Of all the people. To think he was going to tell them about he and Lily. His  
  
family was so screwed up. His father was a one of a kind, first class jerk. His mother was  
  
overbearing and too self centered to admit that her son had a problem. His sister. Hell his  
  
sister was like his mother. Amy, as he had now just discovered was like his mother,  
  
always jumping to conclusions, not giving him a chance. Maxine, hell she deserved credit  
  
to being a mother to her brother's son. Not many people were willing to assume that role  
  
with an addict/alcoholic. Peter..  
  
Kyle snapped out of his train of thought as he saw flashing red and blue lights in  
  
his rearview mirror. Glancing down at his speedometer, he cursed. 57 in a 35. As he  
  
rolled down his window, a police officer stuck his head in.  
  
" Sir where you aware that you were speeding?"  
  
" Yes and no. I just looked down at my speedometer and realized why you were  
  
pulling me over, but until that moment, no. I was thinking about my screwed up life and family."  
  
" That's nice sir. Are you under the influence of drugs or alcohol?"  
  
" No, but I'm a recovering alcoholic not to mention a recovering Speed addict.  
  
That's why my mother has basically disowned me. Because her son isn't perfect. My dad  
  
is an ass, plain and simple. My cousin just accused me of being drunk after I told her I  
  
walked into a pine tree. But I wasn't. I walked into the pine tree because I was in such a  
  
alter reality. I had just gotten off the phone with this woman that I like. Turns out she  
  
likes me too, but she's in Manhattan where I saw her for the first time in two weeks two  
  
days ago. I knocked my other cousin out with an iron because I thought he was a burglar.  
  
My other cousin, number three, just had a newborn baby about a month ago, but his wife  
  
died in childbirth. We've been helping him raise his son and during this time, I managed  
  
to slice my hand open with a turkey cutter. It's pretty nasty looking. I'm on my way to  
  
work at St. Mikes. I just got a promotion. Coincidently, my "girlfriend" worked there too  
  
and now I have her job. My"  
  
" Sir. If you stop with your life story, I'll pretend this little situation never  
  
happened. Sound okay to you?" Kyle nodded as the cop walked away and got back in his  
  
car. Rolling up his window, he restarted the car and pulled away from the curb. 


	36. Verbal Spillage

She stood outside the apartment door, knocking as hard as possible, hoping that  
  
Alex was home. Of all the days for her to forget her keys, it was today.  
  
" ALEX! Open up!"  
  
" Keep it down!" shouted a nearby neighbor as she kept pounding. After a few  
  
minutes the door next to Alex's opened.  
  
" Miss, could you please keep it down? My husband is trying to sleep."  
  
" You know what? What if I don't want to keep it down?" Lily challenged as the  
  
door opened.  
  
" Then I'll send the military police after you!" she shouted as she re-entered her  
  
apartment and Alex pulled Lily inside.  
  
" I see you've met Ms. Fletcher."  
  
" Yeah. She seems like a bitch."  
  
" I think she's schizo."  
  
" Oh that's nice," Lily replied as she walked over to the kitchen and retrieved a  
  
coffee mug and the awaiting whistling pot of tea that was on the stove.  
  
" So where were you all day?"  
  
" Wandering around town."  
  
" Did you buy anything?"  
  
" No," she said quietly as she sipped her tea.  
  
" You're hiding something. Your ears are turning red again."  
  
" I called him."  
  
" Oh my god. You called him? What did he say? Spill the beans."  
  
" We're talking again tonight."  
  
" Oh Lil. I'm so happy."  
  
" I think I can do this Ally. I've got this feeling."  
  
He felt exhausted by the time he had finished his meeting with Tony. The cut on  
  
his hand had begun throbbing in pain by the time he was done filling out all the  
  
paperwork Tony had given him. Blocking the pain out of his mind, he found his way  
  
downstairs where for once it was relatively quiet. Enjoying the peace he knew wouldn't  
  
last for long, Kyle sat down at the front desk to comprehend the day's events. However,  
  
his thoughts were centered around one thing and one thing only. Lily. He had to hear her  
  
voice. Pulling his cell phone out of his pocket, he dialed the number Lily had given him  
  
and waited.  
  
Ring. Ring. Both Lily and Alex jumped as the phone rang, surprising them. Alex  
  
grabbed the phone that was at her side and answered it.  
  
" Hello?"  
  
" Who's this?"  
  
" Alex Keeling, who the hell are you?"  
  
" Is Lily there?"  
  
" Who's asking?"  
  
" Just tell her it's Kyle."  
  
" Oh. It's you. Sorry about all the hassling," she replied as she handed to phone  
  
over to Lily.  
  
" It's your 'boyfriend' Lil."  
  
" It's your 'boyfriend' Lil," he heard Alex say. He smiled as he realized that he  
  
didn't hear Lily deny it.  
  
" Your friend's a bit crazy," Kyle pointed out as Lily got on the line.  
  
" You should meet our neighbor Ms. Fletcher. She's the definition of crazy."  
  
" Crazier than Loony Larry?" he asked, naming a patient.  
  
" Not that crazy, but she could give him a run for his money."  
  
" I don't believe you."  
  
" Then meet her and determine that for yourself."  
  
Lily bit her tongue as the words spilled out of her mouth.  
  
" Did you just invite me to meet your crazy neighbor?"  
  
" Kind of. I mean. Maybe if you wanted to, you could come this weekend and we  
  
could go someplace. If you get lucky she might be waiting for you."  
  
" Are you asking me out on a date?"  
  
" What if I am?"  
  
" Then I'd say yes," Kyle replied as the sound of sirens filled his ears.  
  
" Are you at work?"  
  
" Yeah. Look, I've got to go. There's a huge trauma coming in. I'll be there at  
  
11:30 Saturday. Are you working?"  
  
" No."  
  
" Then I'll see you then."  
  
" Bye."  
  
" Bye." 


	37. The Teddy Bear's Picnic

She felt her heart beating heavily against her chest as she sighed.  
  
" What? Come on Lil. Tell me."  
  
" He's coming this Saturday and we're going on a date," she said simply as she  
  
put the phone down and retreated to her bedroom. Upon closing the door, she fell onto  
  
the bed, her clothes still on. Anxiety filled her nerves as she began thinking about  
  
Saturday.  
  
" Donna!" Kyle shouted as he burst into the living room bright and early the next  
  
morning.  
  
" What?!" she replied back from her bedroom.  
  
" Where are you?"  
  
" Trying to take a nap. My sweet daughter thought that it would be funny to spend  
  
the night screaming. I sent her to daycare for the day so I could try to sleep."  
  
" I'm sorry."  
  
" You're sorry? I can't get her to stop the screaming fits and go to bed. Somehow,  
  
when you're here, all you have to do is sing her favorite song and she'll quiet down."  
  
" Donna, if any word of my rendition of The Teddy Bears Picnic gets out, I'll hurt  
  
you."  
  
" Stay home tonight and it's a deal."  
  
" I can't. I'm working."  
  
" Can I bring her to you in the dead of morning?"  
  
" Donna, that would involve me singing the Teddy Bear's Picnic outside of these  
  
walls. It isn't happening. Now can I ask you the question I originally came here to ask?"  
  
" Sure. Might as well. You're all ready here."  
" I need the perfect New York City date by Saturday morning."  
  
" A picnic."  
  
" Donna, I thought I told you I wasn't going to sing the song again."  
  
" Not the Teddy Bear's picnic dimwit, a picnic. Specifically a picnic that takes  
  
place in Central Park."  
  
" You're a genius Donna. What kind of food?"  
  
" What time of day?"  
  
" 11 or so."  
  
" I've got just the thing. There's this Website online that helps you prepare  
  
different types of picnics. What kind of picnic do you want?"  
  
" Well, it's a date," he said hesitantly.  
  
" With Lily??!" she asked in surprise.  
  
" Yes."  
  
" Ohmigod!! This is so cool. So do you know if she's vegetarian or anything?"  
  
" Not that I know of."  
  
" Any allergies to food?"  
  
" Pineapple."  
  
" How do you know stuff like this?"  
  
" It's a long story."  
  
" Okay. Here it is. You'll need a small loaf of French bread, a small log of  
  
summer sausage, Brie cheese, sharp cheddar spread, little blocks of Colby, cherries,  
  
watermelon cubes, red grapes, chocolate covered strawberries and some kind of dessert."  
  
" Where do I get all of this?"  
" Don't worry! I'll get it all and have it ready for you. I've even got a picnic  
  
basket and a picnic blanket."  
  
" Donna, you're the best."  
  
" So does this mean you'll sing Ariadne the song tonight?"  
  
" Call me and I'll sing it over the phone."  
  
" You won't believe who I've got a date with Saturday," Kyle said as he met up  
  
with Mike Ambrose that night at the hospital.  
  
" Lily?!"  
  
" How'd you know that?"  
  
" I heard it from Terry who heard it from Leslie who heard it from Bob the janitor  
  
who heard it from Ahmed the cardiologist who heard it from Darlene who heard it from  
  
Amber who heard it from Sarah the cafeteria lady who heard it from Harry who heard it  
  
from.."  
  
" Enough of who heard it from who. So what if we're going on a date?"  
  
" You're dating the pit bull."  
  
" She's not a pit bull Mike."  
  
" That's what you think," he said with a laugh as they approached the lobby.  
  
" So what does your girlfriend think about you taking her job?"  
  
" My 'girlfriend' doesn't know that I got her job yet, and I plan to keep it that way  
  
for awhile."  
  
" So when is the date?"  
  
" Saturday. We're meeting at Central Park for a picnic that she doesn't know  
  
about."  
  
" So are you going to score with her?"  
  
" My 'scoring' is none of your business," Kyle answered as he looked up at the  
  
clock.  
  
" What's with this place being so frickin dead? It's 1:30."  
  
" I wish it were like this more often," Mike replied as Kyle's cell phone began  
  
ringing.  
  
" Hello? Donna. You're kidding me. Right now? Can't you tell her to wait for my  
  
break in half an hour? Okay. Okay. Hey Ariadne. Which one? The Teddy Bear's Picnic.  
  
Are you sure? Okay," he said as he began quietly singing the song.  
  
" Will you go to sleep for Mommy now? Okay. Good night. Love you too," he  
  
replied as he hung up. Half of the ER glanced at him awkwardly.  
  
" What? Do you think? No. She's not my daughter. It's my roommate's daughter.  
  
Seriously. The only way she can get to sleep is if I sing to her." The weird looks  
  
continued as sirens sounded and flashed outside. Kyle swore he heard mumbled lyrics of  
  
the Teddy Bear's picnic as the gurney rolled in.  
  
'I am never going to live this down.' he thought. 


	38. To Us

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING ASSOC. WITH JA. I do however own the following: Alex Keeling, Kenny Marshall, Mike Abrose, Darlene, Corrine, Tony Rasario, Mrs. Fletcher, Terry, Leslie, Bob the janitor, Ahmed, Amber, Sarah the cafeteria lady, and Harry.  
  
Just as the sun rose over Hartford, Kyle awoke, too anxious to sleep anymore. He  
  
pulled on a black turtle neck and a pair of jeans before he walked into the kitchen to pour  
  
his morning coffee. A note, covered with Donna's handwriting was stuck to the fridge.  
  
' Food is packed and ready in the fridge. There's a bottle of sparkling white grape  
  
juice in the drawer since you don't drink. Wine glasses are in the cupboard over the  
  
stove. Remember silverware and napkins. Picnic basket is in the closet, the blanket is  
  
inside. Good luck, Donna' He smiled as he sipped his coffee. Putting it down on the  
  
counter, Kyle walked to the front closet and withdrew the whicker picnic basket.  
  
Carrying it back into the kitchen, he loaded it with all the containers Donna had prepared.  
  
Reaching into the vegetable drawer, he extracted the bottle of Welch's Concord White  
  
Grape Sparkling Cider and stuck it into a cooler so it would stay chilled. Checking the list  
  
Donna had left him, Kyle saw that he had all of his things. Grabbing the basket in his left  
  
hand and the cooler in his right, he bounded down the stairs and loaded everything into  
  
his car. Putting on a pair of sunglasses he got behind the wheel and drove away.  
  
Her bed looked as if it had been engulfed by a raging clothing monster. Empty  
  
packing boxes littered the floor. Picking up a brown sandal, Lily chucked it across the  
  
room, frustrated that she couldn't find its match.  
  
" What am I going to wear? I don't have anything to wear!"  
  
" Lil! Chill out!" Alex said as she entered the room.  
  
Do you want Ms. Fletcher barging over here this early?"  
  
" Not really. It's just that I can't find anything to wear!"  
  
" Out of all these clothes you've packed?!" exclaimed Alex in amazement.  
  
" Help me?"  
" I've got the perfect shirt in my closet. Put on these jeans and I'll be right back,"  
  
she ordered as she walked out of the bedroom. She returned shortly carrying a burgundy  
  
off the shoulder top.  
  
" Put this on." Lily obeyed and slipped the shirt on over her head.  
  
" Alex it shows off like a foot of my stomach."  
  
" You look great! The hip huggers and the shirt are really working for you. Now  
  
just let me handle the hair and we're in business my friend."  
  
He stopped at Central Park Florist as soon as he pulled into Manhattan.  
  
" Welcome to Central Park Florist. How may I help you?" greeted a zealous  
  
young woman.  
  
" I was wondering if I could get a single white Lisianthus."  
  
" Sure. That won't be a problem," she said as she disappeared into the back room.  
  
Seconds later she returned with a perfect white Lisianthus.  
  
" Is there anyway you can put it in some water?"  
  
" Sure, I'll put a water tube on it."  
  
" Thanks. How much do I owe you?"  
  
" 3.65." Peeling a five out of his wallet, he instructed her to keep the change, took  
  
the flower, and walked out. Glancing at his watch, he saw that it was 11:15. Taking out  
  
his cell phone, he redialed her number.  
  
" Hello?"  
  
" Meet me at the entrance to Central Park West."  
  
She walked down the crowded streets checking her reflection in every store  
  
window. Never before had she been this nervous about going on a date. She didn't know what it was about this particular date that was bugging her so much. Was it the fact that  
  
she hadn't been on a date since Wade left her? Was it the fact that she hadn't had these  
  
kind of feelings since Wade? Was she scared that this date could truly confirm her  
  
feelings? Was it the fact that this whole thing could wind up working; that love wouldn't  
  
turn its back on her for once? Glancing up she saw that she was at the point at which he  
  
had instructed her to be at. Her watch read 11:30. Where was he? All of a sudden a strong  
  
pair of arms wrapped themselves around her neck, a white Lisianthus in them.  
  
" Guess who?"  
  
" Last time I checked, bums didn't wear cologne and buy pretty girls flowers."  
  
" Who says you're pretty?" Kyle joked as he flipped her around.  
  
" Kyle!" she screamed in pretend annoyance as she smacked him across the  
  
shoulder.  
  
" Nice to see you too! You look beautiful," he said with a grin, shocked at the  
  
'non-Lily' clothes she was wearing. He stepped in and wrapped his arms around her. He  
  
was surprised at how good it felt to be holding her in his arms and have her holding him  
  
back. He almost didn't want to separate.  
  
" Can we just stay like this?" he heard her whisper.  
  
" We could, but if we don't the bums are going to smell the food and grow  
  
restless."  
  
" Good point," she replied as he led her over to a blanket spread between two  
  
trees. Opening the picnic basket, he withdrew the wine glasses and bottle. A shocked  
  
look eased onto Lily's face.  
  
" I know what you're thinking and no it's not. Just sparkling," he said with a  
  
smile as he filled the glasses.  
  
" I wasn't going to say it."  
  
" I've been sober for over three months and I'll stay sober for every day I get to  
  
spend like this," he said as he wrapped his free arm around her shoulders. As she reclined  
  
into his arms and rested her head on his shoulder, she raised her wine glass.  
  
" Toast."  
  
" To what?" Kyle asked.  
  
" To us." 


	39. When You Wish Upon A Star

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING ASSOC. WITH JA. I do however own the following: Alex Keeling, Kenny Marshall, Mike Ambrose, Darlene, Corrine, Tony Rasario, Mrs. Fletcher, Terry, Leslie, Bob the janitor, Ahmed, Amber, Sarah the cafeteria lady, and Harry.  
  
" So what's for desert?" Lily asked as Kyle placed the picnic basket in the back of  
  
his car.  
  
" I told you, it's a surprise."  
  
" You better not be taking me to The Basement of Fear."  
  
" What's The Basement of Fear?"  
  
" It's this restaurant on Fifth Street that's based on Fear Factor. You can eat your  
  
way through disgusting courses. Rumor has it the desert menu features a 'Worm  
  
Sundae.'"  
  
" Mmm. A worm sundae sounds pretty good."  
  
" You've got to be kidding me."  
  
" Yeah," he replied with a laugh as he shut the trunk and stepped onto the  
  
sidewalk. Casually he stuck out his hand and took Lily's in his then began walking.  
  
" So do I get a hint?"  
  
" Nope," Kyle said as his cell phone rang.  
  
" Hello? Tony? I can't. I've got that virus that's going around. Yeah. 101.2. Okay.  
  
I will," he said as he hung up.  
  
" You don't look sick to me," Lily said with a smile.  
  
" Oh I'm terribly ill. Don't you see it in my face?"  
  
" You've got sickoftonyitis."  
  
" Sicko what?"  
  
" Sick of Tony it-is. I've had it before. It's awful. Especially when you're Chief. It's like he's attached at your hip. Speaking of, who got the attending position?" Kyle  
  
muttered something in an inaudible voice.  
  
" What was that? I couldn't hear what you said."  
  
" Me. I said me."  
  
" You got it? Oh my god Kyle! I'm so excited for you!" Lily exclaimed as she  
  
stopped them on the sidewalk and kissed him in happiness. They stood there for a  
  
moment while people walked around them then separated with a sigh.  
  
" After dessert," Lily said.  
  
" After dessert," he repeated as they rounded a corner.  
  
" So you really aren't going to tell me where we're going?"  
  
" If you really want to know.."  
  
" Yes."  
  
" Napoleon."  
  
" You're kidding me. Alex said she's been trying to get reservations there for two  
  
months. How'd you do it?"  
  
" Through a friend of a friend of a friend," he said as they darted across the street  
  
to the café. After giving the hostess his name, they were escorted to an outdoors table and  
  
handed menus.  
  
" What looks good?"  
  
" I can't decided between the crepes with strawberries or the chocolate mousse."  
  
" Chocolate mousse sounds good. Why don't we get both and share?"  
  
" Sounds like a plan," Lily said with a smile as the waiter came over.  
  
The sun had begun to set while they finished dessert. Kyle was paying the waiter  
  
while Lily finished the last of the whip creamed covered crepes. After the waiter walked  
  
away with the money, Kyle turned around in his chair and immediately began laughing..  
  
" What? Do I have something on my face or something? Stop laughing and tell  
  
me."  
  
" Let me get it," he said, reaching his finger out and wiping the smear of whipped  
  
cream off her face. A seductive look overcame Lily's eyes as she licked the cream off of  
  
his finger. The charge between them was unbelievable as they kissed, ignoring the other  
  
patrons. After a few minutes, they pulled apart. Standing hand in hand, they walked out  
  
of the restaurant and onto the busy street. Words were not spoken as they hurried back to  
  
Lily's apartment. They rode the elevator up to the roof, the chemistry building as it  
  
climbed higher and higher. As he stepped out, Kyle was pleased to see that the blanket  
  
that he had requested from Alex was spread across the cement surface.  
  
" Planning on getting lucky, are we?" asked Lily.  
  
" No, actually it's a policy of mine not to have sex on the first date. It kind of puts  
  
a damper on the relationship."  
  
" That's something I wouldn't expect of you."  
  
" I've actually got tact believe it or not. What I actually intended was for us just to  
  
lay here and watch the stars."  
  
" You're so romantic," she replied as she nestled herself in his outstretched arms.  
  
" Thanks," he whispered.  
  
" There's so much I don't know about you. Including you being a closet  
  
romantic."  
  
" I hope you stay around long enough to learn everything."  
" So do I," Lily replied as she wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her  
  
head upon his chest.  
  
" It's a shooting star," he said suddenly, looking up at the sky.  
  
Make a wish."  
  
" Only if you do."  
  
" Okay." The two of them closed their eyes and began muttering,  
  
" Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have  
  
the wish, I wish tonight." After a few moments of silence Kyle opened his eyes.  
  
" So what did you wish for?"  
  
" I can't tell you. It may not come true if I do," Lily stated superstitiously.  
  
" Can I show you mine?" She nodded. He positioned himself over top of her and  
  
began passionately kissing her. As the lights went down, they kissed each other until they  
  
fell asleep, arm in arm in the moonlight. 


	40. The Removal of Brains Through The Nasal ...

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING ASSOC. WITH JA. I do however own the following: Alex Keeling, Kenny Marshall, Mike Ambrose, Darlene, Corrine, Tony Rasario, Mrs. Fletcher, Terry, Leslie, Bob the janitor, Ahmed, Amber, Sarah the cafeteria lady, and Harry.  
  
Kyle opened his eyes as the city sounds awoke him. Where was he? Why did it  
  
feel so breezy? Had Donna left the window open? That would explain the temperature,  
  
but it didn't explain why he was laying on top of a roof, his arms wrapped around a  
  
blonde. Giving it all a few seconds to sink in, Kyle realized where he was and who the  
  
blonde was in his arms. He and Lily had fallen asleep last night. Together. Turning over  
  
onto his stomach he glanced at her sleeping body. She looked so beautiful when she was  
  
asleep. He watched her chest rise and fall repeatedly. She stirred suddenly, rolling over so  
  
she faced him.  
  
" Good morning," she whispered.  
  
" Good morning to you too," he replied as he ran his fingers through her hair.  
  
They shared a simple kiss then both sat up.  
  
" We should go downstairs before Ally starts jumping to conclusions."  
  
" Good idea," he said as he picked up the blanket and folded it. They walked  
  
towards the elevator doors and got in. They were nearly down to her floor when Lily  
  
suddenly burst out,  
  
" Oh my god Kyle. Your neck."  
  
" What about it?"  
  
" I must have. It. Look in the mirror," she stated. He turned and looked in the  
  
mirror that was stuck to the wall. There upon his neck was a rather large bright red mark.  
  
" Didn't know you had it in you," Kyle joked as he pulled the neck of his turtle  
  
neck higher. The door opened and they stepped out, just in time to encounter a bathrobed  
  
Ms. Fletcher who was holding her newspaper.  
  
" Hey Ms. Fletcher. How are you?"  
  
" Who is your friend?"  
  
" I'm Kyle."  
  
" What do you do? You don't work for them do you?"  
  
" The military police? Of course I work for the military police. I work with the  
  
people that take your brains and pull them through your noses. Would you like to see my  
  
badge?" he asked, trying his best not to laugh. Ms. Fletcher's eyes grew to the size of tea  
  
saucers as she began screaming shrilly at the top of her lungs and rushed into her  
  
apartment.  
  
" Kyle! That was awful."  
  
" I know," he said with a grin as they walked into the apartment.  
  
" Lil, is that you?" screamed Alex from her bedroom.  
  
" Yeah. Kyle's here too."  
  
" What was going on outside? I thought I heard Ms. Fletcher screaming. Did the  
  
military police finally come?" she asked as she wandered out into the kitchen.  
  
" Apparently my boyfriend here works for the military police. He specializes in  
  
the removal of brains from the nasal cavity," Lily said with a laugh as Kyle sipped from  
  
his coffee cup.  
  
" Kyle McCarty, head Chief Justice of The Military Police. Nice to meet you."  
  
" Alex Keeling, same to you."  
  
" So Kyle, how long have you been removing people's brains through their  
  
noses?" Alex asked as she slipped her earrings in.  
  
" Since med school. It was one of the most interesting classes. Military Police  
  
101," he said with a laugh.  
  
" They didn't offer that where I attended med school. Where did you go?"  
  
" Kyle went to John Hopkins."  
  
" You're kidding? How'd you catch such a smart one?" Alex asked Lily.  
  
" I don't know. Must just be luck."  
  
" Maybe I need to get a job at St. Mike's," she joked as she grabbed her purse that  
  
was sitting on the counter.  
  
" Do you have a shift?" questioned Lily.  
  
" Yeah. Which reminds me. So do you. At 1."  
  
" Ug. I don't wanna," she whined as Alex walked out the door.  
  
" So that leaves us with three hours. What do you say we go out for breakfast and  
  
take it from there."  
  
" Mm. Sounds good."  
  
" And if you're a good little girl, I might just take you to work."  
  
" Oh, and what happens if I'm bad?"  
  
" I don't know yet."  
  
" Peter, son where are you?" shouted Maxine as she headed downstairs Sunday  
  
morning.  
  
" I'm in the kitchen reading the paper," he replied as his mother walked into the  
  
kitchen, her hair bunched into two pigtails and a thick housecoat wrapped around her  
  
frame.  
  
" Where are the boys?"  
  
" Amy and Lauren took them for awhile so I could breathe."  
  
" Peter, we need to talk. Tomorrow Amy and I are going back to work. Lauren is  
  
going back to school. That would leave you and the boys alone by yourself in the house.  
  
Are you ready for that?"  
  
" I've been thinking about this. We can't live with you forever."  
  
" That's nonsense."  
  
" Mom, we can't. I called into work and talked with my secretary. I get one month  
  
maternity leave. That ends at the end of this coming week."  
  
" Are you going to go back to work?"  
  
" I have to. I can't stay home and take care of Jared all of the time. I have to have  
  
a job to support us. I'm going to have to have money to support two boys all by myself."  
  
" Which means?" questioned Maxine.  
  
" I'm going home tonight. Tomorrow, Ned is going to go back to pre- school.  
  
Jared and I will spend the week looking for a daycare center that he can stay at during the  
  
day and where Ned can go to after school."  
  
" Son, are you ready to go home? Are you ready to face all of those memories?"  
  
" I'm going to have to do it sooner or later. I've got to get my life back together Mom."  
  
" Well you know where I am if you ever need help. Don't hesitate."  
  
" I mean it's not like we're never going to see each other. We'll be over every night for dinner."  
  
" I look forward to that," Maxine said as she stole the paper away. 


	41. Interception

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING ASSOC. WITH JA. I do however own the following: Alex Keeling, Kenny Marshall, Mike Ambrose, Darlene, Corrine, Tony Rasario, Mrs. Fletcher, Terry, Leslie, Bob the janitor, Ahmed, Amber, Sarah the cafeteria lady, and Harry.  
  
He felt the eyes staring as he walked into Sloan Kettering, hand in hand with Lily.  
  
" If they stare any harder, you may have to treat my back for third degree burns,"  
  
he whispered between his teeth.  
  
" Do you want to do something to make them stare even harder?" she challenged.  
  
" If you're thinking what I'm thinking, yes," he said with a grin. They stopped  
  
dead smack in the middle of the ER and began kissing. After a few minutes they  
  
separated.  
  
" You were right," he said. "I think I have third degree burns now all over my  
  
body."  
  
" Wanna bet on how long it takes it to get around that I was making out with a  
  
strange guy in the ER?" asked Lily as they boarded the elevators.  
  
" News can't travel as fast as it does at St. Mike's. You don't have Mike, Darlene,  
  
Bob, Amber, Sarah, or Leslie."  
  
" True, but Martin, Jana, Michelle, Jackie, and Julie could give them a run for  
  
their money. It took them less than two minutes to spread all over the majority of the  
  
floors that I told some stranger I loved him."  
  
" Wait until they see my neck. It'll be all over that the ex pit bull bites," he said  
  
with a laugh.  
  
" Be smart. Wear a turtle neck and your lab coat. Don't change into scrubs."  
  
" How did I find someone as smart as you?"  
  
" Beats me," she said as they stepped off the elevator and walked to Lily's office  
  
where they were quickly intercepted by Alex and a strange man.  
  
" Oh. It's just you," Alex said as she spotted Kyle.  
  
" What do you mean it's just me?"  
  
" We heard Lily was making out with a stranger downstairs."  
  
" Who told you?"  
  
" Alissa told Tony who in turn told me."  
  
" See," Lily replied simply, jokingly sticking her tongue out.  
  
" So, Lily. Who's this stranger you were making out with in my ER?" asked  
  
Kenny asked.  
  
" Kenny, meet Kyle McCarty. Kyle, meet my boss, Kenny Marshall."  
  
" Nice to meet you," Kenny said as he outstretched his hand.  
  
" Same to you," Kyle replied, shaking his hand.  
  
" So how did you two meet?" asked Kenny.  
  
" I was a recovering addict/alcoholic that had just restarted my residency. No  
  
other hospital would accept me into their program so I went to my last resort. St. Mike's.  
  
I wanted to weasel my way out of the interview, but Lily in sorts cornered me and made  
  
me stay. After a year of nagging and avoiding each other we wound up together."  
  
" Sounds interesting," Kenny said as his pager went off.  
  
It was nice talking to you, but duty calls," he replied as he walked off.  
  
" I've got to go do something that I can't recall right now," Alex stammered  
  
awkwardly as she turned and went the opposite direction. Lily smiled as she glanced at  
  
Kyle.  
  
" I better get going."  
  
" Do you have to leave? You could stay and watch me work," she pleaded.  
  
" As much as we would both like that, I think I'd be a bit of a distraction for you,"  
  
he said as he kissed her.  
  
" Call me tonight?"  
  
" I wouldn't miss the chance to hear your voice," Kyle insisted as they shared one  
  
final kiss.  
  
" I'll miss you."  
  
" Miss you too," he replied as he took one last look at her and walked out. 


	42. Memory Lane

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING ASSOC. WITH JA. I do however own the following: Alex Keeling, Kenny Marshall, Mike Ambrose, Darlene, Corrine, Tony Rasario, Mrs. Fletcher, Terry, Leslie, Bob the janitor, Ahmed, Amber, Sarah the cafeteria lady, and Harry.  
  
Peter stared at the door to his bedroom with a heavy heart. He had put both Ned  
  
and Jared to bed as soon as they arrived home. Now it was just him and his memories.  
  
Putting his hand on the brass doorknob, he turned it and walked inside. The room was  
  
preserved as if it were a time capsule. The sheets were spread perfectly on the bed, just  
  
the way she liked them; neat and nice. The pillows and throw pillows lined the  
  
headboard, arranged by their size and color. He opened her side of the closet. It was  
  
arranged just like the bed pillows. Picking up one of her sweaters, Peter held it to his face  
  
and breathed in the scent that it held. The feelings that rushed upon Peter were amazing  
  
as the familiar scent of his wife filled the room. It was as if she was right beside him. He  
  
put the sweater back and sauntered over to the bureau. A line of perfumes was standing  
  
like soldiers, each a different scent he distinctly remembered Gillian insisting she  
  
couldn't live without. After spraying her bottle of Tommy into the air, Peter headed for  
  
the hope chest at the foot of their bed. Lifting the lid, he propped it up against the bed and  
  
inhaled the smell of cedar chips. Taking Ned's baby book off the top stack, Peter reached  
  
in and retrieved a thick black book. His heart thumped in his chest as anxiety flooded  
  
him. Was he ready to do this?  
  
Kyle stood at the window by the nurses' station in the ER, glancing up at the stars  
  
that had begun to litter the sky. Just last night he had held her underneath the same blue  
  
sky, watching the same stars. It was hard to believe they were hours apart now. The  
  
distance between their hearts seemed non-existent. He could feel the aching in his and  
  
wondered if she was feeling the same way too.  
  
" Come on McCarty. Get over yourself," he whispered with a grin, realizing that  
  
it was exactly something like Lily would say. What was it with having Lily on the brain?  
  
She stood in her office, staring out at the night sky. Images of the night before  
  
flowed through her mind. The brief moment of passion. The feeling in her heart, wanting  
  
more. Waking up in his arms. It felt so good. Lily knew she could spend the rest of  
  
her life waking up and seeing his face. She found herself thinking that if Kyle asked her  
  
to marry him tomorrow, she'd say yes.  
  
" Get real Lily. You've only officially gone out with him once. You shouldn't be  
  
having feelings like this. You're just setting yourself up. How could your life wind up  
  
like a fairytale?" she asked herself as she turned her attention back to the sky and her  
  
feelings. 


	43. Reflections of Love

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING ASSOC. WITH JA. I do however own the following: Alex Keeling, Kenny Marshall, Mike Ambrose, Darlene, Corrine, Tony Rasario, Mrs. Fletcher, Terry, Leslie, Bob the janitor, Ahmed, Amber, Sarah the cafeteria lady, and Harry.  
  
He flipped over the cover of the book and was immediately filled with sadness. A  
  
photograph of them on their wedding day stared up at him. Maxine walking Gillian down  
  
the aisle. Peter standing at the alter, waiting. Gillian holding his hand. Them kissing.  
  
Them dancing. He flipped the book shut and pulled out Ned's baby book. There they  
  
were, together, holding their son. The next picture showed Peter holding Ned. He flipped  
  
the page. Gillian looked up at him with their son in his arms. It was too much. Peter  
  
slammed the book shut. Tears came to his eyes as he thought of Jared. There would be no  
  
pictures in his baby book of his parents holding him. There would be no pictures of him  
  
being held by Gillian. There would be no pictures of them as a family.  
  
It was nearly two A.M. that morning when Kyle's pager went off. '911. 265-  
  
9958.' He smiled as he punched the number into the nearby phone.  
  
" Hello?"  
  
" Hey there. I see you got my message."  
  
" I did. What can I do for you?"  
  
" I just wanted to hear your voice before I went to bed. I miss you."  
  
" I miss you too."  
  
" I wish you were here with me."  
  
" You don't know how much I wish that could be true. I wish we could wake up  
  
together every morning."  
  
" Move to Manhattan."  
  
" You know I can't do that or I'd be there in a heartbeat."  
  
" I know. I understand."  
  
" So how was your day?"  
  
" Well after you left, I had to pour out all the details to Alex who I'm sure turned  
  
and told everything to Kenny and anyone willing to listen. Then I had three kids barf on  
  
my clothes and a lady who handcuffed her husband to herself then swallowed the key.  
  
Add that to three infected Botox patients, two car accidents, both resulting in fatalities,  
  
and a shooting and you've got it made. Oh. And there was the senile old man that kept  
  
grabbing my ass."  
  
" That sounds like it was enjoyable. all except the ass grabbing. Tell your  
  
patients that you have a boyfriend and he's the only one that's allowed to grab."  
  
" So how was your day?" Lily said with a laugh as she cut in.  
  
" Not as exciting as yours. I've spent the majority of my shift trying to keep the  
  
med students and interns from killing every patient that comes in the doors."  
  
" Ah. Welcome to Attending hell, the one way train to craziness. Have you had  
  
the med students vomit all over you yet?"  
  
" No."  
  
" Then you have something to look foreword to. When I started off as Attending,  
  
I had three med students vomit all over me after the first sight of more than a splash of  
  
blood. You should have seen the mess after the first gang fight came in."  
  
" Sounds like quality fun," Kyle said as Mike walked up to him.  
  
" Hey Lily!"  
  
" Mike says hey."  
  
" Tell Mike hi."  
  
" She says hi," he repeated to Mike who looked as if he were bored to death.  
  
Lily heard Kyle and Mike's voices talking rapidly then heard Kyle's voice come back on  
  
the line.  
  
" I'm not asking her that Mike. And I'm not telling you that."  
  
" Tell Mike to go stand out in the middle of traffic and hitchhike."  
  
" I would, but he'd probably take me seriously."  
  
" True. So when do I get to see you again?"  
  
" Unless you come down here, it could be awhile. Between the next two weeks of  
  
shifts and catching up on sleep, I'm going to have a dull social life."  
  
" Maybe if I twist Kenny's arm backwards I can come visit you."  
  
" That would be great," Kyle said as he let out a loud yawn.  
  
" You sound tired."  
  
" I am. My shift ends in half an hour and I'm making plans with my bed already."  
  
" When then, I'll let you go. My bed is calling me too."  
  
" Good night."  
  
" Good-night."  
  
" Love you," Kyle said.  
  
" Love you too." 


	44. Running Away To Join The Circus

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING ASSOC. WITH JA. I do however own the following: Alex Keeling, Kenny Marshall, Mike Ambrose, Darlene, Corrine, Tony Rasario, Mrs. Fletcher, Terry, Leslie, Bob the janitor, Ahmed, Amber, Sarah the cafeteria lady, and Harry.  
  
Peter took a deep breath as he woke up that morning. Some how he had made it  
  
through the past week without breaking down. How he had done it was no small miracle.  
  
It was just a 24/7 put one foot in front of the other deal. He showered and dressed  
  
quickly, hoping that Ned and Jared didn't wake up in the process. After dressing in  
  
khakis and a dress shirt, Peter walked into Ned's room. The three year old sat up in bed  
  
and looked at Peter.  
  
" What are we doing today Daddy?"  
  
" Daddy is going to work and you're going to school."  
  
" I am? Yay!"  
  
" How about you wear your fire truck shirt and some jeans?" Peter suggested as  
  
he took the shirt out of the closet and pulled it onto his son. He helped Ned put on his  
  
pants and shoes then carried him downstairs and turned on the T.V.  
  
" Why don't you watch Rugrats while Daddy goes and gets your brother?" Peter  
  
quickly left the room and went back upstairs to Jared's room. He found his son wide  
  
awake and babbling. Hurriedly he dressed him and went back downstairs.  
  
" Ned, come and get your coat on!" he shouted as he put Jared in his carrier. Ned  
  
came toddling in and pulled on the windbreaker that Peter handed him. He picked up his  
  
backpack and followed Peter out the door. Once Peter had buckled Ned in beside Jared,  
  
he hopped in the driver's seat and started his car. His heart felt torn as he pulled away  
  
from the curb. In his mind it was as if he were pulling away from his old life and  
  
beginning another.  
  
Kyle groaned as the phone rang in his bedroom.  
  
" DONNA ANSWER THE PHONE!" he shouted as he pulled his pillow over his head.  
  
" IT'S FOR YOU."  
  
" TELL WHOEVER IT IS TO CALL BACK WHEN I'VE HAD MORE THAN  
  
THREE HOURS OF SLEEP."  
  
" IT'S YOUR AUNT."  
  
" TELL HER I'VE RUN AWAY AND JOINED THE GOD DAMNED  
  
CIRCUS."  
  
" She wants the circus's phone number," Donna said as she walked into his room  
  
and put the phone by his ear.  
  
" No. Ah. Not right now. Sleeping."  
  
" KYLE! WAKE UP."  
  
" Maxine," he mumbled. "If I say yes to whatever you're going to ask me, will  
  
you let me go back to sleep?"  
  
" I suppose I will."  
  
" Then the answer is yes."  
  
" All right then. Be at the house around six."  
  
" Mmhmm. Sure," he said as he hung up the phone and chucked it out into the  
  
hallway. Closing his eyes, he felt himself instantly sucked back into sleep as he dreamt of  
  
Lily.  
  
" Hank, can you cover for me for a bit? I want to take my lunch break."  
  
" Sure Peter. No problem."  
  
" I'm going over to ABC Daycare to see Jared. I may be late."  
  
" Take all the time you want Peter. We understand," replied Hank as Peter stood up and left.  
  
Within five minutes he found himself at the daycare. He quickly parked and went  
  
inside. The shouts of toddlers greeted him along with the wave from Stacy Campbell, the  
  
director.  
  
" Mr. Grey. Great to see you."  
  
" You too Stacy. How are my boys?"  
  
" Doing great. Ned just went down for nap time and Jared is ready to eat," she  
  
said with a grin.  
  
" How has he reacted to the changes?"  
  
" Pretty well. The workers all love him. They say he's a doll. He hasn't been  
  
fussy at all today."  
  
" That's great."  
  
" He really enjoyed story time and music," Stacy said as she led Peter to the infant  
  
area. Jared was laying on his back underneath a bright lighted Fisher Price gym set. His  
  
hands and feet kicked in excitement as the lights flashed on and off playing music. As  
  
soon as Jared heard Peter's voice, he turned his head and smiled.  
  
" Did you see that?" asked an excited Peter who scooped up his son.  
  
" You've got a pretty great kid on your hands Peter," Stacy answered as she  
  
handed him the prepared bottle.  
  
" Thanks," he replied as he eased himself into a wooden rocking chair. Jared  
  
eagerly sucked on the bottle as soon as it touched his lips.  
  
" I'll leave you two to yourselves," Stacy said with a smile as she exited the room.  
  
Peter grinned as he looked down at his son. For the first time since her death, he felt  
  
happy.  
  
" I can do this Gillian. I can do it." 


	45. Subtle Humming

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING ASSOC. WITH JA. I do however own the following: Alex Keeling, Kenny Marshall, Mike Ambrose, Darlene, Corrine, Tony Rasario, Mrs. Fletcher, Terry, Leslie, Bob the janitor, Ahmed, Amber, Sarah the cafeteria lady, and Harry.  
  
He felt the bright rays of sunlight poking through the blinds as he awoke.  
  
Stepping out of bed, he pulled on a pair of lounge pants and shuffled to the kitchen. With  
  
the flick of a button, he turned on the coffee maker and picked up his cell phone. The  
  
green display showed that he had one new voice mail.  
  
" Kyle, it's your favorite aunt calling to remind you of the promise you made me  
  
this morning at seven o'clock. Call me when you get this." Kyle smacked himself in the  
  
forehead after hearing his aunt's words. What the hell did he promise to her this  
  
morning? He racked his brain for something as his poured his cup of coffee and sat down.  
  
It was almost as bad as his worst hangovers when he couldn't remember how he got  
  
home or what he had said/done the night before. Like the morning he woke up  
  
handcuffed to his fire escape.  
  
" Hello. DCFS, this is Maxine Gray speaking."  
  
" Aunt Max, what the heck did I agree to this morning?" Kyle demanded as he  
  
sipped his coffee out of one of Ariadne's sippy cups.  
  
" Well hello Kyle. I see you're awake now. What time did you get home last  
  
night?"  
  
" Almost four. Don't change the subject. What did you rope me into this  
  
morning?"  
  
" Dinner."  
  
" Dinner?"  
  
" Yes dinner. The meal after breakfast and lunch."  
" I know what dinner is," he said slightly perturbed.  
  
" You're going to come eat dinner with us tonight," Maxine explained.  
  
" Does 'us' include Amy?"  
  
" Yes, Kyle. It does. Amy realizes she was out of line and jumped too quickly to  
  
conclusions. She wants to apologize to you. Plus, I'm making lasagna."  
  
" Veggie or regular?"  
  
" Extra meaty and extra cheesy."  
  
" Garlic bread?"  
  
" Only the best. So are you going to uphold your end of the bet?"  
  
" Yes, but the only reason is because I'm hungry and I haven't had anything  
  
besides Chinese take out for the past three days."  
  
" Six o'clock. Remember."  
  
" Six o'clock," he repeated as he hung up. Glancing up at the clock he saw that it  
  
was nearly one thirty now. What could he possibly do for five hours? Driving to  
  
Manhattan was out of the question.... Maxine would more than likely kill him if he didn't  
  
show up tonight. He could go indulge himself in Baskin Robbin's "Suicidal Sundae."  
  
That would take him a good two hours at least followed up by a visit to the ER, where he  
  
didn't want to be until midnight. Narrowing it down, he came up with his final choice.  
  
Reaching into the fridge he pulled out a bottle of root beer and grabbed the bag of Ruffles  
  
sitting on the counter. He promptly placed himself on the couch where he flicked on the  
  
television. With his luck, maybe he could catch the Celebrity Death Match Marathon on  
  
MTV.  
  
Maxine smiled as Lauren and Amy entered the kitchen.  
  
" Lauren, how was school?"  
  
" Cool. We're studying different fads in history. In English, Ms. Barnes is making  
  
us write a modern day 'tall tale.'"  
  
" That sounds like fun."  
  
" Yea. I can't wait. I've already got an idea," she replied as she ran upstairs.  
  
" Is that lasagna I smell?" Amy asked as she slipped off her coat.  
  
" Yes."  
  
" Are you hiding something from me?"  
  
" Excuse me? What makes you think that?" Maxine asked as she put a pan of  
  
garlic bread in the toaster oven.  
  
" You cook Italian food when you're trying to hide something. Remember that  
  
time when you shrunk my favorite shirt I'd had since college? You made pizza. And the  
  
night you made five cheese stuffed shells? Don't even go there. So what is it this time?"  
  
" I invited a dinner guest. Well he's actually not a guest, we all know him, but it's  
  
kind of like a guest. I mean, he doesn't live here in this house so technically he's a guest I  
  
suppose even though."  
  
" Ma. You're rambling. Get to the point."  
  
" Kyle is coming for dinner. I told him you wanted to apologize for what you said  
  
to him last week."  
  
" You what? I said what?"  
  
" I told him that you feel bad about jumping to conclusions and you want to  
  
apologize."  
  
" What if I won't?"  
  
" Oh come on Amy. It was a childish argument."  
  
" What if I don't want to?" she demanded.  
  
" Then I will send you to your room. Just because you're not ten anymore doesn't  
  
mean I can't still punish you."  
  
" You're kidding, right?"  
  
" What if I weren't?" she asked as she got out the salad from the fridge.  
  
" All right. All right. I'll apologize."  
  
" Thank you," Maxine replied as the back door opened and Kyle stepped in.  
  
" Hey guys. Dinner smells good."  
  
" The best news is, none of it involves a butcher knife," said Maxine with a smile  
  
as she hugged him.  
  
" Great. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have feeling in either of my hands."  
  
" Kyle," Amy started to speak.  
  
" Amy, it's okay. I understand."  
  
" You do?" she asked in a shocked tone.  
  
" Yeah. Now when do we get to eat?"  
  
" Now," said Maxine as Amy shouted up the stairs for Lauren. The three were  
  
seated as Lauren came rushing down the stairs and took her seat across from Kyle. As  
  
soon as the salad started its trip around the table, Lauren looked him straight in the eye  
  
and said,  
  
" Cousin Kyle, is that a hickey on your neck?" In perfect unison Amy and Kyle  
  
both choked upon their water as Maxine dropped the salad bowl to the table with a loud  
  
clatter. Sputtering, Amy shrieked in shock,  
  
" Lauren! Did you just say what I thought you said?"  
  
" Depends on what you thought you heard."  
  
" Did you just ask your cousin at the dinner table if he had a hickey on his neck?"  
  
she wondered in disbelief.  
  
" Yes Mom. I just asked him if he had a hickey on his neck."  
  
" How do you even know what a hickey is?"  
  
" Can we leave the subject of my hickey out of this dinner conversation?" Kyle  
  
asked as he spooned lasagna onto his plate.  
  
" So you aren't denying it's a hickey then?" Maxine asked.  
  
" YES! IT'S A HICKEY FOR GOD'S SAKE! Do I have to rent out a billboard to  
  
the whole damn world? I'd like to keep what goes on in my personal life PERSONAL!"  
  
" So who was it?" Amy said with a snicker as Kyle shot her the evilest of all evil  
  
looks across the table. For a few moments the meal went on in silence until Lauren began  
  
loudly, but subtly humming the song he knew was coming.  
  
" Kyle and Lily sittin' in a tree.... K.I.S.S.I.N.G...." 


	46. Family

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING ASSOC. WITH JA. I do however own the following: Alex Keeling, Kenny Marshall, Mike Ambrose, Darlene, Corrine, Tony Rasario, Mrs. Fletcher, Terry, Leslie, Bob the janitor, Ahmed, Amber, Sarah the cafeteria lady, and Harry.  
  
*TWO WEEK LATER  
  
"Hey Kyle!" Mike shouted as Kyle found himself yawning in protest. Somehow  
  
Tony had managed to convince him to switch to the seven a.m. to three p.m. shift a few  
  
days earlier and his body was still protesting.  
  
"If it's another patient, forget it. I'm out of here in half an hour. I don't wanna get  
  
tied up.  
  
"Sorry buddy. She asked specifically for you."  
  
"She?"  
  
"Exam room 3," Mike replied, handing Kyle a chart. He walked away puzzled,  
  
wondering who exactly was in the room he was headed for. If it was the stripping gorilla  
  
again, Mike was good as dead.  
  
Upon entering the room he saw a woman sitting upon a bed dressed in a pair of  
  
jeans and a black tank underneath a half buttoned white blouse along with black thong  
  
sandals. A blue, yellow, and green striped toboggan was pulled over her head and a set of  
  
sunglasses rested upon her nose.  
  
'Good,' Kyle muttered to himself. 'It's not the stripping gorilla.'  
  
"Ms. Fletcher, what seems to be the problem?" he asked as the woman stood and  
  
walked over to him.  
  
"This," she replied as she began kissing him.  
  
"Whoah," he said in-between kisses. "You had better be my girlfriend, because if  
  
you aren't, there's something wrong with you."  
"I know. There is something wrong. I've missed you and it's making me go  
  
crazy. Can you help me?" Lily asked as she took off her sunglasses and the toboggan.  
  
"Lily?! What are you doing here?"  
  
"Seeking treatment for my serious problem."  
  
"Will this help?" Kyle asked as he gently kissed her lips.  
  
"I suppose it will hold me over until more 'adequate' service can be provided.  
  
How long do you have left in your shift?"  
  
"Fifteen minutes," he replied as he kissed her again.  
  
"Not in your ER Kyle...."  
  
"If it's my ER, then what I say goes. As far as they know, I'm in with a patient,"  
  
he whispered, kissing her harder.  
  
"I don't want them to find me making out with you in an Exam Room. They'll  
  
get the wrong idea about me."  
  
"Then let them get the wrong idea."  
  
"I'll meet you by your car in ten," she said as she pulled on her toboggan and  
  
sunglasses. Kyle opened the door and led her out.  
  
"Ms. Fletcher, just take two of those twice a day and your headache should be  
  
better in no time," he announced loudly as she walked away with a smile. Kyle tossed the  
  
chart on the counter.  
  
"I am officially out of here," he said to Darlene as he headed for the elevator.  
  
"Dr. McCarty," said Darlene, causing him to stop.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I enjoy your shade of lipstick," she replied with a laugh as he stepped into the  
  
elevator, the doors shutting behind him.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me you left lipstick all over my neck 'Ms. Fletcher'?" Kyle  
  
asked as he approached his car. Lily was leaning against it, a large grin across her face.  
  
"Who saw it?"  
  
"Darlene of all people," he replied as he got into the car.  
  
"It could be worse."  
  
"True. So how long are you in town?"  
  
"Three days. I'm visiting my 'family,'" she explained as they turned onto a  
  
street.  
  
"I didn't know you had family in Hartford," said Kyle with a laugh.  
  
"What Kenny doesn't know won't hurt him."  
  
"True again."  
  
A few minutes later, they pulled into the apartment's parking lot.  
  
"I don't live next door to anyone as crazy as Mrs. Fletcher, but this place has its  
  
share of interesting people," explained Kyle as they got out.  
  
"Such as?"  
  
"Ms. Freeman, my 'across the hall' neighbor. She has a habit of chasing people  
  
down the hallway and beating them with her broomstick when she's angry. Then there's  
  
'Betty Crocker.' She lives down the hall. Every time she gets depressed she bakes cakes.  
  
We're due for one at any moment."  
  
"At least you don't have a doorman that tries to grab your ass while he's 'holding  
  
open the door.'"  
  
"What's with all the people grabbing your butt?" Kyle asked as they stepped into  
  
the elevator. He punched in the number 3.  
  
"Couldn't tell you," she replied as the elevator slowly creaked its way up the  
  
shaft. A quiet ding signaled that they were on their floor. Kyle rummaged around in his  
  
pockets and pulled out his keys.  
  
"Had I known you were coming, I would have made an attempt to clean."  
  
"This is nothing compared to what Alex's bedroom looks like. You'd never know  
  
by looking at her living room," Lily said as she sat down on the couch.  
  
"I'll be right back. I'm just going to go change real quick."  
  
"Sure. I'll be right here," she replied with a grin.  
  
It took him three tries to get his shirt on the right way as he thought about her  
  
sitting in the living room. He stood puzzled, looking at his jeans, trying to figure out  
  
where the zipper had gone until he realized they were on backwards. Slapping his face a  
  
few times, he opened the door and wandered out to the living room.  
  
"Kyle, what's this?" Lily asked, holding out a rubber duck.  
  
"Oh. That's Quackers, Ariadne's duck."  
  
"Who is Ariadne?"  
  
"My room mate's daughter."  
  
"You have a room mate that has a daughter?"  
  
"Yeah. The father is a convicted murder felon. Donna, my room mate used to live  
  
with my cousin Vincent, the iron guy. He moved out and I wound up showing up around  
  
the same time. I had no money whatsoever and at that point, my residency was out of the  
  
question. So I wound up here. Thankfully, now that I'm going to be making extra money,  
  
I'll be able to get a place of my own."  
  
"Let me know when. I could always help you find a place," she said with a grin.  
  
"Sounds like a plan," he replied, leaning in to kiss her.  
  
"I've missed this," she whispered as she kissed back. With a quick move he slid  
  
off her white blouse, leaving her shoulders exposed from underneath her tank.  
  
"Where did you say you roommate was?"  
  
"On vacation."  
  
"Good," she whispered again as a loud knocking erupted.  
  
"Are you expecting visitors?" Lily wondered as she sat up.  
  
"Not that I know of," Kyle answered as he began kissing her again. The knocking  
  
stopped for a few seconds but then started back up.  
  
"GO AWAY!" he shouted.  
  
"KYLE MCCARTY OPEN YOUR DOOR THIS INSTANT!"  
  
"Shit! Lily, get in the closet. Now!" he hissed as he hopped off the couch. He  
  
hurried to the door where he found Maxine standing outside.  
  
"Aunt Max. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be um working?"  
  
"Yes I should and yes I am. I need some medical expertise on a case and I  
  
figured what better expertise than my very own nephew. Was I interrupting something?"  
  
she asked curiously.  
  
"Uh no. Nothing at all. What do you need?"  
  
"I need you to look at this picture and tell me if the wound could be self  
  
inflicted." Kyle took a handful of pictures and began to slowly leaf through them.  
  
"How old is the victim?"  
  
"She's a twelve year old girl named Hope."  
  
"How much would you say she weighs?"  
  
"About 120 or so."  
  
"Is she right or left handed?" he asked curiously as he heard a sneeze from the  
  
closet.  
  
"What was that? Did you hear something?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Must be me then."  
  
"So?"  
  
"Oh, Hope is left handed."  
  
"There's no way then this can be self infliction. For starters, the wound is made  
  
at the wrong angle for a left-handed person to inflict it on himself or herself. It was done  
  
by someone else."  
  
"That's what I was afraid of," said Maxine as she took back the pictures.  
  
"Glad I could help."  
  
"And a help you were," she pointed out as she walked back to the door. Kyle  
  
held his breath, almost home free. And then he saw it. Lily's shirt. On the couch.  
  
Maxine's eyes locked upon it at the same time.  
  
"Kyle, this doesn't look like something Donna would wear," she commented,  
  
picking it up.  
  
"It's not Donna's," he said, wanting to immediately kick himself for it.  
  
"Well then I'll just hang it up in the closet."  
  
"The closet? NO." With that he stepped in front of the closet.  
  
"Why not Kyle? Don't be ridiculous. It shouldn't lay around getting wrinkled."  
  
"But."  
  
"But what? Kyle, stop acting so stupid and just let me hang up the shirt." He  
  
moved, knowing that the argument was going nowhere. As she twisted the knob, Kyle  
  
held his breath and wishing for once that Lily had the ability to disappear.  
  
"Kyle, why does your coat have hands sticking out of it?"  
  
"The mannequin came with it?" he said warily.  
  
"Then why does this particular mannequin look like your girlfriend?" she  
  
wondered as Lily stepped out of the closet wearing a large hooded black sweatshirt.  
  
"Because it is my girlfriend. Lily surprised me this afternoon at work. She's in  
  
town for a few days."  
  
"Splendid. You two can come to dinner tonight. I won't take no for an answer,"  
  
she replied as she exited.  
  
"Get out now while you still can," Kyle said with a moan.  
  
"It can't be that bad."  
  
"You haven't met my family." 


	47. Bludgeoned With A Pogo Stick

"Have too," Lily insisted as she sat back down on the couch.  
  
"When?"  
  
"I met your cousin and her fiancé the night he got in the bar fight."  
  
"Oh. Yeah I forgot about that."  
  
"And the night you decided to cut off your hand? I think I met the whole family  
  
that night."  
  
"You were in their company for a minute or two. That wasn't enough time for  
  
them to shine."  
  
"Kyle, they seem like nice people."  
  
"You haven't known them for thirty some odd years. We didn't speak for over  
  
twelve years."  
  
"And why is that?"  
  
"My father, my aunt's brother, is a total ass and first class jerk. Not to mention  
  
the incident involving Vincent and I getting stoned then me proceeding to make Vincent  
  
drive. Long story"  
  
"Sounds lovely. What time is dinner?"  
  
"Six."  
  
"We should get going."  
  
"Good point. The Spanish Inquisition will be waiting."  
  
"We'll be having a dinner guest," Maxine stated as she walked into the kitchen  
  
and hung her coat up.  
  
"Who is it this time?" asked Amy as she pulled a loaf of bread from the oven.  
  
"Kyle's girlfriend."  
"You mean the devil woman?"  
  
"Amy, she has a name."  
  
"All right then. Lily," she said as a loud banging sound came from upstairs.  
  
"Has your daughter transformed into an elephant over night?" Maxine wondered  
  
as she opened the oven door to check the chicken.  
  
"No, she's just playing with the stupid pogo stick her father got her."  
  
"That's nice," Maxine replied as Lauren appeared at the top of the stairs, holding  
  
the pogo stick.  
  
"MOM! Look at this!" she shouted as she hopped onto the pogo stick and began  
  
making her way down the flight of stairs one by one. Amy stood motionless, looking  
  
absolutely horrified.  
  
"Where did you learn how to do that?" she asked angrily as Lauren jumped into  
  
the kitchen flawlessly.  
  
"Cousin Kyle taught me. Isn't it cool?"  
  
"He's not going to think it's cool when I beat him upside the head with this," she  
  
said, grabbing the pogo stick. "Now go wash up for dinner."  
  
"All right. You still need the official two minute family tree rundown," Kyle  
  
explained as he stopped at a red light.  
  
"Ready." she said.  
  
"Okay. My aunt Max, the one who found you in the closet has three kids, Peter,  
  
Amy, and Vincent. You met Vincent in Manhattan. Peter's wife just died. He has a three  
  
year old adopted son Ned and a four month old Jared. Amy lives with Maxine. She's  
  
engaged to Stu. Lauren is her eleven-year-old daughter by her first husband. Maxine's  
  
first husband died a while ago. She was engaged to marry Jared Duff, but he had a heart  
  
attack last year and died as well. Maxine is my father's sister so that all ties up. Peter is  
  
an insurance agent, Amy is a juvenile court judge, and Maxine is a social worker. Every  
  
so often her boss Sean shows up, as do assorted foster children. There have been  
  
complete strangers at the dinner table before. It's not uncommon."  
  
"Sounds like a three ring circus."  
  
"Oh believe me. On a good day, my family can turn a meal into a five ring  
  
circus," Kyle stated as he pulled into the driveway.  
  
"I can't wait."  
  
"Are you ready?" he asked as he opened his door.  
  
"As ready as I'll ever be," Lily said confidently.  
  
"Is someone here?" asked Lauren as she walked into the kitchen.  
  
"I believe it's Kyle."  
  
"Lauren, Kyle's bringing a guest. Can you try and be a bit polite?"  
  
"I will if you will," she challenged.  
  
"Just be good, all right?"  
  
"Okay, okay," she said with a sigh as the door opened and Kyle and Lily walked  
  
in.  
  
"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING TEACHING MY DAUGHTER TO POGO  
  
STICK DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS?" shouted Amy with the pogo stick in hand.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
"You heard me."  
"No hello?" asked Kyle.  
  
"Sorry. Hi Lily. Please excuse me while I escort your boyfriend into the front  
  
yard and bludgeon him with this very pogo stick."  
  
"Look. Amy. I'm sorry about teaching Lauren to pogo stick down the stairs. I  
  
showed her how to go down the front stairs. I didn't think she'd even go down these. Did  
  
she make it?"  
  
"Yup I did!" Lauren quipped as she took handfuls of silverware from the counter.  
  
Kyle flashed her the thumbs up sign  
  
"Amy, put down the pogo stick. We don't want Lily to think we're crazy,"  
  
Maxine said as they walked into the dining room.  
  
"Believe me Maxine, my family makes you look like angels. Besides, Kyle gave  
  
me the zany family history on the way over."  
  
"Oh he did, did he?" asked Amy.  
  
"It's okay, he only told me the good things."  
  
"You know Kyle, we may just have to drag out the photo album after dinner. I  
  
think we have your baby pictures around here somewhere."  
  
"You do Amy and I'll be borrowing your daughter's pogo stick," Kyle said as  
  
Maxine passed around the chicken.  
  
"I bet you were a cute baby," Lily commented.  
  
"Lily, please don't encourage her," Kyle said as he glared at Amy across the  
  
table. A silence took over until Lauren looked up from her plate.  
  
"So Lily, were you the one that gave my cousin the hickey?" 


	48. The Latter

"Well that sure was an interesting meal," Maxine stated as Kyle, Lauren, and a  
  
somewhat still pink-cheeked Lily filed into the kitchen, carrying various dishes.  
  
"It would have been far less eventful if a certain somebody had kept her mouth  
  
shut," Kyle subtly hinted, glancing at Lauren.  
  
"Who me?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah you," he said as Amy came upstairs carrying a worn dusty box.  
  
"Oh Amy. There you are," said Maxine.  
  
"Lily, we're leaving," Kyle said as he headed for the door.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I know what's in that box and I don't want you seeing any of it."  
  
"Come on Kyle, it's okay. Mom hid all of the naked bathtub pictures of you as a  
  
kid," Amy commented with a giggle.  
  
"Maxine," he hissed, "I thought you said you BURNED those."  
  
"Believe me Kyle. Where they are, no one is about to find them."  
  
"That's a relief," Kyle said jokingly as Amy withdrew a fat white book.  
  
"Why do you have my baby book?"  
  
"Your mother was never for the idea and your father is your father. I thought my  
  
nephew deserved a proper baby book, so I made it," Maxine pointed out as she flipped  
  
open the front cover.  
  
"That's Cousin Kyle?" Lauren asked in amazement. A 3x5 shot of a pink-faced  
  
baby glanced up at them. Fire red hair poked out from underneath a blue stocking cap.  
  
"There is no way my hair was that color," Kyle insisted.  
  
"It started turning blondish red when you were about three," she explained.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Here's one of you trying to feed your face while your mother turned her back."  
  
Lily found herself laughing at the picture of a five month old Kyle, spaghetti O's clashing  
  
with his red hair.  
  
"Is that why I refuse to eat Spaghetti O's now?" he asked.  
  
"See, they weren't that bad," Lily said with a smile as they stepped out of the  
  
elevator.  
  
"It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Usually they grill my 'guests,' but they  
  
really like you. I can tell. Especially Maxine. Not many people get her 'seal of  
  
approval.'"  
  
"I liked them too."  
  
"Well that's good," Kyle said with a yawn.  
  
"You sound tired. Do you have a shift tomorrow?" she asked, slipping off her  
  
shoes by the door.  
  
"Nope. I'm just on call," he replied.  
  
"Well I'm feeling beat, seeing that I drove all the way from Manhattan just to see  
  
you."  
  
"I guess I could arrange some sleeping arrangement for you. Follow me to see  
  
your choices madam," he ordered.  
  
"Yessir."  
  
"To your right is the lone bathroom. I believe the tub is available and clean. If  
  
porcelain is not your style, you have the choices of Donna's bed, the guest bed in  
  
Ariadne's room, or my double."  
  
"I'll take the latter if it comes with you in it."  
  
"Deal," Kyle announced, "You don't snore do you?"  
  
"Not that I know of. I'm going to change real quick then I'll be right back."  
  
"You wouldn't be changing into a slinky black something would you?"  
  
"Do you think I actually own sluttish clothing?"  
  
"I think you've got a hidden wild side."  
  
"You wish," she said, walking out. A few minutes later she came back in wearing  
  
a pink tank and lounge pants. He pushed aside the covers for her, allowing her to get into  
  
bed, then reached over and flicked off the light. With that, Kyle wrapped her in his arms.  
  
She nestled her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes.  
  
"I could spend every night going to sleep like this," she whispered.  
  
"So could I." 


	49. Lucky Sevens

It was early the next morning when the two of them awoke to a loud obnoxious  
  
beeping.  
  
"Please tell me that's not what I think it is," Lily said as she rolled over to face  
  
Kyle.  
  
"It's what you think it is. I'm the lucky 7-7 person," he replied, looking at the  
  
clock radio that read 9:30.  
  
"Call Tony and tell him you can't."  
  
"Lily."  
  
"I know," she half whined, handing him the bedside phone. He punched in the  
  
numbers off of his pager, each harder than the last.  
  
"Tony. Yeah. It's me. What? Oh god. I'll be there in ten minutes," said Kyle,  
  
sitting straight up in bed as he hung up.  
  
"What's going on?" an inquisitive Lily asked.  
  
"A school bus overturned on the highway causing a five car pile up. We're  
  
splitting the incomings," he reported as he pulled on a pair of pants.  
  
"God."  
  
"To make it all worse, Mike's caught the flu that's going around and Jack claims  
  
he's stuck in traffic. Knowing Jack, that translates into he has a hangover and can't see  
  
straight enough to get out of bed," Kyle elaborated, slipping on a Metallica shirt he found  
  
laying on the floor.  
  
"Toss me a t-shirt," Lily suddenly ordered, getting out of bed.  
  
"Why?" he asked as he pulled on a pair of tennis shoes.  
  
"Because I'm coming with you and everything I packed isn't exactly suitable."  
  
"Are you sure? This is your 'vacation.' You're not supposed to be working."  
  
"Kyle, if I stayed here, I'd be kicking myself in the head. You need another  
  
doctor and I just happen to be here. Now toss me a shirt or I'll find one for myself."  
  
"Here. Donna 'accidentally' shrunk my Incubus shirt after I lost her Rob Zombie  
  
CD. Long story," he said as he handed the shirt to her and stood up.  
  
Coffee or Mountain Dew?" Kyle asked as they walked out into the kitchen.  
  
"Unless your Mr. Coffee can pump out two cups in under a minute, Mountain  
  
Dew." With that, she reached into the fridge and pulled out two ice-cold cans. Kyle  
  
grabbed his backpack and car keys then lead the two of them out the door.  
  
Complete and utter chaos greeted the two as they stepped into the jam packed  
  
lobby of the hospital. Lily took in a breath of air, feeling as if she had returned home. She  
  
felt Kyle grab her hand and lead her through the crowd into the equally chaotic ER.  
  
He stopped a random nurse that was heading past them.  
  
"Have you seen Tony Rosario around?"  
  
"I saw him looking like he was going to go crazy."  
  
"Where?"  
  
"Nurse's station."  
  
"Thanks." With that they took off to the nurse's station where an extremely  
  
frazzled Tony stood.  
  
"Tony!"  
  
"Oh thank God Kyle. You're here."  
  
"How many are we getting?" asked Kyle as he watched Tony cringe.  
  
"Ten major, twenty to thirty minor."  
  
"You're kidding me."  
  
"No. There's no way we can handle everyone. I've already closed the ER to all  
  
non-accident patients. General is taking as many as it can possibly hold, but between us  
  
and them, it's still pushing the limits."  
  
"Anything I can do to help?"  
  
"Make this chaos stop."  
  
"I can't do that, but I have something I think will make you feel better," Kyle  
  
said, pulling Lily out from behind him.  
  
"Is that who I think it is? Please tell me it is."  
  
"It's me."  
  
"There really is a god. So what are you doing here?"  
  
"I'll explain that later. Now are we going to stand here and talk, or are we going  
  
to work?" Lily asked in her familiar 'no nonsense' voice.  
  
"Believe it or not, I've actually missed working with you," Tony said with a  
  
laugh as they all headed off in their separate directions.  
  
**Author's Note** Okay, so I know this chapter ended a little prematurely and awkwardly, just deal lol. Next chapter will be mainly Peter centered since I haven't written much about him lately. Then the next one will shift back to Kyle and Lily, then a chapter titled Everything But The Kitchen Sink......which means it will have everything BUT the kitchen sink, then there will be a BIG ending Kyle and Lily chapter, then..........THE END!! But don't be sad, I've got a sequel to I Believe all ready planned out!** 


	50. Kissing Cousins

MY DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANY OF THE SHOWS I MENTION IN THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPHS OR JA  
  
[Author's Note: So I lied. This is an all Kyle/Lily chapter, to be followed up by a primarily Peter centered chapter. Then there will be a random chapter, another BIG Kyle/Lily chapter, and then boomers! The BIGGGER THAN BIG last chapter. Enjoi]

* * *

Four hours later, the three tiredly walked into the lounge. Kyle immediately fell onto the  
  
couch. Lily collapsed directly onto his lap.  
  
" I can't believe I ever gave this up," she said, closing her eyes.  
  
" You actually miss this?" Kyle asked, surprised.  
  
" Spend a week in Botox hell. Believe me. You'd be back here begging on your  
  
knees," Lily replied with a laugh.  
  
" So what are you doing back here?" Tony asked, his body thrown lazily across an  
  
armchair.  
  
" As far as Kenny Marshall knows, I'm visiting family."  
  
" You know, unless the two of you move to Kentucky, you can't date your 'cousin'  
  
Lily," he remarked.  
  
" I guess that means we're moving," Kyle said with a laugh as he brushed Lily's hair out  
  
of her face.  
  
" Well, unfortunately for me, I'm still on shift and duty calls," Tony announced as he  
  
heard his name blare over the intercom.  
  
See you two later." He went out the door, leaving them alone.  
  
" Can we just fall asleep right here?" asked Lily.  
  
" You know what will happen if they find out I'm still here. I'll wind up working the rest  
  
of the night," Kyle said, getting up.  
  
" Carry me," she said, half kidding.  
  
" Will you settle for a piggy back ride?" he asked. She nodded and sat up, securing her  
  
arms around his neck.  
  
" Drop me and you're dead," she whispered as she put her cheek against his shoulder.  
  
" I'll try not to," he whispered back as he straightened up and headed out into the  
  
hallway. Bypassing the ah's and whispering between his co-workers, Kyle made his way  
  
outside to the parkinglot. Praising the laws of gravity, he managed to open the passenger's side  
  
door of his car without losing her.  
  
" End of the line," he whispered, kneeling half way, allowing her to slide off. Reluctantly  
  
she got into the car and fastened her seatbelt.

* * *

" You know, I'm going to have to start charging for rides like that giant horse does at  
  
the grocery store," Kyle commented as he piggy-backed Lily into the elevator.  
  
" If it's more than a quarter, I'm off of this horse," she said with a laugh.  
  
" For you, twenty four cents."  
  
" What a bargain," she replied as she readjusted her head on his other shoulder.  
  
" You know it," he answered as the elevator stopped and let them off. As he entered  
  
the apartment, Kyle glanced back at Lily who was now asleep. Quietly he walked into his  
  
bedroom where he laid her down. He pulled off her shoes and sat them on the floor then tucked  
  
her in. With a long yawn, he slipped his shoes off as well and climbed in bed beside her.  
  
" I love you," he whispered as he kissed her then closed his eyes and fell into a deep  
  
sleep.

* * *

She awoke to a loud pounding. Sitting up, she saw Kyle fast asleep beside her. The  
  
pounding continued as she wiped the sleep out of her eyes. She stood and walked out to the  
  
livingroom. Looking out the peephole, Lily saw that it was Amy on the other side. Pulling back  
  
the chain lock, she opened the door.  
  
" You're not who I expected to see," Amy said with a grin.  
  
" Kyle's asleep."  
  
" Did I wake you up?"  
  
" Yeah, but I'll be able to sleep later."  
  
" Sorry."  
  
" No problem. We just got back about two hours ago."  
  
" Well, I've been sent as the family messanger. I think Mom was afraid of what or who  
  
she'd find in Kyle's closet," she replied laughing.  
  
" Just me."  
  
" Well anyway, I'm supposed to see if the two of you want to come for an impromptu  
  
family dinner. Peter called and said he was bringing the kids, so we figured we'd turn it into a full  
  
fledged family ordeal."  
  
" Sounds good. What time?"  
  
" Six thirty or so."  
  
" We'll be there."  
  
" If you need assistance in waking Kyle up, he's ticklish under his ribcage," she divulged  
  
as she headed for the elevator.  
  
" Thanks. I'll keep that in mind." 


	51. Sucker Punch

MY DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANY OF THE SHOWS I MENTION IN THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPHS OR JA  
  
[A/N: SO I LIED......THIS FOLLOWING SCENE JUST KINDA HAPPENED......]  
  
" Time to wake up," Lily whispered in Kyle's ear a few hours later. She was  
  
answered with a loud groan.  
  
" Come on Kyle."  
  
" Nuh uh."  
  
" Kyle. Up. Now."  
  
" Don't wanna."  
  
" You leave me no choice," declared Lily as she took her hands and dug in under  
  
his ribcage. Kyle was soon squirming upon the bed, screaming in defeat.  
  
" Stop!" he pleaded in mercy. She continued to tickle him as hard as possible until  
  
he managed to jump off the bed. He stood in the corner, an evil look forming on his face.  
  
" KYLE WHATEVER YOUR MIDDLE NAME IS MCCARTY. You wouldn't,"  
  
she shouted as she edged herself away from him.  
  
" Oh but I would," he replied as he chased her into the livingroom.  
  
" Can we call a truce?" she asked, dodging behind the couch.  
  
" No such luck," Kyle said as he advanced.  
  
" I'll fight your sorry ass if you even attempt to tickle me," Lily insisted as she  
  
brought her hands up.  
  
" Yeah right. You. Fight me," he laughed.  
  
" Is there something wrong with that?"  
  
" You're a girl."  
  
" So?"  
  
" Girls don't fight guys."  
  
" Wanna bet?"  
  
" Sure. Why not. I'll give you one punch. If you miss..."  
  
" I won't miss," Lily promised.  
  
" You're so sure.." Kyle muttered as he stopped in mid setence. Out of of nowhere,  
  
Lily's fist flew towards his face, striking him hard under the eye.  
  
" Told you so," she bragged as he staggered backwards and fell onto his back.

* * *

" Kyle! What's wrong with your face?" exclaimed Maxine as she walked into the  
  
kitchen where Amy and Lily were fixing dinner. Kyle sat at the kitchen counter, nursing  
  
his left cheek with a bag of peas.  
  
" Lily punched him," Amy said with a laugh as she mixed the salad together.  
  
" What for?" she asked, shocked at the information.  
  
" He told me girls couldn't fight," she said with a smirk.  
  
" I was the idiot that gave her a mercy punch," Kyle mumbled as Maxine yanked  
  
the bag of peas from his face, revealing a large shiner, covering most of his cheek.  
  
" Whew. That's a good one," Maxine said as she tossed the bag into the freezer.  
  
" Give that back!" he demanded.  
  
" Suck it up," she told Kyle. Turning to Lily, she asked,  
  
" Where did you learn to hit like that?"  
  
" That? That was nothing. I could knock him out with a finger. My best friend  
  
Dave was a cop. I know all the tricks in the book," Lily revealed.

* * *

" I'll pay you twenty bucks if you give him one to match the other," Amy said as  
  
the phone rang.  
  
" Make it thirty and you've got a deal," Lily announced as she carried a basket of  
  
rolls into the dinning room. Maxine picked up the phone.  
  
" Hello? Okay. No problem. We're just getting started. See you in a little bit,"  
  
Maxine said as she hung up.  
  
" Who was on the phone?" asked Lauren as she came rushing down the stairs.  
  
" Peter. He said that he got off of work late and that he's just getting the boys from  
  
daycare. Get the salad scoops from the drawer please Lauren," she commanded as she  
  
carried a steaming bowl of chicken alfredo to the table. 


	52. Dead Ringer

MY DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANY OF THE SHOWS I MENTION IN THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPHS OR JA  
  
[A/N: This chapter, then the kitchen sink chapter, then a chapter for the kyly fans, and last but not least....the big kahuna]  
  
" Cool shiner!" Lauren said to Kyle as they walked to the table.  
  
How'd you get it?"  
  
" I thought we decided to leave any strange marks on my body out of the dinner  
  
conversation."  
  
" Lily punched him," Amy said with a laugh.  
  
" You got punched by your girlfriend?"  
  
" I almost knocked him out," Lily replied.  
  
" Did not," Kyle protested.  
  
" He's just mad because a girl that happens to be his girlfriend knocked him flat on  
  
his back," she pointed out as they heard the kitchen door open.  
  
" Peter is that you?"  
  
" Gramma!" Ned screamed as he ran into the dining room and jumped up onto  
  
Maxine's lap.  
  
" Hi Ned," Maxine exclaimed, kissing her eldest grandson on the cheek. Peter  
  
walked into the room and put Jared down on the floor beside her. Looking up, he stopped,  
  
puzzled at the sight before him. There were no empty chairs. She was in Gillian's chair.  
  
They were replacing his wife.

* * *

" What is she doing here?" he asked angrily.  
  
" Peter, it's a family dinner. Kyle is family and Lily is here as his guest," Maxine  
  
pointed out sternly.  
  
" I can't believe you," Peter shouted at Kyle before he stormed out the back door.  
  
" What the hell is his problem?" Maxine asked out loud.  
  
" Mom, look," Amy said, pointing out Kyle first then Lily, who was sitting to his  
  
left.  
  
" What?" asked a clueless Maxine.  
  
" Oh my god," Kyle said as he looked at Lily.  
  
" What?!" she exclaimed, as clueless as Maxine.  
  
" As stupid as it sounds," Amy said, "that was Gillian's place before she."  
  
" You're kidding me. That's what he's angry about?" Maxine asked.  
  
" Look at her Mom. She looks like Gillian minus the long hair."  
  
" I never realized it," Maxine said as she passed a wiggling Ned over to Lauren  
  
and picked up Jared out of his carseat.  
  
" So let me get this straight. I look like someone who is dead?" asked a confused  
  
Lily.  
  
" If you cut your hair to your chin, you'd be a dead ringer for Gillian," Kyle  
  
pointed out.

* * *

" So your cousin ran off and left his kids here because I remind him of his  
  
deceased wife? You're right. Your family is crazy. It's like a soap opera."  
  
" I never thought of it that way," Amy said as she started laughing.  
  
" Mom, what about Uncle Peter?"  
  
" He'll be fine Lauren. He just needs some time to himself," Amy explained.  
  
" Gramma, are we staying with you?"  
  
" Yes, Ned. You are."  
  
" Is Daddy sad about Mommy?"  
  
" Ned, your daddy loved your mommy very much. He misses her a lot," Maxine  
  
answered. " Do you want some Spaghetti O's?"  
  
" Uh huh," he replied, getting down from Lauren's lap and wandering over to Lily.  
  
" Who are you?"  
  
" She's my friend Ned. Her name is Lily," Kyle said as he picked up the toddler  
  
and placed him on his lap.  
  
" Ned, do you want me to get you some Spaghetti O's in your airplane bowl?"  
  
asked Lauren as she stood up.  
  
" Yeah," he said, running after her.  
  
" I'll come with you dear. It's almost time for Jared's night time bottle," pointed  
  
out Maxine.  
  
" I'll come help you Lauren," Amy said as she passed Jared to Lily.

* * *

Kyle looked at Lily holding Jared.  
  
" Just think. This could be us in a few years."  
  
" As true as it is, it's scary if you think about it. We could be parents. There could  
  
be little McCarty spawns roaming the Earth."  
  
" Do you see us with kids?" Kyle questioned.  
  
" I see us with a lot of things hopefully," she answered with a smile.  
  
" Can you believe we're here, discussing whether or not we want children when a  
  
year ago we couldn't stand each other?"  
  
" The lord works in mysterious ways," stated Lily as she bent over and kissed  
  
Kyle.  
  
" Sure does." 


	53. Everything But The Kitchen Sink

MY DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANY OF THE SHOWS I MENTION IN THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPHS OR JA. I REGRETABLY DO NOT OWN JON BON JOVI OR ANY OF HIS MUSIC

* * *

" I'm going to go get your spoon from the table," Amy said as she removed the  
  
bowl of Spaghetti O's from the microwave. Carrying them, she walked into the  
  
diningroom to find Kyle and Lily kissing.  
  
" OH. MY. GOD." she stated, the dish flying from her hands in shock, shattering  
  
all over the floor.  
  
The two bolted straight up as they heard the glass shatter on the floor.  
  
" AMY!" Kyle said, extremely surprised and embarrased. He and Lily  
  
immediately turned the shade of the sauce now spread all over the floor.  
  
" You two. OH MY GOD."  
  
" What's going on in here?" Maxine asked as she came in holding Jared.  
  
I heard glass breaking."  
  
" I dropped Ned's bowl of Spaghetti O's on the floor."  
  
" Now why did you do that?"  
  
" They were. He was. She was."  
  
" Spit it out Amy. What were they doing?"  
  
" They were," she started, but was interupted by Kyle's pager.  
  
" I've gotta....go. Emergency," he stammered, grabbing Lily by the hand.  
  
Have a good night. See you guys later." With that, the two of them rushed outside  
  
to Kyle's car.  
  
" Thanks for the page," he said, getting in the driver's seat.  
  
" No problem. It was the only way we were getting out of there without explaining  
  
to your aunt what exactly we were doing."  
  
" We just need better timing," Kyle joked as they pulled out of the driveway. He  
  
turned on the radio, settling on 96.7, Hartford's hottest rock station.  
  
" What do you want this time?" he asked, pulling his pager out as they hit a stop  
  
light.  
  
" I'm not paging you. I swear," Lily insisted, showing her empty hands.  
  
" Noooooo!"  
  
" Who is it?"  
  
" Three guesses and the first two don't count," he said angrily.  
  
" Tony?"  
  
" I'm going to drop you off at home. Hopefully this won't take too long."  
  
" Tell Tony you have to be home before midnight."  
  
" Why?"  
  
" Because at the stroke of twelve, I turn into a pumpkin."

* * *

He sat with his head against the weathered trunk of a tree. Tears streamed down  
  
his face as he chucked stone after stone into the river, watching them skip across the  
  
mirrored surface. Moonlight spilled across the land and water, casting various shadows.  
  
The silence was broken every so often by the late call of a bird. He felt the necklace  
  
hanging on his neck, the weight of her ring setting on his chest. Memories of their  
  
wedding suddenly flooded his mind, causing him to sob harder.

* * *

" God Gillian. Why did this have to happen to us? Why? Why did you have to  
  
die? Why did God have to take you from me? Why now? Why did He answer our dreams  
  
then take part of mine away? I can't do this any more Gillian. I can't pretend it doesn't  
  
hurt. I can't pretend I'm not sad, mad, or angry. I can't keep pretending that I'm not lonely.  
  
The truth is Gill, I'm the loneliest I've ever been in my life. I feel so empty, like something  
  
has sucked all my will to live out of me. It takes so much for me to get out of bed each  
  
morning. I don't want to get up and put on my fake act anymore. I just want to lay there  
  
tangled in the sheets with the covers pulled over my head, wallowing in the darkness.  
  
That's what my life is now Gillian. Dark. The boys can only bring me so much light, but  
  
nothing can fill the void you left," he whispered. Standing up, Peter put his hand to his  
  
throat to finger the gold ring one last time. Suddenly his shaking hand yanked the chain  
  
as hard as possible, causing it to break.

* * *

" Good-bye Gillian. Good-bye," he whispered quietly between sobs. With that, he  
  
chucked the ring into the river, watching as it splashed and fell to the bottom.  
  
After a few minutes spent gathering himself, Peter turned around and walked back  
  
towards where he parked his car. He needed to go somewhere and sort his thoughts out.  
  
There were things that he had to take care of. Pulling the car keys out of his pocket, Peter  
  
unlocked the car and sat down in the driver's seat. He put the keys in the ignition, starting  
  
the car as he turned on his lights. He might as well go to Amy's. There was no way he  
  
could go home right now after giving her up like this then facing the memories.He pulled  
  
onto the road and cranked up the radio, turning it to a light rock mix station. Lyrics and  
  
notes blared out of his speakers as he drove down the road, drumming his fingers to the  
  
beat. Just shortly after turning off the highway, Bon Jovi's 'Livin' on A Prayer' came on.  
  
Peter found himself absorbed in every ounce of the song as he hummed along to the  
  
lyrics.  
  
' OH WE'RE HALF WAY THERE.....OH OH LIVIN' ON A PRAYER'

* * *

And then it happened. He felt the wheel jerk suddenly, launching him across the  
  
road into the empty left lane. Panicking, he gripped the wheel tightly, his knuckles all  
  
ready turning a deadly shade of white. He looked up to see headlights. Headlights coming  
  
straight at him. Without thinking what he was doing, Peter pulled the wheel as hard as  
  
possible over to the right, causing him to spin at an alarming rate back over to the other  
  
side. The speed was unreal. He could see the guard rail out of the corner of his eye. His  
  
heart thudded in his chest as he pressed his foot as hard as possible to the brake. The  
  
sound of rubber peeling was the last thing he heard before his car struck the guard rail.  
  
The car launched over the rail, flipping and turning countless times before it stopped at  
  
the bottom of a ravine, causing to Peter fall into a world of darkness.

* * *


	54. Melt

MY DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN JA or melt by rascal flatts.

Kyle entered the ER trying his best to contain his strong loathe towards Tony at

the moment. He had been officially 'off' call for two hours and had the following day off.

Whatever warranted the page had better be good.

" Carmen. Where is Tony?"

" Oh my god! Dr. McCarty, what happened to your face?"

" Bar fight. Where's Tony?"

" I don't know. Why?"

" I want to fixate my hands around his throat for the page he sent me. I was off at

nine."

" Do you want me to page him?"

" Please do. Call the mourge while you're at it so they can come pick up his body

when I'm done."

" Whose body Kyle?" asked Tony as he walked up behind Kyle.

" YOU! Why did you page me? I got off two hours ago."

" Kayla Ramirez's mother wants to speak with you."

" Who?"

" Remember the little girl from the bus accident? You saved her leg from

amputation."

" Ah. Yeah I remember. Where's the mother?"

" Peds."

" Thanks Tony," Kyle said as he started to walk away.

" Hey Kyle, I hope I wasn't interupting anything," Tony replied.

" Tony, if you were interupting something between myself and my girlfriend, do

you think I would tell you?"

" No. Hey. Just curious. How did you get the shiner?"

" I got in a bar fight earlier."

" I thought you quit drinking."

" I was trying to break it up," he replied as he walked away, leaving Tony no

opportunity to learn about the real reason.

* * *

She stood beside the window, staring out into the moonlight. Recalling the past

few years of her life, she couldn't believe that she had gotten to this very point. The point

she thought she'd never reach again in her life. The minute after she woke up and found

the letter from Wade, she thought she would die. In fact, she had wanted to die. Without

Wade, she had nothing to live for. Somehow, someway though, she had made it through,

vowing to never become attached to another man like she had Wade. But then Kyle came

into her life and turned it upside down. He brought out emotions and feelings in her that

Lily had never been aware she had. He made her feel whole. He filled the void in her life.

Against all of her strongest desires to resist him, she hadn't been able to. The walls that

she had worked so hard to build crumbled around her as she fell in love with the man she

tried so hard to hate. Wade was just a memory now. Kyle was her future. She was certain

of that. Turning away from the window, Lily knew what she wanted to do. She just didn't

know if she had enough time to get everything ready.

* * *

Kyle sighed as he walked back out to his car nearly thirty minutes later. He

couldn't wait to get home. He missed her all ready. As he pulled onto the road, he pulled

his cellphone out of his pocket and dialed a number.

" Hey."

" Hey yourself," he replied with a smile.

" So what did Tony want?"

" Remember the little girl this afternoon whose leg I saved? Her mother wanted to

thank me."

" That's sweet."

" So what are you doing?"

" Waiting," stated Lily.

" Waiting for what?"

" You."

" So, how do you want to spend your last night here in Hartford? I know it's late,

but we could..."

" I have an idea."

" Oh, what's that?" asked a curious Kyle.

" I'll let you know when you get here."

" I'll be home soon," he replied as he hung up, curious as to what Lily was

planning.

* * *

As soon as he pulled up into his parking lot and parked his car, Kyle headed for

the elevator. Something was telling him that whatever Lily had done, it was special. He

could just tell by the tone of her voice. Stepping in the elevator, Kyle's body filled with

anticipation as he rode higher and higher. Finally it let off on his floor. He stepped out

and walked to his door. Upon entering his apartment, Kyle discovered that it was

completely pitch black.

" Lily. Are you here?" There was no answer. He turned down the small hallway

and saw a flicker of light from underneath his door. Maybe she had fallen asleep waiting

for him. He opened the door and was speechless at the sight before him. Dozens of

candles occupied every nook and cranny, lighting his room entirely by candlelight.

* * *

" Hey," she whispered, coming up behind him.

" Lily, what is all of this?" he asked, still floored by amazement at the sight.

" Kyle, I love you. I can't go back to Manhatten without letting you know how I

really feel."

" B..."

" Ssh. Let me finish. Kyle, before I met you, I built up walls bigger than the Great

Wall of China around my heart, determined to never let anyone tear them down."

" But I did."

" You did. You changed my life. I didn't think I'd ever be at a point like this in my

life ever again. You made me whole again. I don't know where the future will take us, but

I want to risk it all and find out."

" You mean?"

" Yes. I mean. I want to know if this is real."

" Are you positive? I don't want to.."

" I'm sure Kyle. This is the most sure I have been since I accepted Wade's

engagement ring. It's perfectly clear to me." Kyle smiled as they shared a kiss.

" I love you," he whispered in her ear as they fell side by side on his bed. Their

bodies were surrounded by the sudden passion, their hearts melting as the flames flickered in the

shadows.

_When you light those candles  
Up there on that mantle, setting the mood  
Well, I just lie there staring  
Silently preparing to love on you  
Well, I can feel the heat from across the room  
Ain't it wild what a little flame can make you wanna do  
  
I melt every time you look at me that way  
It never fails, anytime, any place  
This burn in me is the coolest thing I've ever felt  
I melt _


	55. Saving You

AUTHOR'S NOTE: WOOOOO I HOPE YA'LL APPRECIATE THIS!! I JUST GOT MY NEW LAPTOP WHERE I TYPED THIS CHAPTER AND I'VE SPENT THE PAST 45 MIN. INSTALLING PROGRAMS AND TRANSFERING FILES JUST TO GET THIS UPDATE HERE LOL!!!

* * *

He awoke with a sudden jolt, unsure of his surroundings. The one thing Peter was most sure of

though, was the unbearable pain that seemed to overtake his whole body. With every breath he

took, a sharp stabbing pain was released in his chest.

' That definitely can't be good,' he thought to himself. Along with the pain in his chest, a fine

mess of blood covered his forehead, matting itself into his hair. Peter raised his hand to his head,

putting the most pressure he could on the bleeding. When he took his hand away, even in the

dark, he could see that it was coated in a sticky red substance. He needed to call 911. Blindly

grasping at the darkness, Peter felt around his car for his cell phone. Victory set in his heart as

his hand clasped around it. Bringing it to his eye level, he pressed the power button and

immediately was brought disappointment.

'BATTERY LOW.'

" Damn piece of crap," he screamed, throwing it to the floor in defeat.

" What am I going to do now? I'm in the middle of nowhere, in a ditch, with no cell phone. How

are they going to find me before I bleed to death?" Peter challenged. The silence didn't answer.

" God. Please. Somehow. Let somebody know where I am. Please. I don't want to die. I don't

want to leave my sons without their only remaining parent. Please help me." Yet again the air

was filled with silence. Peter could feel the blood start to mix with the tears that were falling from

his eyes. He was alone. He was going to die alone. This isn't the way he wanted it. He didn't

want to leave Ned and Jared all alone. He didn't want to leave his family, his brother and sister,

his mother. He wasn't ready.

* * *

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a strong aura filled the dark void.

" Who's there?" Peter asked out loud. There was no answer.

Who's there?" he asked again. And then he smelled it. Gillian's perfume.

" Gillian?" Yet again, there was no reply.

" Gill. Please. Talk to me. Say something. Where are you?"

" Right here Peter," spoke a familiar gentle voice. Peter turned his aching head to find Gillian

sitting beside him in the car.

" Oh god Gillian. I thought I'd never get to see you again. What are you doing here?"

" I'm saving you."

" You mean I'm not dead yet?" questioned Peter.

" No."

" Then why are you here?"

" You needed me."

" You mean, you've been watching me?"

" Every day."

" Have you seen how much the boys are growing?"

" They're so adorable."

" I wish they could have known you."

" They will Peter. You and everyone else will keep my memory alive. You'll tell them about me.

I'll be watching over them."

" Gillian, I wish none of this had happened."

" What do you mean?"

" I wish you were still alive. I wish you could still be with me."

" But I am Peter. I am still with you. Every time you feel a breeze upon your face or see the

sunshine I'm there with you. I'm watching over you every second of the day. Whenever you

want to see me, just close your eyes and I'll be here," she said, gently touching his head. He

smiled.

" I love you Gillian."

" I love you too Peter," she replied as she disappeared before his eyes. Peter was left to himself

again, but this time, the silence was filled with sirens. He was sure no one would have any idea

where he was.

" Thank you Gillian."

* * *


	56. Shoes on The Wrong Feet

* * *

Peter felt the sun beating down upon his face, signaling the beginning of the morning.

Opening his eyes, he saw his car surrounded by a group of rescue workers.

" What's going on?" he asked aloud.

" We're trying to get you out of the car sir. You've done yourself quite a number

here," explained a fire fighter.

" Can you tell me your name sir?" asked a random paramedic

" Peter."

" Peter, we're going to have you out of here in no time," said a worker. Looking

up towards the sky, Peter muttered,

" Thank you Gillian. Thank you."

* * *

" Hey beautiful," Kyle whispered as he rolled over in bed to face Lily.

" Hey yourself," she replied.

" What do you say about us staying in bed until you have to leave tonight?"

" I say it sounds like a good idea."

" Why don't you stay here while I go into the kitchen to fix breakfast."

" Are you sure that's such a good idea?" Lily asked, "you cooking?"

" I happen to be a very good cook," answered Kyle.

" Well, I'd feel a little better if you put on some pants before you did the cooking

she said with a laugh.

" Haven't you ever seen that show on the Food Network? The one about the

chef?"

" Have you ever watched The Naked Chef Kyle? I assure you, he is fully clothed."

" I knew that," he replied as he pulled on a pair of pants and a t-shirt.

" Sure you did," Lily shouted down the hallway after him.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Kyle reappeared in his bedroom carrying a tray laden with an

array of breakfast foods.

" Oh my god. You really can cook," Lily said, pretending to be shocked.

" Did you have any doubts? We have bacon, eggs, sausage, fresh fruit, juice, and

coffee."

" Ah, a cardiologist's worst nightmare."

" That I am," he stated as he slid into bed beside her, putting the tray in between

them.

" I'm not going to want to go home now. Al has never fixed me breakfast in bed

before."

" And I hope she never will. You know, you're more than welcome to stay here."

" I can't," she replied as she took a drink of coffee.

At least, not right now. Do you know how ticked Kenny would be if I called him

and told him I wasn't coming back?"

" Yea, but if it would make it any better, I'll call him for you."

" That would be great. I wouldn't have to worry about living with you, because

you'd be dead and Kenny would be in jail for your murder."

" Enough of the violent talk over breakfast," Kyle said as he ate a forkful of

scrambled eggs.

" Deal," Lily said as his pager began beeping on the bedside table.

" Give that to me," he instructed. Ignoring the number, he turned it off and

proceeded to chuck it down the hallway.

" Are you sure you should be doing that? What if somebody is trying to get a hold

of you?"

" I am OFFICIALLY off today. Anything else doesn't matter. If it's important they

can call me tomorrow. I am not having my last day with you interrupted."

" You make it sound like we'll never see each other again."

" You know what I mean. We've both got crazy schedules."

" I don't even want to think about how I'm leaving tonight."

" Then don't," he ordered as he fed a strawberry to her.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later the plates were empty, as well as the cups.

" That was good," Lily stated.

" Did you ever doubt my culinary skills?" he asked.

" No," she replied.

" Are you just saying that because you know if you aren't nice, I won't kiss you

good-bye?" he asked as the phone began to ring.

" You know you're going to kiss me good-bye regardless," she whispered. Kyle

smiled slyly as he answered the phone.

" Hello? No, I'm sorry. He can't come to the phone. He's currently in bed with

his....." and then he stopped.

" Oh god. Are you sure? Who? I'll be there in five minutes." Kyle hung up the

phone and sat frozen still, staring into space.

" Kyle, are you okay? Is something wrong?"

" That was St. Mike's. They just brought Peter in from an MVA. His car flipped

down an embankment on the interstate."

* * *

" I'll drive."

" No, I can," he said absent mindedly as he pulled on a pair of shoes.

" Kyle, you just put your shoes on the wrong feet. I'll drive," Lily insisted as she

hopped out of bed and pulled on a pair of jeans and a shirt.

" Okay," he replied as he hurried out to the living room and tossed his keys

over his shoulders to her. Together they raced down the stairs, having little patience for

the elevators.

" Have they contacted your family yet?" Lily asked as they sped down the road.

" No. Somebody decided to leave that part up to me," he said as he pulled his cell

phone out of his pocket. With unsteady fingers he dialed his aunt's phone number and hit

send.

* * *

Meanwhile, at the Gray's, Maxine, Amy, and Lauren were sitting around the

kitchen table enjoying a quick breakfast when the phone rang.

" I suppose I'll get that," Maxine replied as she looked up from the newspaper she

was reading.

" Hello?"

" Hello?"

" Aunt Max," Kyle stated nervously.

" Oh Kyle. It's good to hear from you. How are you doing? Has Lily left yet?"

" Aunt Max, are you sitting down?"

" Kyle, you know I hate conversations that start like that. What's wrong?"

" Lily and I are on our way to St. Mike's."

" St. Mike's? Are you two okay?"

" There was an accident."

" An accident? Who?"

" They said Peter's car flipped down an embankment on the interstate."

" OH. GOD. Is he?"

" I don't know anything about his condition yet. Look, I hate to ask you this over

the phone; it may not even be necessary." Taking a deep breath, Kyle continued.

" Do you know if Peter has a D.N.R.?"

" A do not resuscitate order? God no."

" I assume that since Gillian no is longer his living will, you are. If it's necessary,

do you want all extreme measures taken?"

" Yes Kyle. Do whatever it takes to save my son."

" All right. I'll let them know when we get there."

" Kyle, tell him I love him."

" I will."

Amy and Lauren sat staring at a ghost white Maxine.

" Ma....what's wrong?"

" Peter was in an accident. His car flipped down an embankment on the interstate."

" Was that Kyle calling?"

" Yes. He and Lily are on their way to St. Mike's. I told him we'd be there right

away."

" Lauren go get in the car," Amy ordered as she grabbed her purse and car keys.

She ran out the door after Lauren with Maxine directly behind them.

* * *


	57. Keeper

* * *

"Where is he?" Kyle asked as they ran into the ER.

" Trauma 2," replied a nurse sitting at the desk.

" Who took it?"

" Dr. Ambrose," she answered as Kyle took off for the trauma room, leaving Lily

far behind him.

As soon as he reached the designated room, Kyle burst inside, only to be pushed

out by Mike.

" How is he?"

" Who is Gillian?" Mike asked.

" Why does that matter?"

" Just answer the question. Who is Gillian?"

" Gillian is Peter's dead wife," he replied as he watched Mike sigh in concern.

What does any of this have to do with Gillian?"

" He keeps insisting that Gillian saved him."

" Is he mentally stable? Have you cleared him neurologically?"

" Besides his believing that his dead wife saved him, he's fine. Remarkable, in fact.

According to the paramedics and fire fighters, he should have significant internal damage."

" And there is none?"

" None that we can see visibly. We're still waiting on his films to come back."

" Would you let me know when they do?" Kyle asked.

" Sure. Look, I was wondering if you'd go talk to him and see if you can figure

out this whole dead wife thing."

" No problem," he replied as he entered the room.

* * *

" Kyle, what are you doing here?" asked Peter as Kyle stood over him.

" They called me at home to let me know that they had brought you in."

" Sorry if I interrupted anything."

" Just the end of breakfast. Look, they wanted me to come in here to talk to you

about something. According to your doctor, you told him that Gillian saved you. Is that

true?"

" She was there in the car with me. She was sitting right next to me. She told me

that she's been watching me everyday. Me, Ned, and Jared."

" Look, Peter."

" I know. You're like everyone else. You don't believe me. It's okay though. I

know what happened."

" Peter, it's not that I don't believe you, it's just. It's just that sometimes, when

people are involved in a strenuous trauma, they see and hear things."

" Kyle, I am NOT making this up. Gillian was there. I talked to her. She brought

me help."

" How did she bring you help?"

" All of the rescue workers said that had an anonymous source not alerted their

attention to where my car had crashed, it could have been days before someone found

me," he explained as Mike walked back into the room.

" Kyle, you have got to come see this right now," he stated in pure shock.

" I'll be right back," Kyle explained to Peter before he followed Mike out into the

hallway where a dumbfounded Lily was staring at a series of x-rays.

* * *

" What are these?"

" Peter's x-rays," she muttered.

" According to the rescue workers, the amount of force and the type of collision

could have caused death. He should have multiple breaks not to mention massive internal

bleeding and a severe head wound."

" None of which are showing," Kyle answered, now understanding why both Lily

and Mike were so puzzled.

Are you sure these are his films? I mean, the lab techs get them mixed up

sometimes."

" Kyle, these are the third copies of his original tests. I had the tech run them again

and again after I saw the first results."

" It seems like it's too good to be true," Lily stated.

" Other than the cut on his forehead, he's all right. Your cousin must have one hell

of a guardian angel or something," Mike said as he walked away.

" Yeah. Or something" he mumbled as he walked past Lily and back into the room

where Peter was.

* * *

" Peter we need to talk."

" Is there something wrong? Am I going to be okay?" he asked anxiously.

" No. There's nothing wrong. In fact, if you want, I can take the head gear off."

" I was beginning to like it," Peter said with a laugh.

"Look, Peter. I don't want this to sound harsh and tactless, but it's going to. Peter

you should be dead."

* * *

" I should be dead?" he asked slowly, not sure whether or not to believe Kyle.

" The rescue workers said that combined with the height of which you flipped from

and the impact that was absorbed by your body was enough to kill anyone. If you weren't

killed, you should have at least a fair amount of internal bleeding not to mention multiple

broken bones," he explained as he paused, letting the facts settle in.

Peter, at the most you have the cut on your forehead and a minor concussion.

From a Scientific viewpoint, this is impossible."

" I told you she was watching," Peter stated.

" I know. Peter, the reason I came back in here was to tell you, 'I Believe.' I

believe you. I don't know how it happened, but I know how much Gillian loved you.

Obviously it wasn't your time to go. I think you've got one heck of a guardian angel."

" So do I," Peter replied.

Are Maxine and Amy here?"

" I called them on my way over. They should be out in the waiting room right

now."

" Can you go let them know I'm okay?"

" Yeah. I probably should go do that. Last time I talked to Aunt Max, I asked her

if you had a D.N.R.," Kyle said with a laugh.

" Oh, and Kyle," Peter said.

" Yeah?" he asked, stopping in the doorway.

" Could you apologize to Lily for me?"

" Sure thing."

" She's a keeper Kyle. Don't let her go. Let her know how much you love her. Tell

her how much she means to you."

* * *


	58. I Believe

Both Maxine and Amy were pacing back and forth across the carpeted floor of the

waiting room waiting for some kind of news. Lauren sat directly behind them, too scared

to say anything. All three of them jumped as the door creaked open and Kyle walked in.

" How is he?" Maxine asked as she stopped pacing.

" You better sit down," Kyle instructed.

" God damn it Kyle. How many times do I have to tell you? I am an old, frail lady.

Never start conversations with 'you better sit down,' unless you want your poor aunt to

have a heart attack."

" Sorry," Kyle apologized with a laugh.

" So how is he?"

" He's going to be fine. He's got a minor concussion and a cut on his forehead, but

that's all."

" Are you sure?"

" Yeah. It's nothing short of a miracle."

" Can we see him?" Amy asked.

" In a little bit. I'll have a nurse come get you," Kyle said as he stood up and

hugged Maxine. After they parted, Kyle exited the room in search for Lily.

* * *

Through all the chaos, he had just remembered she was leaving that day. He found her conversing with 

Tony near the entrance. When he saw Kyle approaching, Tony walked away.

" Hey there."

" Hey," Lily replied .

" Are you ready to go?" he asked.

" No."

" Why not?"

" Because. I don't want to leave you Kyle. I don't want to go back to Manhattan

without you. I don't know if I can do it."

" But you have to," he said reluctantly.

" I know I do. I know I have to go back for now until we decide on things. I don't

want to let Kenny down like that."

" Lily, when you get back to Manhattan, back to your life at the moment, we can

talk things out."

" But that's the thing Kyle. I'm starting to feel like you're my life, and I don't want

to give that up. I don't want to wake up and know you're hundred miles away. I don't

want to be missing you. I want things to be like they are right now. Right here." Kyle was

silent as he pulled her into an embrace.

* * *

" Let's not do this right now. I don't want our last hour to be like this," he replied 

as he took her by the hand and walked towards the exit, Peter's words still very fresh in

his mind.

Ten minutes later, they arrived at Kyle's apartment. As they got out of the car, Lily

looked at him, tears starting to brim in her eyes.

" My stuff. Is all ready in my car," she muttered.

" Lily, you don't have to go this instant."

" Yes I do. The longer I stay, prolonging the good-bye, the longer it will take me

to say it."

Kyle, I love you. I'll call you tonight," she said quickly, giving him a kiss then

turning for her vehicle.

" Lily. Wait. There's something I've been meaning to give you," he said, reaching

into his SUV. After fishing around for a few moments, he withdrew a black satin box.

I didn't know when I was going to give this to you. I've had it, waiting for the

perfect moment when I know it's what the both of us need and want. I don't want you to

leave without knowing how much I love you. I hope one day we can have what Peter and

Gillian had. I want us to get married. I want us to have kids. I want to be that old couple

sitting on the front porch in rocking chairs, talking about prunes," he said with a grin as

Lily let out a laugh.

" Will you wear this ring as a symbol of our love?"

Lily smiled, both shocked and taken slightly aback. She wiped away the few tears

that had suddenly sprung to her eyes, then turned and looked him straight in the eye.

" Yes."

* * *

Later that evening, after everyone had left his hospital room, Peter sat in bed, 

lingering between consciousness and sleep. He flicked on the small television by his bed,

surfed the channels, then turned it off as a knock sounded on his door. A nurse walked in.

" I hope I didn't interrupt you sir."

" No, I was just getting ready to go to sleep. Is there something you needed?"

" I forgot to give this to you earlier. Your family came then things on the floor got

hectic. I'm sorry," she replied, handing Peter a baggie. His eyes nearly popped out of his

head as he looked at its contents.

" Where did you get this?" he asked as he took the gold wedding band out of the

bag.

"The rescue workers said they found it at the scene. Is there something wrong?"

" It's just that. I thought I lost this," Peter managed to say as he put the necklace

on.

Thank you for bringing it to me." With that, the nurse left Peter's room. He looked

out the window. immediately up at the sky.

" Thank you Gillian," he whispered before he shut his eyes and drifted into a

peaceful sleep.

* * *

_'Every now and then soft as breath upon my skin   
I feel you come back again   
And it's like you haven't been gone a moment from my side   
Like the tears were never cried   
Like the hands of time are holding you and me   
And with all my heart I'm sure we're closer than we ever were   
I don't have to hear or see, I've got all the proof I need   
There are more than angels watching over me   
I believe, I believe'_

_'Forever, you're a part of me   
Forever, in the heart of me   
And I'll hold you even longer if I can   
The people who don't see the most   
Say that I believe in ghosts   
And if that makes me crazy, then I am   
'Cause I believe' -'I Believe' by Diamond Rio-_

* * *

So the end is finally here. This has been one of the hardest stories I've written on It's been nearly a year and a half since I first came up with the idea for 'I Believe' I want to thank all of my reviewers. I promise there is much much more to come.....less Peter....but more fan fictions. 


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